"Mr. Tusk...why do you blubber so? Are you really mourning your loss of humanity? I don't understand. Who in the hell would want to be human? God Almighty... In all of my travels, I've only ever known a human to be an ocean of shit. And my vessel, she lists, leaking."

"Oh, there, there, there, Mr. Tusk. There, there, I understand. It is very hard to be the elephant of the deep blue sea."

"Ahoy, matey! You know...it has occurred to me. If you are to fulfill your destiny...if you are to be a true walrus. Well, Mr. Tusk...a walrus must learn to swim."

"Yes... Now go to the fish, Mr. Tusk. Take the mackerel. FEED..."

"Yes...isn't this soothing to the soul? You know, if I close my eyes, I can almost imagine being back on Ponder Rock. I knew peace in this twisted, hateful world. I miss our little paradise, Mr. Tusk. This is just a poor facsimile of the magical enclave from when we first became good friends. You remember? Until that...terrible day. Man feeds on the meat and sinew of the helpless until we are all...alone. We survive at all costs only to butcher again and again until we ourselves are at last butchered in turn. You were not prepared for me last time, Mr. Tusk. You were not ready for the fight. But this time, it will be different...because I have hardened you. Just to show you how cruel man can really be. And if I have truly brought out the walrus in you...this time...you might just prevail."

"Some years back, I was rescued from the island of Ponder Rock. A mere hour after I had butchered my sweet savior walrus...in order to live. I marked this occasion for fifteen years now...by allowing my flippered friend the fighting chance he never had. So...you will fight me like a walrus! Or you will die!!"

"So just as I had to kill you back on Ponder Rock, you have a terrible choice to make here. You have to kill me...if you want to live. And if you live, you will be as a walrus...that you almost are. So...either you go full walrus...or this! [attacks]"

"You've lasted longer than the rest. You would kill me if you could. You want to. Your survival instincts...have kicked in. But...so have mine!"

"WALRUSES DO NOT CRY!!!"

"(last words) It is accomplished. You are my...Mr. Tusk. [dies]"

"I'm so scared. This guy wants to turn me into an animal or something..."

"But you...you bring me back. You make me feel beautiful again and cherished. You give me my humanity."

"It's good to cry. It separates us from the animals. Shows you have a soul."

"[about Wallace] He hasn’t called me in 3 days. I’m worried..."

"[about the crime scene] Oh, yes... It is one fuck of a bummer to look at, I can tell you that."

"The 'unted is always "mister", the 'unter is always "monsieur"."

"[groans while holding stomach] You just had to have the second slider. You just HAD to HAVE the second slider. Oof..."

"Michael Parks - Howard Howe"

"Justin Long - Wallace Bryton"

"Genesis Rodriguez - Ally Leon"

"Haley Joel Osment - Teddy Craft"

"Johnny Depp - Guy LaPointe"

"Let me tell you a story..."

"Man is the most dangerous animal."

"Is man indeed a walrus at heart?"

"A Truly Transformative Tale"

"Jean Dixon - Molly"

"Eugene Pallette - Alexander Bullock"

"Gail Patrick - Cornelia Bullock"

"Pat Flaherty - Mike Flaherty"

"Mischa Auer - Carlo"

"Alan Mowbray - Tommy Gray"

"[at her wedding to Godfrey] Stand still, Godfrey, it'll all be over in a minute."

"There comes a turning point in every man's life, a time when he needs help. It happened to me also. Now this family helped me. I hope I repaid my debt. And I may add, some of the money went into a project of my own. I hope you won't mind sir...You see, with the aid of Tommy Gray, I was able to transmute a certain trinket into gold, then into stock, and then into pearls again....I've been repaid in many ways. I learned patience from Mr. Bullock. I found Mrs. Bullock at all times, shall we say, amusing....[To Cornelia] You taught me the fallacy of false pride. You taught me humility....Miss Cornelia, there have been other spoiled children in the world. I happen to be one of them myself. You're a high-spirited girl. I can only hope that you use those high spirits in a more constructive way. And so, good-day."

"[to Cornelia] You belong to that unfortunate category that I would call the Park Avenue brat. A spoiled child who has grown up in ease and luxury and who has always had her own way and whose misdirected energies are so childish that they hardly deserve the comment even of a butler on the off-Thursday."

"My purpose in coming here tonight was two-fold: firstly, I wanted to aid this young lady. Secondly, I was curious to see how a bunch of empty-headed nitwits conducted themselves. My curiosity is satisfied. I assure you it'll be a pleasure to go back to a society of really important people."

"People who take in stray cats say they make the best pets, Madame."

"Alice Brady - Angelica Bullock"

"Carole Lombard - Irene Bullock"

"William Powell - Godfrey"

"Carlo: Oh, Money, money, money! The Frankenstein Monster that destroys souls."

"Alexander Bullock: Life in this family is one subpoena after another."

"My noble lords, the strong must manipulate the weak! That's the first law of the universe. The hard survive, the soft quickly turn to corruption. This is a call to greatness! Approach this day out to battle against your enemies. Let not your hearts faint, fear not and do not tremble, neither be ye terrified because of them. For the Lord your God is He that goeth with you - to fight for you against your enemies to save you. And mine eyes shall not spare, neither will I have pity. I will recompense them according to their ways and their abominations that are in the midst of them. And they shall know that I am the lord that smiteth!"

"Arthur Lowe - Tucker"

"James Villiers - Dinsdale"

"Carolyn Seymour - Grace Shelley"

"Harry Andrews - Ralph Gurney, the 13th Earl of Gurney"

"Michael Bryant - Dr. Herder"

"Coral Browne - Lady Claire Gurney"

"William Mervyn - Sir Charles"