"Karthik Nagesan: (after Mukai and Paul return to the house after the boardroom) I'm surprised you survived the boardroom after last week. Mukai Noiri: Why are you surprised? Karthik Nagesan: Bust-ups, bad decisions, bad business acumen... Mukai Noiri: I live to fight another day."

"Lord Sugar: Oliver, your best hope for 250 grand is to buy yourself a scratchcard."

"Frances Bishop: (seeing Oliver struggling to make rock) What does he do?! Paul Sullivan: He makes sausages. Frances Bishop: (surprised) Yeah, but...how? Paul Sullivan: Don't ask me! I don't even know. (all the while, Frances mouths "How?")"

"Karthik Nagesan: (after Mukai accuses him of being a disruptor) There are two kinds of people in this world: Spectators and players. If you're a player, you'll roll up your sleeves and you'll get in there! Yes, you will step on people's toes and you'll be labelled a disruptor!"

"Lord Sugar: One of you will be fired. Or... (he points to hanging mannequins) Hung out to dry, like those mannequins up there."

"Karthik Nagesan: I saw people not pulling their weight, and that's what leads to frustration because it feels like I'm pushing custard up a hill."

"Paul Sullivan: (After both Titans and Nedula lose the task) If anyone else goes but Mukai today, that's a travesty."

"Lord Sugar: I mean, second week...my favorite task... I...(he stammers) I mean, I'm just lost for words really."

"Lord Sugar: (in the second occasion where both teams lose) Normally, in this task, I make the decision as to which one of those were the best...Well I'll tell you what: I am not putting my name to either of those advertising campaigns. They're useless! Both totally, absolutely useless! I feel so angry that not one of you geniuses came through and ran this thing properly. Never mind Mad Men, more like Demented Dimwits."

"Jessica Cunningham: The one issue is, we can't find the jeans. (slight pause, and then...) Karren Brady: What do you mean, you can't find the jeans? Jessica Cunningham: Er, basically, we put the jeans down and then we've not picked them back up again. Karren Brady: So, you're...doing photographs for your jean campaign without your jeans?"

"Lord Sugar: You like to be known as "The Big K"? Is that right? Karthik Nagesan: The Big K to friends and fans but you can call me K."

"Lord Sugar: (To Oliver who runs a sausage business) Are you Porkos, Greek god of sausages?"

"Karren Brady: You're very excited aren't you? Jessica Cunningham:I am,yeah. I'm really nervous. Karren Brady: Take a breath."

"JD O'Brien: (trying to explain the boys' team name, "Titans") They're in...mythological... Greek...badasses..."

"Dillon St. Paul: I'm the business equivalent of a diamond. I can sparkle and light up a room, but if you're not careful I can cut you."

"Lord Sugar: If you want to moan, you can send me an email at "LordSugar@idon'tcare. com""

"Aleksandra King: The sheer energy I am going to bring is going to mimic that of a nuclear explosion. Once I lock myself onto the target, they do not stand a chance."

"Karthik Nagesan: I'm an emperor, a true leader. A country is not enough, a continent is not enough. I'm after the world."

"Claude Littner: (after Lord Sugar hires Joseph) From Task one, I think he showed a certain caliber, a certain entrepreneurial flair that I think you don't see too often in a young man. Lord Sugar: Yeah. But, you know what? Joseph, my money, my help. I think he can go far."

"Lord Sugar: Technology has been my best friend for over 50 years...but maybe it's time to make new friends. And so Joseph, you are going to be my business partner!"

"Lord Sugar: Why don't you tell me one last time Joseph, why you think you should be my business partner? Joseph Valente: Lord Sugar, I once read a book that changed my life. The title of that book was "What you See is What you Get." and I saw the author of that book and what I'm saying to you is what you see is what you get. I've got ten years experience in this industry, I'm driven, passionate, and hard working. through these last 12 weeks I've jumped through hoops to try and prove to you time and time again that I can adapt and change, I do need investment I do need mentoring. But with that combination I will make a million pounds within five years, there's no doubt about that. And I hope you can see me as a person and I hope you buy into me."

"(During the filming of Joseph's promotional video) Mergim Butaja: I'm off to run a bath. Elle Stevenseon: Mergim, the fire's not working! Mergim Butaja: Neither, is, the, Bath. (Brett laughs in the background and the video stops) Elle Stevenson: Mergim, no! Brett Butler Smythe: (in Mergim's voice) Neither is tha bath! (normal voice)What are you doing? (Take two) Brett Butler-Smythe: Action! Elle Stevenson: Well, what are we going to do about it? I'm freezing. Mergim Butaja: I'll get hold of Plime Time Plumbers... (Elle starts laughing and the filming stops again) Ow, that was perfect!"

