"Rob, you're not going to believe it, I made friends with a whole table of rastafari. Not just one, a whole table... You know what's a weird word? Fork. Oh my God, someone ate my entire pie! I don't know how that happened!"

"Somebody once said, "To write well, you have to write what you know." Well, here is what you know..."

"Denny Kirkwood - Billy Prince"

"Jordan Ladd - Gibby"

"Molly Shannon - Anita"

"John C. Reilly - Augustus "Gus" Strauss"

"Jeremy Jordan - Guy Perkins"

"All you need is for one person to think you're cool, and you're in. Everyone else will be scared to question it."

"Let me tell you something, I don't care about being your stupid prom queen. I'm 25 years old. I'm an undercover reporter for the Chicago Sun Times and I've been beating my brains out trying to impress you people. Let me tell you something, Gibby, Kirsten, Kristin, you will spend your lives trying to keep others down because it makes you feel more important. Why her? Let me tell you about this girl, she is unbelievable. I was new here and she befriended me no questions asked. But you, you were only my friend after my brother, Rob, posed as a student and told you to like me. All of you people, there is a big world out there... bigger than prom, bigger than high school and it won't matter if you were the prom queen, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it."

"Jessica Alba - Kirsten"

"I'm not Josie Grossie anymore!"

"Marissa Jaret Winokur - Sheila"

"Leelee Sobieski - Aldys"

"Michael Vartan - Sam Coulson"

"A Comedy With Class."

"She's never been hip. Never been cool. Never been in... Until now"

"The Class Clown Just Turned Chic."

"Some things are worth waiting for"

"Merkin: I'm just a little tense. This whole office is not Feng Shui. All the desks are facing evil."