"Her name is Naomi. That's 'I MOAN' backwards."

"Richard, you rascal, you never told me you were a DIK! [under breath] Not that you had to."

"I'd like you to meet Sherri and Terri. Two girls utterly infatuated with men who have larger than normal... medulla o…"

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere."

"Hey, look. That old bag is stronger than she looks."

"And thus, 'Topless Tutors' was born."

"Sharing a half-calf latte and a penalty box with Gwen Pearson who believes that censorship reflects society's lack of…"

"Don't be a fool, stay in school."

"Don't be a fool, wrap your tool."

"You must be Pre-Med Dick."