"Her name is Naomi. That's 'I MOAN' backwards."

"Richard, you rascal, you never told me you were a DIK! [under breath] Not that you had to."

"I'd like you to meet Sherri and Terri. Two girls utterly infatuated with men who have larger than normal... medulla o…"

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere."

"Are you stalking me? 'Cause that would be super."

"Hey, look. That old bag is stronger than she looks."

"And thus, 'Topless Tutors' was born."

"Sharing a half-calf latte and a penalty box with Gwen Pearson who believes that censorship reflects society's lack of…"

"Don't be a fool, stay in school."

"You must be Pre-Med Dick."