"Oh I love you Raymond. I love you more than anything in this whole world! I love you even more than my own filthiness! More than my hair color! More than the sound of bones breaking! The sounds of death rattles! Even more than my own SHIT do I love you, Raymond!"

"We'll see who's the filthiest person alive! We'll JUST SEE!"

"Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live. Nobody!"

"Do my balls, Mama!"

"Hold these goddamn chickens!"

"How can a couch be out of order?!"

"Princess Coo-coo: Herbert doesn't care if I have ears, he only cares about my mind!"

"Oh my God,you stupid idiot motherfucker!Connie,go away!"

"I'll burn you to death,stupid bitch!"

"Now I won't have any organs! It'll be like having a Barbie doll crotch!"

"Good old germ-carrying American currency!"

"You stand convicted of asshole-ism."

"I guess there's just two kinds of people, Miss Sandstone, my kind of people, and assholes. It's rather obvious which category you fit into."

"Danny Mills - Crackers"

"The next package you bring me is getting shoved right up your little ass, can you comprehend that?!"

"Edith Massey - Edie"

"Oh my God Almighty! Someone has sent me a BOWEL MOVEMENT!"

"I haven't fallen in love for three whole days!"

"Mink Stole - Connie Marble"

"Channing Wilroy - Channing"

"Take them to our ugly expert, and give them a complete overhaul!"

"to Peggy I ain't your maid anymore, bitch! I'm your sister in crime!"

"Divine - Divine / Babs Johnson"

"[while having sex with one of her guards] Oh, that love muscle! Whip it out and show it hard! Oh come on daddy, fuck me! Oh grow little inchworm!"

"That little MF!"

"Hey morons, you got your clothes on backwards!"

"I hope you didn't leave no pecker tracks on my gown!"

"Seize her and fuck her!"

"Come on, bitch! Eat some dog food! Eat it! Eat it, you bitch! Put my baby in the refrigerator!"

"I'm so hungry I could eat cancer!"

"[talking to her breasts] Hi big boys! I bet you didn't know Mommy won the Maryland lottery, yes! I'm going to be buying you lots of new push-up bras, so get ready for your new home! Things are going to be looking up for you two!"

"to Mr. Gravel I don't want no white man lookin' at my Tampax!"

"[to Peggy] I am sick of listenin' to your bitchin'. The next time you feel a fit comin' on, go outside and bitch. Bitch at the air. Bitch at the trees. But don't bitch at us!"

"I'm going to BLOW YOUR BOWELS OUT!"

"Officer: You like lingerie?! How do you like these little numbers? I sent away to 'em from Fredrick's. They was expensive. I love the feel of cold nylon on my big butt!"

"[after Raymond exposes himself to a transsexual in the park, and, shocked, runs away] That is not the only shock you have before you, Raymond Marble, because at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ass hole!"

"David Lochary - Raymond Marble"