"A bird in the hand is always greener than the grass under the other guy's bushes. It's a metaphor used by gardeners and landscaping people in general."

"North's hopping mad with his parents, and now he's off on a world wide adventure!"

"Ever wonder what your life would be like with different parents? A boy named North did."

"A family comedy that appeals to the child in everyone."

"I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

"The premise of North sounds flat, the previews look insipid, and, while the movie doesn't turn out nearly as bad as either would lead you to believe, North is still a lackluster production."

"[After shooting a pedestrian dead] HELLO!? I've just shot somebody and I did it on purpose!"

"He's mean . . . And he'll blast through your screen! [DVD cover]"

"Did Someone Say Action? [Theatrical]"

"[Directly to the audience] If God was a villain - he'd be me."

"Hey, you want to be a farmer? Here's a couple of acres!"

"Put a sock in it! I don't care who does what to your Hershey highway. And stop shouting, I'm not deaf! You know why you are shouting? Because it's in the script. You're the comic relief. Yes. And you know what else? I am the hero. SO SHUT UP!"

"The big ticket for '93."

"[To Danny Madigan] I should tell you that I have killed people smarter and younger than you."

"You've seen these movies where they say "" or "I'm your worst nightmare"? Well, listen to this one: rubber baby buggy bumpers!"

"No sequel for you..."

"Gee, did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the damn gun!"

"Silent but deadly."

"A great classic comes to the screen."

"Iced that guy...to cone a phrase."