"[Pinkie: Man, Fluttershy sure has a lot of weird art.] Yeah, but what do you expect from some quiet bitch who spends her time with woodland creatures?"

"PONIES ARE FOR LITTLE GIRLS!!!"

"Tucker... T-Tucker. (Tucker: Church! It's going to be okay man!) No. Ah... I'm no- I'm not gonna make it. Tucker, there's something I need to tell you. (Tucker: What is it?) I just wanted you to know, I always hated you. I always hated you the most. (Tucker: Yeah, I know you did. Now hurry up and die, you prick.)"

"Okay. Herk...Bleah!"

"Bloody murder! Bloody murder! Oof!"

"This doesn't seem physically possible! Herk-Bleah!"

"Church, is that you? It, it's gone, Church. The A.I., it's gone. Thank you. Heeee, bleah."

"Oh, please! That fudge-finger couldn't hit me! No, wait. I'm gonna die. Herk, blow me."

"(Wyoming: Looks like it's your lucky day, mate.)Oh, thank God! (Wyoming: Don't have time to torture you, so I'm just going to have to kill you.) What? Oh man, this sucks!"

"My quest is over... I can see the flag... It's so, flappy... Hegh-bleahhh!"

"Thank you, son. Feeling much bet-... better. Ahh! (Church: What? What's the matter?) That medication it-it didn't have... Ow! Aspirin in it did it. I'm allergic to asperin. (Church: Ummm!) Can't feel honches, spleen failing, glutes... glutinizing. Church... before I die... I have to tell you something incredibly important. I hold the key to our victory here. (Church: What? What is it?) Herrrr (Church: Aw crap!) Blaghhhh"

"No, that's our job. To win the war at any cost. (Church: Yeah, well good luck. Now that we have you, all we need to do is stop O'Malley. And Tex'll be more that happy to do that.) Oh, on the contrary, my friend. Now that she knows our plan, not only will she not stop us, our dear Tex is going to help us."

"Wait- wait. Tex. Don't- don't let 'em-"

"(Sheila: Warning. Warning. System failing.) Sheila! Damage report! Now! (Sheila: Rear stabilizer offline. Navigations offline. And my system clock does not match interior records.) Did Gamma get loose? (Sheila: Negative. But I do not know how much longer I can contain him.) Computer. What about there? In the canyon. Can we land? (Sheila: Analyzing data.) Just tell me! Can you get us there? (Sheila: I am unable to calculate-) Sheila! Give me manual controls now! (Sheila: Acknowledged. Manual controls activated. Warning. Decompression. Rear doors opening.) Where are they going? Close the hatch! (Sheila: Rear doors open.) Wait! (Sheila: Acknowledged.) What's happening? (Sheila: Warning. Altitude critical. Brace for impact.) Hold on everyone! Hold on! Everybody just hold on!"

"Oh come on, Wash. What're you gonna do? Sh- (Wash: Yes.)"

"How much time do you need? (Agent Washington: Whatever you can get me. When the EMP goes off-) When it goes off, I'll be fine. It only affects computers, remember? And I am a mother fucking ghost."

"(C.T.: Yes! Great shot Jones!) Thanks! But it's actually pronounced Jo-enn-ess, sir!"

"What in the hell is that thing? Oh son of a-"

"(In spanish) Someone explain what's going on."

"Tsk tsk tsk. Wrong answer."

"Here, take the info. It's not complete, but it'll get them started. Go. Find the new artifact."

"Perhaps the next time around."

"It has been an honor, sir."

"Over? Nah...No... you can break me...burn me, bury me alive... As long as I'm still breathing it will never be over. I will hunt you. I will burn you! As long as I'm alive, you're all as good as DEAD!"

"I'd like to quote the great William Shakespeare, but to tell you the truth I don't actually think he said it."

"Oh... wait!"

"Hey guys... if you're hearing this then it means you did it. You won. You kicked the shit out of Hargrove's forces. I knew you could. But this is my last stop. See, when I came into this world, I was really just a collection of somebody else's memories. But with your help, these memories... they-they took form! They became my voice, my personality. And, after a while, I... I began to make brand new memories of my own. All of these things are what make me who I am... but they're also holding me back. I can't run this suit as Epsilon, but if I erase my memories, if I... deconstruct myself, the fragments I'll leave behind will have the strength to get you through this. I believe that. I wish that there was another way. But, I'm leaving this message as well as others, in the hopes that you'll understand why I have to go this time...hehe, it was actually Doyle who made me realize something that I've never thought of before. There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith. Ain't that a bitch."

"Aaah! What are you doing to my skull!? This doesn't seem physically possible!"

"Please, don't!"

"This is going to be so much fun!"

"You've got spirit, Red, but this is the real world! The real world is cold! The real world doesn't care about spirit! You want to be a hero?! Then play the part and die like every other Hunstman in history! As for me, I'll do what I do best - lie, steal, cheat, and SURVIVE!"

"Do you believe in destiny? [Cinder: Yes.]"

"Aw, this was supposed to reduce my overhead! Not turn into my head!"

"iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO."

"You should put that on your bwees-ness cards."

"No, you, it's like reverse bargaining. Alright, I'll take it for free then."

"Die! (laughs then stops) Wait, tuna? What is tuna doing here? (eagle screeches) (King Ping Gasps) Oh no, that's cheating!"

"I don't know how!"

"Where's my saw?"

"Mike Tyson."

"Wait, is it normal to have a faint and irregular pulse? And is it normal to be vomiting blood? Okay, this is totally trippy. Now I don't have like any pulse at all. Oh man, this is awesome."

"Bob Barker."

"How can you win Food Battle if no one can announce it?"

"Waffle Crisp."

"Luckily my fall was softened by this old guy."

"The Food Battle 20-"

"I can't... Beef doesn't..."

"Eat this, Ian!"

"I'M NOT A FREAKING ZOMBIE!"