"I'm not Josie Grossie anymore!"

"Rob, you're not going to believe it, I made friends with a whole table of rastafari. Not just one, a whole table... Y…"

"Hey, Guy, guys, Guy's guys!"

"Somebody once said, "To write well, you have to write what you know." Well, here is what you know..."

"Let me tell you something, I don't care about being your stupid prom queen. I'm 25 years old. I'm an undercover repor…"

"All you need is for one person to think you're cool, and you're in. Everyone else will be scared to question it."

"I'm the coleslaw king of the world!"

"See ya around the Cell Block, Mrs. Robinson."

"Sex can be fun... when you're old enough, which none of you are. I should know. When you lose it to some guy named Ju…"

"The Class Clown Just Turned Chic."