"Lord Sugar: You've got more cheek than Kim Kardashian, I think."

"Charleine Wain: (after Joseph shaves his mustache off) Don't grow it back mate!"

"(Joseph goes to an interview in front of Claude Littner who consequently is surprised to see him) Claude Littner: Are you really Joseph? Joseph Valente: Am I really Joseph? Yeah. (Remembering his mustache Claude feels the top of his own upper lip in a mustache fashion)"

"(At the end of Richard's initial interview with Mike Soutar) Mike Soutar: That just appears to be more than just a sloppy mistake. It appears to me to be misleading."

"New interviewer Linda Plant: (having learned that the previous task reduced Charleine to tears) But how are you going to cope, running a multi-million pound organization? Gonna cry?"

"Mike Soutar: (to Richard) You've been rumbled."

"Claudine Collins: Why does Lord Sugar call you Valentino? Joseph Valente: 'Cause my surname's "Valente", the Italian and I'm a bit of a romancer. Claudine Collins: Are you?"

"(The initial interview) Vana Koutsomitis: So do you want me to give you a bit of background about why I know there's an opportunity? Because obviously, that's going to your first question. Claude Litter: Why don't you let me ask the first question rather than predicting it?"

"Richard Woods: (After his interview with Linda) I've thrown it away!"

"Claude Littner: (Reading from Richard's plan) "Project X. A fully managed and implemented business growth campaign that starts with a focus base camp, to remove the clouds from our client's business growth mountain..." (Stunned and bewildered look from Claude)"

"Lord Sugar: (On Charleine's business plan) Expecting her to become as big as Toni & Guy is like expecting Claude to grow an afro."

"Charleine Wain: (to Selina) Do NOT talk over me! I am talking here!"

"Joseph Valente: (to Selina) Oh, my god. You are such a manipulator!"

"Lord Sugar: (after Scott leaves) This process is all about people who perform. At least another one of you will be leaving the process today. (Versatile are dismissed) Karren Brady: He clearly knows he's out of his depth. Lord Sugar: He didn't deserve to stay in this process. He really didn't. Listening to you... Karren Brady: Oh, he's gone! Claude Littner: He's been floundering for weeks really."

"(Connexus have won the task and Lord Sugar sends them on their treat but Scott remains seated) Scott Saunders: It's alright. I would just like to quickly say, thank you for the opportunity but I would like to exit the process at this point. (stunned look from Charleine and the other candidates. For a while Connexus stand at the door and do not leave just yet) Charleine Wain: (gasps) My god! Lord Sugar: Well that's your choice if you want to... (Connexus leave the boardroom) Richard Woods: Oh, my god! Lord Sugar: You're doing my job for me. Richard Woods: (shocked) What is he doing?! Lord Sugar: But I'm an honorable man and I stick to the rules, so all I do is thank you very much for putting yourself forward because you've actually made life a bit easier for me, okay? Scott Saunders: Thank you very much. (Scott leaves the boardroom) Charleine Wain: My god! (Scott walks past his team-mates and gets his luggage then leaves) Richard Woods: Scott, what are you doing?! Scott Saunders: I'm off! (Stunned look from Vana)"

"Lord Sugar: (on Versatile's party after they lose the task) It was supposed to be fun. It seemed to me more like an Ofsted inspection."

"(On the second day of the task, Richard tries to attract customer into his team's discount store, all the while being watched from the upper floor by Vana and Brett) Richard Woods: We're Manchester's newest discount store. I've even got it on my T-shirt, that means it's true."

"(Gary and Charleine carry two large boxes to their stall on the first day of the task) Gary Poulton: You alright there, Charleine? Charleine Wain: (struggling) Yeah. The heavy candles are heavy!"

"(After Versatile win the task and on their treat) Richard Woods: Do you fancy, when you move to London, getting a place round there Charleine? Charleine Wain: Yeah, not with you though Richard!"

"(As Sam tries to work a cash register it keeps beeping) Sam Curry: Oh, shut up! (the register beeps again and he gives up) Screw that."

"Scott Saunders: I want that stuff, in there! Brett Butler-Smythe: Speak to me like that again..."

"(After customers ignore Scott during his attempt to sell body-wash and Maltesers on an escalator) Scott Saunders: It's alright, I'll talk to myself."

"Claude Littner: (on Scott's attempts to secure work during leaflets) What a complete waste of time!"

"Sam Curry: (after listening to a football manager telling them what they have to do if they secure a contract) Question: If we get this contract, do we have to do it?"

"Lord Sugar: (to Elle minutes before firing her) In your day job, you organize the construction of basements. Well in this particular task, you've dug yourself a very, very big hole. You're Fired!"