Films About Vacationing

"[from trailer] Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?"

"If I wanted to kill myself, I'd fucking kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. A shotgun to the dick."

"God, relax. It's like you've haven't seen a little cum on your friend's face before."

"[pretending to speak Russian] D-d-do svidanya! Do svidanya! Martina Navratilova... "Smirnoff Ice"... Priviet! Na zdorovie!"

"[upon seeing their hotel for the first time in years] Muthafucka."

"It must be some kind of hot tub time machine... [deadpans into camera]"

"[on being stuck in the 80's] How am I supposed to get a job?"

"Enrique fuckin' Iglesias!"

"Maybe what you need isn't in here. Maybe what you need has been in here all along."

"[to Lou] You are the patron saint of the totally fucked. You're completely toxic. There's nothing you can't kill. You're the fucking Violator!"

"It's called male bonding, okay? Haven't you even seen Wild Hogs'?"

"Why don't you shut your slut mouth and mind your own fucking business?"

"Here's a question: Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question: Do I give a fuck?"

"[trying to disclaim rumors of his impotence] Oh God! I'm gonna cum! Shia Lebeouf! I'm fucking Adam's sister! Dropping loads! So much fucking semen! Little Tiny Jacobs!"

"Okay, lay down. We got a stupid baby to make."

"I wanna fuck something!"

"[to Jacob, while Lou is shocked that the former does not have ritalin] Don't fuckin' lie to me. Every one of you people have ritalin."

"Outta my way stool"

"[to Lou] I knew I hated you for a reason! I'm gonna tell everyone in prison I went back in time to kill my own father!"

"[about Blaine] Hey look, it's the douchebag from Karate Kid 3."

"Ann Hearn as Stella"

"Stephen Tobolowsky as Mike"

"Faith Prince as Diana"

"Lauren Hutton as Megan"

"Dalton James as Ben"

"Katherine Heigl as Nicole"

"Gérard Depardieu as André"

"I'm having an affair with my phone machine."

"Alex Ferris as Billy Gornicke"

"[about Travis] Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten."

"[angrily] We watch TV in four separate rooms and we IM each other when dinner's ready."

"We have to hang together and stay strong."

"Sewage tank is overflowing."

"[to Carl] It's gonna be a regular Field of Dreams moment for us, buddy."

"Todd, I quit."

"You're just determined to have a bad time, aren't you? [Cassie: We all are, Dad.] Not me. I embrace every challenge."

"Jamie: Who is that maniac?"

"Cassie: [about the Gornickes] What do they like about us? We're not even that appealing!"

"Carl: DAD!!! THE TOILET'S BACKED UP!"

"Travis: Here's where you made your critical mistake: you listened to anything Howie and Joe Joe said. Nice boys, but they're a couple pliers short of a tool chest."

"Mary Jo: [about the Munros] Whoa. They are early risers."

"Earl: [about Bob] He-He was covered in turd."

"Moon: [about Carl] My hero."

"Billy: Mr. Munro, I was just telling Earl and Moon about that neat laptop you were usin'."

"Todd Mallory: Alright, no more details. Just email me the new proposal. [hangs up]"

"Howie: Oh, dude, that is nasty."

"Robin Williams as Bob Munro"

"Cheryl Hines as Jamie Munro"

"Joanna “JoJo” Levesque as Cassie Munro"

"Josh Hutcherson as Carl Munro"