"[after Casey tells him to listen to her] No, you listen to me, you little bitch!; If you hang up on me again and I'll gut you like a fish, you understand?."

"[lighthearted, curious tone] What's your favorite scary movie?"

"This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life, for one last scare."

"The police are always off track with this shit! If they'd watch Prom Night, they'd save time! There's a formula to it—a very simple formula! EVERYBODY'S A SUSPECT!!"

"See, you push the laws and you end up dead. Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife."

"It's the millennium. Motives are incidental."

"There's always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend. That's the beauty of it all! Simplicity! Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience."

"[when Randy reveals that he's still alive, and Sidney says that she thought that he was dead] I probably should be. I never thought I'd be so happy to be a virgin."

"Now that Billy tried to mutilate her, do you think Sid would go out with me?"

"If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath—would you be standing in the horror section?"

"[after Stu says that he wants to see Jamie Lee Curtis's breasts in Halloween] Breasts? Not until Trading Places in '83. Jamie Lee was always a virgin in horror movies. She never showed her tits 'til she went legits."

"There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie For instance, number one: you can never have sex."

"[to Dewey] The Janitor's your superior."

"Well, you're not going to be alone any more, right? If you pee, I pee. Is that clear?"

"Oh, you wanna play psycho killer? Okay, let's see. [mock terror] Oh, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface. I wanna be in the sequel!"

"Billy and his penis don't deserve you, okay?"

"Don't go there, Sid; you're starting to sound like some Wes Carpenter flick."

"[last words] Say hello to your mother! [gets poked through his umbrella stab wound and screams; almost stabs Sidney, but he gets shot in the right shoulder by Gale] [Gale: Guess I remembered the safety that time, you bastard.] [his supposed dead body is examined] [Randy: Careful. This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life for one last scare.] [wakes up to try to attack; Gale screams, but Sidney shoots him through the head] [Sidney: Not in my movie.]"

"You hear that, Stu? I think she wants a motive. Well, I don't really believe in motives Sid; I mean, did Norman Bates have a motive? Did we ever find out why Hannibal Lecter liked to eat people? Don't think so! See, it's a lot scarier when there's no motive."

"It works better without the safety on."

"[when Sidney asks why they're murdering people] It's all part of the game, Sidney. It's called "Guess How I'm Gonna Die?"!"

"[to Sidney after she says that life isn't a movie] Sure it is, Sid. It's all a movie. It's all a great big movie. Only you can pick your genre."

"[after he tells Sidney to play a game called "Guess How I'm Gonna Die?" and she says "Fuck you!"] We already played that game, remember?"

"It's called subtlety, Stu. You should look it up."

"[to Sidney] That woman was a slut-bag whore who flashed her shit all over town like she was Sharon Stone or something!"

"[after Stu tells Sidney she dies if she gets a question wrong] If you get it right, you die."

"Loose the titties."

"[after Gale reveals that she was still alive] She looked dead, man. Still does."

"I can't, Billy. You cut me too deep. I think I'm dying here, man."

"When do we see breasts? I wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts. When do we see Jamie Lee's breasts?"

"[after Sidney calls the police] My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me!"

"Everybody dies but us. We get to carry on and plan the sequel, 'cause—let's face it, baby—these days, you gotta have a sequel."