Vegas Vacation

"That's nothing, it's a...birthmark."

"Hard six coming out."

"It's my long-life food preservative. The FDA finally approved it!"

"Eddie, This is great! They don't have any of these games at the Mirage."

"His name is not Papagiorgio. His name is Rusty Griswold and he's a C+ student!"

"Don't think unnatural thoughts about your cousin, Rus."

"...and he want's to enter that garden, with a knowledge, and a mulch..."

"Oh, Keno! This is easy."

"My pen burst. (after hotel employee notices Clark's arm is blue from falling in the plane's toilet)"

"(after an attempt to have sex with Clark in the bathroom goes horribly wrong) I'll never fly again."

"Clark, this is a family trip. Can you try to stay with the family."

"Could be worse...you could be pregnant again."

"You find the Clark Griswold that I married and you tell him that I'm at the Mirage!"

"I love what you've done with the kitchenette."

"Well, I don't know what you would do with your horses, because, Clark likes to use the garage for the cars and the lawn mower."

"I've got news for you Clark. I haven't said yes, yet."

"Couldn't you just roll us around on the bed again."

"I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car."

"Who would have thought my sister had the legs of a thoroughbred. Am I right?"

"So I says to him, I said, "Get your own monkey!""

"It's expensive having an entourage."

"Security: "No corrective lenses tonight Mr Papagiorgio?" Rusty: "No sir, I do not require them.""

"Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hittin' on mom!"

"Clark, have you ever tried to swim with the dolphins?"

"[to Wayne Newton] Do you need a bodyguard? I'd die for you!"

"Aw, she's got her mother's looks and her daddy's sense of balance."

"My garden's spittin' out 50-lb tomatoes."

"Hey, kids. Round-up time!"

"Oh, yeah. That's from when I sold my kidney. I figured with all the advancements in modern science, I'd better sell it while someone still wanted to buy it. Smartest thing I ever did, Clark."

"Ahh Uban Coffee you know you can sprinkle that stuff on anything, ice cream, mashed potatoes or just eat it straight out of the can for a quick pick me up."

"Don't worry, he's with me."

"It's a bust, Las Vegas fun police, hand over your chips. ha ha ha ha"

"Whoa man it is a blazer out there. You're lucky you got air conditioning in here {Casino} - like mother nature intended."

"I gotta warn ya Clark – they don’t play the same games that they do at them regular casinos"

"Lord is my witness, I hate this heat! If it isn't gluing your butt to the truck seat it's making you sweat like a farm animal!"

"In this world, you’re either up on the stage in the spotlight, or down in the pit serving drinks"

"Honey, these boys ain't much to talk to, but, if you want a night away from your cat... they're more than fine."

"Jilly - That's it, kid. Now all we have to do is teach you how to dress."

"Roy - What a great audience."

"Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold"

"- Ellen Griswold"

"- Cousin Eddie"

"- Russell "Rusty" Griswold"

"- Audrey Griswold"

"- Cousin Catherine"

"- Cousin Vicki"

"Juliette Brewer - Cousin Ruby Sue"

"- Marty the Blackjack dealer"

"- "Girl in the Red Ferrari" (non-speaking cameo)"

"- Mirage desk clerk"