"[To the receptionist in a luxury Georgia hotel] Wazzup with it, vanilla face? Me and my homie Azamat parked our slab outside. We're looking for somewhere to post up our black asses for the night, so bang-bang, skeet-skeet, nigga. We just a couple of pimps, no hoes."

"[On the subway] Hello. My name-a Borat. I'm-a new in town. (A chicken falls out of his briefcase)"

"This is Natalya. [kisses her passionately] She is my sister. She is number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. [Natalya holds up her trophy] Nice!"

"[kissing gesture made to woman] Very nice. How much?"

"[to audience members at a rodeo] My name-a Borat. I come from Kazakhstan. Can I say a-first, we support your war of terror! May we show our support to our boys in Iraq! May US and A kill every single terrorist! May your George Bush drink the blood of every single man, women, and child of Iraq! May you destroy their country so that for next thousand years not even a single lizard will survive in their desert!"

"Luenell – herself"

"Alan Keyes – himself"

"Bob Barr – himself"

"Bob Balaban - Jonathan Steinbloom"

"Harry Shearer - Mark Shubb"

"Catherine O'Hara - Mickey Crabbe"

"Eugene Levy - Mitch Cohen"

"To paraphrase an old joke... Knock, knock. Who's there? It's the New Main Street Singers!"

"I'd worked some bills with a few Folkies, you know, 'Put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him, put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him.' I used to say, 'if he's got a long enough hose, he's gonna make a lot of friends in the shower room.' Heh, heh, heh. Folk audiences hated that joke."

"As you know, back in nineteen seventy mrrphph, I starred on a series called "Wha' Happened?", and every time something would go wrong, I would look at the camera and say, "Hey, wha' happened?" We had a lot of fun with that and a lot of other catchphrases: "I've got a weal wed wagon!", and, uh, "I can't do my wuurrrk!" And I believe I was the first one to use the phrase, "I don't think so!" But it only lasted a year, and that's good, because that's how you establish a cult..."

"No, ladies and gentlemen, we don't ride around on broomsticks and wear pointy hats. Well, we don't ride on broomsticks."

"This is not an occult science. This is not one of those crazy systems of divination and astrology. That stuff's hooey, and you've got to have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Our beliefs are fairly commonplace and simple to understand. Humankind is simply materialized color operating on the 49th vibration. You would make that conclusion walking down the street or going to the store."

"There had been abuse in my family, but it was mostly musical in nature."

"I learned to play the ukulele in one of my last films, "Not-So-Tiny Tim"."

"Terry and I worship an unconventional deity. The power of another dimension. Now you are not going to read about this dimension in a book or a magazine because it exists nowhere... but in my own mind. Through our ceremonies and rituals we have witnessed the awesome and vibratory power... of color."

"We are Winc. W-I-N-C. Witches In Nature's Colors"

"Before we begin tonight's performance I would like to make a brief announcement. I'd like to warn you that some of the floral arrangements at tonight's performance have dangerously low hanging vines and may be poisonous. So please, whatever you do, don't eat 'em and don't become entangled in them or trip, please."

"(referring to his mother) You could say she was overly protective - I just like to think she cared about me, which she did, a lot. And I was a member of the chess team and whenever we would have chess tournaments I had to wear a protective helmet, I had to wear a football helmet. Now who knows what she was thinking? Maybe she thought that we might have fallen maybe and impaled our heads on a pointy bishop or something, I don't know."

"He could be lying face down in a ditch! Wouldn't be the first time!"

"Then there's the kids - we're hearing: "You rock... you rock me... you rock my world!" What?"

"Why didn't somebody follow him? Is there a cockfight arena near here?"

"I feel ready for whatever the experience is that we will... take with us after the show. I'm sure it will be... an adventure... a voyage on this... magnificent vessel... into unchartered waters! What if we see sailfish... jumping... and flying across the magnificent orb of a setting sun?"

"You know, 35 years ago, preparing for a concert meant playing "find the cobra" with the hotel chambermaid."

"Seeing these long lines of fans who want nothing more than to have you sign an autograph, it's like it's 1968... Or '67... Or '66."

"The butt is like society. It has to open up."

"We all stand or sit when we pee. I’m just a human, just a human being When I doo-doo is my shit not brown? It’s a universal thing, we all flush it down And when you wipe do you look at the tissue? Most folks do, it ain’t even an issue. Hot stuff makes it burn comin out, I bet everyone knows what I’m talkin about. Cause we are all one race on this planet, we all burp and fart, and that’s the way God planned it. So don’t act like you're superior, Eat something bad an just like me you’ll get diarrhea Cause black, white, yellow, red, brown or gold, Our shit all comes from the same little hole."

"I want to make you mine, slap yo fat behind, tie you down and make you whine. I want you to scratch my itch and be my bitch.... cuz I luv you girl."

"Tastey T will go to the battle killin more fools than mickey dees kills cattle"

"My foot is ready to fly like a government stealth-G My leather boots ready to fly Direct to the center of the most soft tissue So far up in you that you’re gonna wish You never ever heard my name, Never ever tried my game. When my foot goes in that posterior, You’ll taste it in your mouth’s interior."

"It is our civic duty to bang the booty!"

"We are anti-violent. Anyone who says different, I am going to bust a cap in your ass!"

"When you step to it, step to it hard. It’ll open up so don’t bogart. Time to stand erect and gain entry To the richness that waits within, see. We gotta work hard if we wanna groove it And I’m in it to win it, so let’s do it."

"P - Political, U - Unrest, S - Stabilize, S - Society, Y - Yeah."

"Scott Williamson - Tucker Livingston - Councilman"

"Bob Balaban - Lloyd Miller"

"Eugene Levy - Dr. Allan Pearl"

"David Cross - UFO Expert"

"Parker Posey - Libby Mae Brown"