"[to a random person at the bus station] Um... hi. I'm Caroline. What's your name?... You know what, that's okay. You don't have to tell me. It's been like one of those nights, you know? I was with my friend Norah, who you don't know, but you'd really like her because everybody likes Norah and she... left me tonight which is - she never does that and then I was kidnapped. And then, she... usually when I go home with her she... she makes me a turkey sandwich when I get home, but I might never get home, you know? And I'm so tired. [looks down and notices what is in his lap] Is that a turkey sandwich?"

"Brian Wade - Fatneck"

"Darren Geare - Croquet Teammate"

"Kelly Stables - Tiny Blonde"

"Felicia Day - Penelope Hope"

"Katherine Bailess - Colleen Lipman"

"Joshua Gomez - Sammy Stinger"

"Richard Lee Jackson - Derek"

"Bethany Joy Lenz - Marni Potts"

"Bryce Johnson - Greg"

"Holly Towne - Janice"

"Kevin Cooney - Dean Sebastian"

"Dennis Hemphill Jr. as Francis"

"Faune A. Chambers - Monica"

"Anne Judson-Yager -Whittier Smith"

"Bree Turner - Tina Hammersmith"

"Amanda Bynes — Sydney White"

"You are such a... a bitch!"

"And I think I'm in love with a dork!"

"AHHH! We're gonna be sisters!!"

"It is so hard to find a decent gluten free soy patty."

"Oh, um, I don't know if you need any sort of special...lady products?"

"You may find this hard to believe, but most of the guys here don't have a lot of experience with girls."

"[talking about Spanky] He keeps himself happy."

"We always do play fantasy video games and then reenact them."

"Well, today's your lucky day because these are sensational."

"You really are a dork."

"Eyes brows meet tweezers, tweezers meet your worst nightmare."

"Lose the big hair. This is not Dallas."