"(to Kumail) Naw dog. I'm not joking. You're not funny to me. You just make me sad. You make me sad inside of my heart, and it makes me sad to look at you. So I think you should probably go. Just go and tell my mom I want her. (Kumail is stunned.) Will you please get my mom?"

"So, uh, 9/11? No, I mean, I've always wanted to have a conversation about it with... (pauses) people."

"Look at me. Look me in the eyes when you fuck me! Look at me. PLEASE! (after fast-food worker refuses his order)"

"Apparently, there are good and bad comas. And the kind that they put her in, the medically induced ones, are definitely the good kind of coma. Like you know how there are good and bad carbs? Gremlins, those can be good or bad."

"It’s just really hard to do standup comedy when your girlfriend is in a coma."

"Azmat Nanjiani: (to Kumail) You should be stylish like your father. It's not very difficult. Just observe me."

"Sharmeen Nanjiani: Since when are you someone to stand up? You know who I think should stand up is Malala. She has something to say, she has something to say!"

"Kumail Nanjiani — Kumail Nanjiani"

"Zoe Kazan — Emily Gardner"

"Your driver will be ready as soon as he puts on his pants."

"I read in an interview with Hugh Grant, he said he doesn't smile because it makes his face look fat. So I didn't smile in pictures for many years."

"Ray Romano — Terry Gardner"

"Time flies when you're working your ass off."

"I can provide for myself just fine."

"There aren't enough hours in the day or judges on the bench to try all the cases brought against these men. The game has been rigged and the courts see it through. The trial is their right. But to bury you beneath the prison for forcin' the judge and the DA to do their jobs is the court's right, too."

"I don't want to sound foolish, but remember love is what brought you here. And if you've trusted love this far, don't panic now. Trust it all the way."

"That child that's coming, that's your grandchild. I don't understand you. It's your grandchild. What difference does it make how it gets here. The child ain't got nothin' to do with that. Ain't none of us got nothing to do with that!"

"This is a sacrament. And no, I ain't lost my mind. We are drinking to new life."

"I hope that nobody has ever had to look at anybody they love through glass."

"'Unbow your head, sister."

"Daniel Carty: Maybe I'd feel different if I had done something and got caught, but I ain't do nothing. They was playin' with me because they knew they could. And look, I'm lucky that I only got two years because... when you in there they can do with you whatever they want. You hear me? What... ever... they want."

"Levy: I'm just my mother's son. Sometimes that's all that makes the difference between us and them."

"Joseph Rivers: I know some hustles, and you know some hustles. And these are our children. We gotta set them free. So let's drink on up, man, and let's go on in. We got a whole lot of shit to deal with in a hurry."

"Adrienne, baby. Can I tell you something, sweetie? Ever since the first day I laid eyes on your very fine person, I got caught up in your Adam's apple. Oh, I've been dreaming about it. And I can't tell whether I want to tear it out with my fingers or my teeth. And if you touch my baby sister I'm going to have to make up my mind real quick."

"Dave Franco - Levy"

"Marcia Jean Kurtz - a Jewish grocer"

"Pedro Pascal - Pietro Alvarez"

"Ebony Obsidian and Dominique Thorne - Adrienne & Sheila Hunt"

"Finn Wittrock - Hayward"

"Diego Luna - Pedrocito"

"Ed Skrein - Officer Bell"

"Emily Rios - Victoria Rogers"

"Brian Tyree Henry - Daniel Carty"

"Michael Beach - Frank Hunt"

"Teyonah Parris - Ernestine Rivers"

"Colman Domingo - Joseph Rivers"

"Aunjanue Ellis - Alice Hunt"

"Adrienne Hunt: And who do you funky niggas think you are?"

"Frank Hunt: I think you'll find it's still pumpin', but I wouldn't call it no heart."

"KiKi Layne - Clementine "Tish" Rivers"

"Mrs. Hunt: I guess you call your lustful action love. I don't. I always knew you'd be the destruction of my son. The Bible says, "Put to death therefore all that is earthly in you. Sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, covetousness." That child was born of sin, and the Holy Ghost is gon' cause it to shrivel in your womb."

"Stephan James - Alonzo "Fonny" Hunt"

"Regina King - Sharon Rivers"

"Eduardo Franco - Theo"

"Nico Hiraga - Tanner"

"Noah Galvin - George"

"Austin Crute - Alan"

"Mason Gooding - Nick Howland"

"Victoria Ruesga - Ryan"