"Chastity Pariah: Listen, young lady. I don't know who you are or where you came from, but you certainly don't fit in this town. Why, you don't even fit in that dress."

"Elvira: Listen, sister. If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you."

"Bartender: No hard liquor served past eight o'clock. Do you want a virgin?"

"I didn't know I had a good aunt, let alone a great one."

"Elvira: Maybe, but, ah…I'll have a couple of drinks first."

"[to Bob] My name's Elvira, but you can call me 'tonight'."

"Patty: Seems to me it's all this cheap little tart's fault."

"Some years back, I was rescued from the island of Ponder Rock. A mere hour after I had butchered my sweet savior walrus...in order to live. I marked this occasion for fifteen years now...by allowing my flippered friend the fighting chance he never had. So...you will fight me like a walrus! Or you will die!!"

"Yes...isn't this soothing to the soul? You know, if I close my eyes, I can almost imagine being back on Ponder Rock. I knew peace in this twisted, hateful world. I miss our little paradise, Mr. Tusk. This is just a poor facsimile of the magical enclave from when we first became good friends. You remember? Until that...terrible day. Man feeds on the meat and sinew of the helpless until we are all...alone. We survive at all costs only to butcher again and again until we ourselves are at last butchered in turn. You were not prepared for me last time, Mr. Tusk. You were not ready for the fight. But this time, it will be different...because I have hardened you. Just to show you how cruel man can really be. And if I have truly brought out the walrus in you...this time...you might just prevail."

"Yes... Now go to the fish, Mr. Tusk. Take the mackerel. FEED..."

"Ahoy, matey! You know...it has occurred to me. If you are to fulfill your destiny...if you are to be a true walrus. Well, Mr. Tusk...a walrus must learn to swim."

"Oh, there, there, there, Mr. Tusk. There, there, I understand. It is very hard to be the elephant of the deep blue sea."

"Mr. Tusk...why do you blubber so? Are you really mourning your loss of humanity? I don't understand. Who in the hell would want to be human? God Almighty... In all of my travels, I've only ever known a human to be an ocean of shit. And my vessel, she lists, leaking."

"I'm so very tired, Mr. Tusk. Battered by a life of cruel fate...poor decisions...and the terrible consequences of both."

"Now...shall we dispense with the chuffa, Mr. Bryton? Perhaps it'd be best, in this, our burgeoning relationship to reveal our hearts with absolute candor. You see...for some time now...I've been constructing a very realistic walrus suit. And I believe with a few modifications, it will fit you just perfectly. But...whilst in the walrus suit, you must be a walrus. There'll be no sounds of a human voice. You must communicate everything you do as a walrus. Do you understand?"

"Your life as you knew it is over, Mr. Bryton. Should you wish to continue living, you will be a walrus...or you will be nothing at all."

"Well, someone's looking for Wallace! Yes...it must be nice to know that somebody cares about you that much. Just what I felt on the island with Mr. Tusk. He was the only living thing that ever had my best interests at heart. As a child, I was not cared for so much as I was...filed away, like a document. A document fed into a shredding machine and fueled by the blood of the innocent. You see, I am a Duplessis Orphan. Now, Maurice Duplessis was the Premier of Quebec in those days. He was the head of the Conservative Party and with strong ties to the Catholic Church. As a matter of fact, it was in collusion with these charlatans of the Lord that Duplessis brought upon Quebec la Grande Noirceur. The Great Darkness. As a boy of 10, my mother and father took me to Montreal. I had never seen anything so beautiful and bright and big and wonderful in my life. But when night falls in Montreal, the monsters come out to play. We were walking to dinner and were accosted by brigands in a back alley. My father was stabbed several times with the mugger's knife and my mother's throat was slashed as if she were cattle. I was placed in an abandoned boys' home in Quebec. Boys whose lives had been destroyed. Provinces were responsible financially for all of the orphanages. The government was responsible for the mental institutions. So Duplessis and the Church, they came up with a scheme to obtain more money by reclassifying the orphanages as mental health-care facilities. And when nobody raised their voice in protest, why, they just shut down the orphanages and sent all the children, including me, to insane asylums. And so for the next five years, I was tortured, I was beaten, I was raped. I have had things in my mouth that no human being should ever taste. They never thought of me as a person. They just thought to use me. And use me they did. Priests, politicians...all pederasts. Even the nurses and nuns and night watchmen. All of them witches, all there to satisfy their most base...physical and financial desires...through the lips and rectum of a child. So with no one to answer to for their horrid crimes, these devils ran amuck with my innocence. But at age 15, I escaped Canada. Got on a boat, went to the United States, and never looked back. Until now. Yes...man is a savage animal, Mr. Bryton. Better to be a walrus."

"Is man truly a walrus at heart?"

"I think that the real savage animals are the human beings."