"My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo. I love to sink her with my pink torpedo! Big bottom, big bottom, Talk about bum-cakes... my girl's got 'em. Big bottom, drive me out of my mind. How can I leave this... behind?"

"May I start by saying how thrilled we are to have you here. We are such fans of your music and all of your records. I'm not speaking of yours personally, but the whole genre of the rock and roll."

"Yeah, listen, we'd love to stand around and chat, but we've gotta... sit down in the lobby and wait for the limo."

"Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful."

"For one thing that goes wrong, a hundred things go right. Do you know what I spend my time doing? I sleep two or three hours a night. There's no sex and drugs for Ian, David. Do you know what I do? I find lost luggage. I locate mandolin strings in the middle of Austin. I prise the rent out of the local Hebrews. That's what I do."

"Whenever a single bump or a ruffle comes into this little fantasy, adolescent fantasy world that you guys, you guys have built around yourselves, you start screaming like a bunch of pansy hairdressers."

"We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water."

"You can't really dust for vomit."

"There's something about this that's so black, it's like how much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black."

"[Asked by a reporter if this is the end of Spinal Tap] Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you."