First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Puss in Boots: Look! These dastardly pirates have stolen our sail!"
"Puss in Boots: A magnificent fish! I am in heaven!"
"Pirate: Cat in the cargo hold!"
"Shrek: No, no. Pinocchio and I WANTED to be in this demented by workshop filled with crazy puppets!"
"Pirate #2: Who had the bright idea to hide in here?!"
"Puss in Boots: Andale! Andale! Fight me like a man... or whatever. You can tell them you lost to the best!"
"Pirate #3: Ouch! Quit it!"
"The Narrator: And so the stage was set for the climax of this tale, as Charming prepared a grand show to commemorate his ultimate triumph."
"Pirate #3: Silver and avast! You'll never take me ship!"
"Shrek: I have no idea."
"Puss in Boots: What is he talking about?"
"Fiona: No. I'm--!"
"Puss in Boots: You want to take him or should I?"
"Shrek: That's a good boy."
"Pirate #3: Arrr and avast! I surrender!"
"Shrek: Rent-a-guards! Cheap but stupid. Donkey! Puss! Artie! Bring up the catapult!"
"Puss in Boots: I still don't know what he's talking about."
"(Shrek and Puss in Boots run away)"
"Shrek: We've got things to do, Puss. Let's go."
"Donkey: Oops! Sorry about the walls."
"Fiona: I'll miss you, Shrek."
"Fiona: There's something I need to tell you."
"Shrek: Oh, I'll be back in no time."
"Donkey: I bet they went back into town, Shrek! Let's go! My keen sense of smell can find them, I'm sure! I'm part bloodhound! You knew that, right?"
"Puss in Boots: That was Pinocchio!"
"Evil Pinocchios: Welcome to our workshop, Shrek! Stromboli designed us better than that loser Pinocchio! Want a taste? Prince Charming had Stromboli build us just for you! Surprise! Fine, beat us up! We can take it -- we're not REAL boys. We pull the strings around here, ogre! Don't you want to play with us? Stromboli's not here, but we are!"
"Donkey: Oh, dontcha get it, Shrek? You're gonna be a daddy!"
"Donkey: Whew! I almost didn't make it!"
"The Narrator: When Shrek off on his quest, Charming craftly hatch fairest plan for revenge against Shrek, Princess Fiona and a certain bar lady who are in a mess in a chalk. Determined to seize the throne, Charming called together the rouges of the kingdom and promise them everything they had ever desired."
"The Narrator: Charming then dispatched the Evil Queen, Captain Hook and Stromboli and all their minions. To take over kingdom, Far Far Away."
"Prince Charming: Huzzah. Or, um, happily ever afters we so richly deserved. At last."
"Donkey: Not me. Uh, uh. I got to see it all. Even a preview. Especially the preview."
"Shrek: Donkey! Look, it hadn't even started yet. Just sit down."
"Donkey: Yeah, okay then."
"Shrek: Donkey, you're sitting on my lap."
"Donkey: Oh, sorry, Shrek."
"The Narrator: Our tale begins with an ending. Summoning the last of his strength, the dying King Harold lovingly named Shrek as the heir to the throne of Far, Far Away."
"King Harold: You are the next heir to the throne."
"The Narrator: But the worried Shrek, thinking of the duties, the fame and the discomforts that came with the throne, beseeched the King to pass the crown to someone more worthy."
"Shrek: Come on. Anybody think?"
"The Narrator: With his dying breath, the Frog King then bestowed Shrek. A glimmer of hope."
"King Harold: There is another."
"The Narrator: But, Shrek, Donkey and Puss in Boots would need to set sail to find Fiona's long-lost cousin, Arthur, and place him upon the throne. Fearless leader Shrek raced towards the pirate infested docks to begin his quest. Uh, for at least he would have if he didn't have an important royal duty to perform first."
"Donkey: Aww, c'mon out, Shrek. It can't be that bad! Ooooo... It's not SO bad, Shrek. It's, ah, slenderizing! You look like a royal... something."
"Shrek: Alright, that's enough! I'm not wearing this!"
"Attendant #1: My lord Prince, it is time for the royal buffet!"
"Shrek: I'm not going!"
"Attendant #1: I'm afraid, my lord, that you have no choice in this matter. Royal attendants -- attack formation scepter twelve bravo!"
"Donkey: Get 'em Shrek! It's ogre time! That's fairy dust, Shrek! Grab it! Block their attacks, Shrek! Nice one, Shrek! Smash the ice sculpture, Shrek! That'll make them mad! You know they spent days on that!"
"Pirate: Halt! Stop right where you ARRRrrrrr! Arr ...It took me all day to stack those up."