Wedding Crashers

"There he is, the big guy!"

"I don't even know what the fuck a quail is!"

"I think he's on steroids. It's like trying to cover a fucking race horse."

"It's the first quarter of the big game and you wanna toss up a hail Mary? I'd like to be pimps from Oakland or cowboys from Arizona but it's not Halloween. Grow up, Peter Pan! Count Chocula! Look, we've been to a million weddings and you know what? We've rocked them all."

"You better lock it up."

"Oh please! You and I both know I'm a phenomenal dancer!"

"I don't even wear a belt...beltless."

"Rule number 76: no excuses. Play like a champion."

"You go have fun. I'm gonna go ice my balls and spit up blood, Team Player!"

"Did you hear what I just said to you? Stage five? Virgin? Clinger? Let’s go, I’m gonna start the car, I’m serious, let’s go."

"I don’t think that you’re appreciating the urgency here. Not only is she a virgin, she’s totally off the reservation. I’m terrified of this broad."

"I'm a little too traumatized to enjoy a scone right now."

"I was first-team All-State. I can put the ball wherever I want to. I'll make it rain out here."

"I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you. And you want to know what? I dig it."

"It feels so good when he jokes."

"Lock it up!"

"The painting was a gift, Todd. I'm taking it with me."

"Yeah that, or it could have been the midnight rape, or the nude gay art show that took place in my room last night."

"Give me a break! That was my first Asian!"

"I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup. I love maple syrup! I love it on pancakes, I love it on pizza! I love to take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?"

"Proper girl in the hat just eye-fucked the shit out of me."

"I'm a cocksman!"

"You motor-boating son of a bitch, you old sailor you!"

"I mean, I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid and his name was Shiloh. We used to play checkers with each other every day and bless his heart, Shiloh'd always let me win!"

"This is the real world, lady! You can't just go shooting people on a whim!"

"I felt like Jodie Foster in 'The Accused'"

"I hope you flip your bike over and knock out your two front teeth, you selfish son-of-a-bitch!"

"Crab cakes and football, that's what Maryland does!"

"Are you ready to have the noise brought on you?"

"That's what we call a sack lunch! Num-num-num-num-num!"

"Daiquiris."

"Well, the guy wants to run for president, he thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease."

"You know, she's not just another notch on your belt."

"Now Todd, it wouldn't kill ya to play some competitive sports, once in a while, would it?"

"Todd, that's good! Tell that mean ocean!"

"Nature versus nurture, Lodge. Nature always wins."

"[about Todd] Oh, he says he believes in art, but all I've seen him do is dribble his own blood on a canvas and smear it around with a stick!"

"Sailor! Good Man."

"Death, you are my Bitch Lover!"

"I made you a painting ... I call the painting 'Celebration'(shows painting). It's sexual and violent. I thought you might like it."

"Would that make you love me?!"

"I'll be in my room painting homo things."

"I'll pop out at the right moment!"

"Let's play tummy sticks."

"We had a moment at the dinner table."

"Jeremy tried to seduce me!"

"What the fuck do you want?"

"God darn you! I almost nun-chucked you. You don't even realize!"

"I'm just living the dream."

"Hey, Ma! Can we get some meatloaf?!"