Cult Films

"Stupid fucking idiot. Red-shirted ass."

"It's tequila! It's supposed to fuck you up!"

"I feel like Tom Cruise in Cocktail!"

"You look like a bag of shit. You sure you don't wanna borrow my birthday suit?"

"Shut up, monkey, I've got company, dude!"

"I got my yellow belt, monkey got his red belt...he's a quick learner!"

"Dude, that party was off the hook, kid. Your girl can drink her fuckin' face off!"

"This shit's fuckin' crazy!"

"I'm way too baked to drive to the Devil's house!"

"Drive, monkey, DRIVE!!"

"What is that ringing? Do I have a tumor?"

"I'll smoke it with you, bro. We'll go to the looney bin together. I don't give a fuck!"

"It's called the Brown Bomber. It'll get you so stoned, you'll shit your pants!"

"So I looked up in my tree, and there was the fuckin' king of the jungle staring at me. So I called the five-O!"

"Hey, chill, bro. You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion is here!"

"Dude, anyone can get past a dog, nobody fucks with a lion!"

"The phone is for you. I think it's the Devil!"

"Suck those jugs, kid!"

"Oh my God! I am naked... Come on in!"

"Go, monkey! Karate chop the elephant!"

"Dragonflies?"

"I wanna eat the TV."

"Space shuttle."

"I'm an Antique."

"Thank you, Mr. President."

"Thanks, Alex. Maybe tomorrow you can introduce them to heroin."

"Oh, you can stay as long as you like and love any man you choose!"

"I'll give you my grandson's number, he's gay too."

"That's sweet. Let's see... You're my, uh... I dunno, three-thousand something."

"I didn't know you were bringing people. I would've trimmed my antlers!"

"You want an ice cream sandwich? They're on whole wheat with lettuce."

"(guess I'm not high enough to get that one) You know what else you're not gonna get, party pooper? The Colonel! Here you go, sweetie. [gruff voice] Sucks to be you, nerd!"

"Who wants some cereal? (yeah Colonel Crackers is the best) Oh, I just wish he would hop off the box and hang out with us. I think he's so cute!"

"I can hear my hair growing."

"[Responding to Grandpa having a few beers at the party, if he was alive] He would have had twenty! No, he had a problem..."

"[playing video game] Uh-uh, wait your turn. I'm on a roll here. Take that, you dirty dopers!"

"I had a dream last night. I was a snake slithering through the grass, until I came upon a dead elk, and I climbed into his soul, and it's there I stayed until morning, which meant I will underestimate someone very close to me."

"Oh, ok, ok... Fair enough, yeah, rage it up. Rage all you want. Good things are coming. Good things."

"I had a dream last night. I dreamt I was a dove flying over the sea. And then I dove into the ocean... And I swam with the dolphins. I was two animals joined as one...which meant - good things are coming. Good things."

"Later you guys!"

"It's a wonderful dandelion/nettle blend. Very cleansing. Good for new beginnings."

"I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it."

"All I've ever cared about was video games and they made me a millionaire. So maybe I don't know what the Civil War was, or who invented the helicopter, even though I own one. But I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk."

"You will never have metal legs."

"[robot voice, in dismay] SAMANTHA is fucking ALEX!"

"[when Alex asks him how his game is going that he is developing] People will bow to it."

"[robot voice] Must ingest more fuel."

"[robot voice] I want you to drink from my man faucet."

"[robot voice] Please sit on my face."

"[robot voice] I am not amused."