"In one small bottle... The fountain of youth. The secret of eternal life. The power of an ancient potion. Sometimes it works... sometimes it doesn't."

"Some people will go to any lengths to stay young forever. But Madeline Ashton and her old friend Helen Sharp are about to go TOO far."

"This is life's ultimate cruelty. It offers us a taste of youth and vitality, and then it makes us witness our own decay."

"Make some room for my friend, for Christ's sake. But... keep your ass handy."

"(Last lines. Helen and Madeleine shatter into pieces after falling down stairs) Do you remember where you parked the car?"

"En garde, BITCH!"

"Wrinkled, wrinkled little star, hope they never see the scars."

"Divorce? In California? That is exactly what she wants you to do. You have no talent for poverty."

"(while confronting Ernest Menville) No Ernest, she has wasted you, she married a brilliant surgeon and turned him into an undertaker. I want you to know something, I have never blamed you for leaving me. I always knew it was her. She is a woman, Ernest, a woman, from Newark, for God's sake. I will never forgive her for what she has done to you. Never."

"(while confronting Madeline Ashton) Listen, that was a long time ago, you didn't steal him, he went to you. It wasn't you, it was him. I just want you to know something that I have never ever blamed you, never."

"She was a homewrecker, she was a man eater, and she was a bad actress."

"(whilst peering through a gaping hole in Helen) You're a fraud, Helen. A walking lie and I can see right through you."

"And she even paid for the hardware. Don't you just love it?"

"Ernest! You pushed me down the stairs."

"Ain't nobody can play dead like me, Ernest."

"Ernest, I'm in the morgue."

"Ernest, my ass...I can see... my ass!"

"(after seeing herself transformed from drinking the potion) I'm a girl!"

"My brother was all I had. That kid meant everything to me. And now he's gone."

"Come to me, clouds. May you rise as an evil storm born to rip them open. Let the cover of night bear witness and destroy those who resist so they shall harm me not. Let the blood of many cleanse me, preserving beauty eternal, I pray you."

"I hate telling people the truth and watching them get embarassed for that"

"(after snorting cocaine) Ooh, fuck, that burns!"

"You know what they say? You play the game too long, you start seeing shit and having seizures."

"(to Hutch and Abigail) Go on, get out of here. I've got these punk-ass bitch motherfuckers handled."

"Bitch, that's cheating! I'm not even dead yet!"

"(after tapping the controller, avoiding the carriage in the game) Hell yeah."

"Whoever said size doesn't matter never played a third-person shooter. Can I have a 42-inch this time? You know I like the big ones..."

"You know, Phin? The problem with your mouth is that stupid, insensitive shit comes out of it."

"(Last line/final words, to the Countess) Go fuck yourself."

"(really upset) Somebody ran my brother down in a horse-drawn carriage. I'm gonna find whoever did it, and hurt them."

"If you had any less sense, you'd be half a penny."

"I beta-tested for a while. It sucked. It's kinda like eating a beav. It's awesome at first, then it's just goddamn monotonous."

"I don't know what it is, man! I'm scared, I'm freaking out, man! There's something out here!.. (on the phone) Is that Abby? Wassup Mama?"

"(To Miller) Okay, Where's the torture chamber cause I want some ass."

"Can we skip this bullshit cinematic foreplay? I want to fuuuuccckkkk!"

"[about Abigail] Girl has got body karate going on!"

"Sweet Sebastian Bach, I wanna play!"

"Leslie Del Rosario - Sienna"

"Sarah Wright - Ashley"

"Tyson Ritter - Colby"

"Monet Mazur - Cassandra"

"Kimberly Makkouk - Tanya"

"Dana Goodman - Carrie Mae"