"Allow me to be the first to say that what we have done here is not a good thing. It's definitely not a good thing. But it was, given the circumstances, the smart play."

"If you take away the horror of the scene, take away the tragedy of the death, take away all the moral and ethical implications that have been drilled into your head since grade one, do you know what you're left with? A 105-pound problem that needs to be moved from point A to point B."

"That's not the point, Adam. I mean, the room is covered in blow; Moore looks like he went at it with a fuckin' mountain lion; I mean, the room looks like the Manson family stayed here a month. This is a major thin-ice situation we got here."

"Your kids are one crutch away from a telethon."

"They've been bad. Very bad."

"A very savage comedy. This fall. Tell no one."

"For boys who should know better..."

"Jon Favreau - Kyle Fisher"

"Cameron Diaz - Laura Garrety-Fisher"

"Christian Slater - Robert Boyd"

"Leland Orser - Charles Moore"

"Daniel Stern - Adam Berkow"

"Jeanne Tripplehorn - Lois Berkow"

"Joey Zimmerman - Adam Berkow, Jr."

"I was a potential millionaire, yet I had to be satisfied with eight pounds, fifteen shillings, less deductions."

"Patrick Barr - Divisional Detective Inspector"

"Meredith Edwards - P.C. Williams"

"Christopher Hewett - Inspector Talbot"

"Moultrie Kelsall - Detective Superintendent"

"Cyril Chamberlain - Commander"

"Eugene Deckers - Customs Official"

"Michael Trubshawe - British Ambassador"

"William Fox - Gregory"

"Audrey Hepburn - Chiquita"

"Sydney Tafler - Clayton"

"Clive Morton - Station Sergeant"