"My pen burst. (after hotel employee notices Clark's arm is blue from falling in the plane's toilet)"

"That's nothing, it's a...birthmark."

"Hard six coming out."

"It's my long-life food preservative. The FDA finally approved it!"

"His name is not Papagiorgio. His name is Rusty Griswold and he's a C+ student!"

"Don't think unnatural thoughts about your cousin, Rus."

"...and he want's to enter that garden, with a knowledge, and a mulch..."

"Oh, Keno! This is easy."

"(after an attempt to have sex with Clark in the bathroom goes horribly wrong) I'll never fly again."

"- Ellen Griswold"