"[deleted scene; about the flask] It was handcrafted in Hell by Satan himself, and its sole purpose is to get the Fireball of Hades burning once again."

"[deleted scene; he grabs the microphone at the stadium] I get one more shot. The ref can cover me. If I miss it, the Globetrotters have to forfeit. But if I make it, this guy doesn't ref the second half and we all start conducting ourselves as decent human beings again. [the crowd is silent] And we get free pizza! [the crowd roars in joy]"

"The shit has hit the fan, kid! Take a look."

"(Mocking) "But those are my roommates sodas!" Does that sound like a statement the Son of the Devil would make?"

"[after being killed by a bus] From now on, I'm just going to try to avoid all moving metal objects."

"Get in the flask!"

"Popeyes Chicken is fucking awesome!"

"The Prince of Darkness should have a sort of distinguished look to him, and let's face facts, I'm no George Clooney."

"Ozzy Osbourne as Himself"

"[to a crowd of people, in a high voice] I will eat your heart."

"Easy, don't choke."

"You can do it, Ozzy! Bite his freaking head off!"

"I'm sleeping, or am I?"

"Release the evil!"

"But those are my roommate's sodas!"

"Release the good. Release the awesome!"

"Regis Philbin as Himself"

"I never been to Earth, Dad! I never even slept over some other dude's house!"

"Russell_Streiner - Johnny"

"George Kosana - Sheriff McClelland"

"S. William Hinzman - Cemetery Zombie"

"Judith Ridley - Judy"

"Kyra Schon - Karen Cooper/Upstairs body"

"Charles Craig - Newscaster/Zombie"

"Judith O'Dea - Barbara"

"Karl Hardman - Harry Cooper"

"Duane Jones - Ben"

"Marilyn Eastman - Helen Cooper/Bug-eating zombie"

"They won't stay dead."

"Keith Wayne - Tom"

"They're coming to get you...again!"

"In all parts of the country, the wave of murder which is sweeping the eastern third of the nation is being committed by creatures who feast upon the flesh of their victims. First eyewitness accounts of this grisly development came from people who were understandably frightened and almost incoherent. Officials and newsmen at first discounted those eyewitness descriptions as being beyond belief. However, the reports persisted. Medical examinations of some of the victims bore out the fact that they had been partially devoured."

"I think we have some late word just arriving and we interrupt to bring this to you. This is the latest disclosure in a report from National civil defense headquarters in Washington. It has been established that persons who have recently died have been returning to life and committing acts of murder. A widespread investigation of reports from funeral homes, morgues & hospitals has concluded that the unburied dead are coming back to life and seeking human victims. It's hard for us here to believe what we're reporting to you, but it does seem to be a fact."

"So, at this point there is no really authentic way for us to say who or what to look for and guard yourself against."

"All law enforcement agencies and the military have been organized to search out and destroy the marauding ghouls. The survival command center at the Pentagon has disclosed that a ghoul can be killed by a shot in the head or a heavy blow to the skull. Officials are quoted as explaining that since the brain of a ghoul has been activated by the radiation, the plan is, kill the brain and you kill the ghoul."

"We may not enjoy living together, but dying together isn't going to solve anything. Those people aren't our enemies."

"He said the rescue stations have doctors and medical supplies. If we can get Karen there, we can get help for her."

"They keep coming back in a bloodthirsty lust for HUMAN FLESH!..."

"Because of the obvious threat to untold numbers of citizens, and because of the crisis which is even now developing, this radio station will remain on the air, day and night. This station and hundreds of other radio and TV stations throughout this part of the country are pooling their resources through an emergency network hookup to keep you informed of all developments. At this hour, we repeat, these are the facts as we know them. There is an epidemic of mass murder being committed by a virtual army of unidentified assassins. The murders are taking place in villages, cities, rural homes and suburbs with no apparent pattern or reason for the slayings. It seems to be a sudden, general explosion of mass homicide. We have some descriptions of the assassins. Eyewitnesses say they are ordinary looking people. Some say they appear to be in a kind of trance."

"Don't you know what's goin' on out there? This is no Sunday School picnic!"

"We've heard all we need to know. We have to try to get out of here."

"Now get the hell down in the cellar. You can be the boss down there, I'm boss up here!"