Hollywood Shuffle

"I have the respect of the community, and that makes me proud...So if you can't take pride in your job, remember, there's always work at the post office.."

"Bobby, this ain't the 'Poot Butt League', man...ain't no 'Poot Butts' around here. This is not your average hot dog stand You know what this is? This is 'Winky Dinky Dog.' It sends chills up my spine every time I say it - Winky Dinky Dog! Bobby...say it with me...Winky Dinky Dog! WINKY DINKY DAAWWGG!"

"I believe this movie. A dude could jump off a mountain and not hurt himself, 'cause he did brace himself, and knew something about the levels of gravitivity and polarity."

"Dirty Larry - the movie where the crooks wait for Larry to go in his jacket, pull out a big ass gun. What'd they think he was lookin' for? His American Express card? Damn! We both gave "Dirty Larry" the finger!"

"NAACP spokesman: They'll never play the Rambos until they stop playing the Sambos."

"Uncle Ray: There ain't nothin to it but to do it."

"Sam Ace: I knew exactly what she could do. And she did too. As she walked towards me, I saw that twinkle in her eyes. I knew it was time - to do the nasty. And I like - doin' the nasty. She was a good kisser; but her breath was stinky. But so what? You don't get rid of a Rolls Royce because it has a dent in it. I had never done it before on my desk. I was just glad to be on top. I'd hate to. do the nasty with a stapler up my ass."

"The guy from the Dirty Larry clip: What you say, honky sucker pig-head jive-turkey fool?"

"Tyrone: I didn't like this movie at all. First of all, it was the fact that I couldn't say the title. I get tired of titles I can't pronounce and shit. If you want people to come and see it, a muthafucker got to be able to tell his woman where he's gonna take her."

"Casting Director: Relax! But I need some tension at the same time. But not too relaxed. But don't forget to give me sparkle."

"Jheri Curl: Please! Gimme my activator!"

"Protestor: I think Bobby Taylor is a two-bit goat smellin' spook, obviously from the Coon Repertoire Theater of America. We are out here sweatin' like niggas on the way to an election in Georgia because he chooses to bug his eyes, yank his dick, and pull his raggedy skid marked drawers out the cracka his Black ass! I have nothing else to say about Bobby Taylor!"

"Robert Townsend - Bobby Taylor / Jasper / Speed / Sam Ace / Rambro"

"Anne-Marie Johnson - Lydia / Willie Mae / Hooker"

"Craigus R. Johnson - Stevie Taylor"

"Helen Martin - Bobby's Grandmother"

"Starletta DuPois - Bobby's Mother"

"David McKnight - Uncle Ray"

"Keenen Ivory Wayans - Donald / Jheri Curl"

"Lou B. Washington - Tiny"

"Brad Sanders - Batty Boy"

"John Witherspoon - Mr. Jones"

"Eugene Robert Glazer - Director of Jivetime Jimmy's Revenge / Instructor / Amadeus / Chicago Jones / Dirty Larry"

"Lisa Mende - Casting Director"

"Dom Irrera - Mandrill Man Vacuum"