Films set in Los Angeles

"[Before destroying merchandise in a Korean drug store] I'm rolling prices back to 1965! What do you think of that?"

"[ Foster approaches the gang after they crashed] You missed. [picks up the UZI and shoots, barely missing the only survivor] I missed too. [the survivor begs for mercy; Foster shoots him in the leg] You see, that's the concept. Take some shooting lessons, asshole."

"God bless the working stiff!"

"Why have you put barbed wire on a fence? Is this how you rich people amuse yourselves? You put barbed wire on the fence so innocent people like me can hurt our hands looking in, huh?"

"I lost my job. Actually I didn't lose it. It lost me. I'm overeducated, underskilled. Maybe it's the other way around. I forget, but I'm obsolete. I'm not economically viable. I can't even support my own kid."

"I've passed the point of no return, Beth. You know when that is? That's the point in a journey where it's longer to go back to the beginning than it is to continue to the end. It's like...Do you remember when those astronauts got in trouble when they were going to the moon and something went wrong? I don't know, somebody screwed up and they had to get them back to Earth, but they had passed the point of no return. So, they had to go all the way around the moon to get back, and they were out of contact for hours. Everybody waited breathlessly to see if a bunch of dead guys in a can would pop out the other side, and that's me. I'm on the other side of the moon now, out of contact, and everybody's just going to have to wait until I pop out."

"Did you know, Beth, in certain South American countries it's still legal to kill your wife if she insults you?"

"Is that what this is about? You're angry because you got lied to? Is that why my chicken dinner is drying out in the oven? Hey, they lie to everybody. They lie to the fish! But that doesn't give you any special right to do what you did today."

"A Tale Of Urban Reality."

"The adventures of an ordinary man at war with the everyday world."

"Michael Douglas - William Foster"

"Robert Duvall - Sgt. Martin Prendergast"

"Barbara Hershey - Elizabeth Tavino"

"Rachel Ticotin - Det. Sandra Torres"

"Tuesday Weld - Amanda Prendergast"

"Frederic Forrest - Nick, the army surplus store owner"

"Lois Smith - William Foster's mother"

"Joey Hope Singer - Adele Foster-Tavino"

"Michael Paul Chan - Mr. Lee, the convenience store owner"

"Raymond J. Barry - Capt. William Yardley"

"D. W. Moffett - Det. Lydecker"

"Steve Park - Detective Brian"

"Karina Arroyave - Angie"

"Brent Hinkley - Rick"

"Dedee Pfeiffer - Sheila Folsom"

"A man eats an apple. He gets a piece of the core stuck between his teeth. He tries to work it out with some cellophane from a cigarette pack. What happens? The cellophane gets stuck in there too. Anna? What was the use. I knew that somehow I'd wind up seeing her that night."

"I am different. I never wanted the money - I just wanted you."

"I should have been a better friend. I shoulda stopped you. I shoulda grabbed you by the neck, I shoulda kicked your teeth in. I'm sorry, Steve."

"Mrs. Thompson: What makes you think I don't understand? I understand! A girl puts on a piece of silk, and the next thing that happens, a young fellow like you is sure he knows exactly what he's doing."

"Pop: Well, you know how it is. He's divorced, but he's still got her in his bones."

"When you Double-Cross a Double-Crosser...IT'S A CRISS-CROSS!"

"They played it with BULLETS!"

"Burt Lancaster - Steve Thompson"

"Yvonne DeCarlo - Anna Dundee"

"Dan Duryea - Slim Dundee"

"Stephen McNally - Det. Lt. Ramirez"

"Esy Morales - Orchestra Leader"

"Tom Pedi - Vincent"

"Percy Helton - Frank"

"Alan Napier - Finchley"

"Robert Osterloh - Mr. Nelson"

"Griff Barnett - Pop"

"Meg Randall - Helen"

"Richard Long - Slade Thompson"

"Joan Miller - The Lush"

"Edna Holland - Mrs. Thompson"

"John Doucette - Walt"

"I didn't want to do this, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses."

"Oh, you've remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds."

"[to a Doberman Pinscher] Look, defenseless babies!"

"It was something your wife said while we were in bed together. She said we had the same build. From the waist up I imagine."

"If you haven't guessed, there's been a lot of drug traffic on the beach lately. And I'm not talking about Robitussin and No-Doz...I'm talking about the hard stuff. I've been posing as an amiable, minor league junkie in order to get to the bottom of it. It hasn't been easy. I don't shower much."

"You know, if you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards."

"...and who would have known that the Vice President knew I was opening the door, but the Secret Service, they just whack [mimes door hitting him in the face] blood..."

"For another grand, I'll let you take me out to dinner."

"[to Gail Stanwyck, who answers the door wearing a towel] Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo."

"I would have been here sooner, but a manure-spreader jackknifed on the Santa Ana. Gawdawful mess. You should see my shoes."

"[after paying his ex-wife's attorney, Fletch walks him to the door] Keep ten for yourself. Go and get yourself a nice piece of ass."

"Hey, don't talk to me that way, assface. I don't work for you yet."

"[server says, "muchas gracias" and Fletch responds] Tierra Del Fuego."

"In the court ruling US vs. Fishbine, a man subjected to potential incineration while wearing another man's suit is entitled to $10,000 worth of airline tickets. It's an obscure ruling, but a very important one. To me."

"[singing] Strangers in the night, exchanging clothing, strangers in my pants..."

"Mr. Stanwyk's parents Marvin and Velma of Provo, were unable to attend the wedding. Those are three names I enjoy; Marvin, Velma, and Provo."

"Hey! I think all of our problems may have just been solved. Ed McMahon. Think I just won a million bucks. Yeahhahhah, Irwin M. Fletcher you choose. Woo wee! Oh boy, I lost. Again. Sorry."

"[Corrupt Police Chief Karlin surprises Stanwyk holding Fletch at gunpoint - said in the dryest manner possible] Thank God. The police."

"Hey that's you and Tommy Lasorda... [smashes picture] I hate Tommy Lasorda."

"Can I call my mother? Tell her how much I love her?"

"Love your body, Larry."

"[narrating] As I pulled up to my palatial, imitation apartment building, I noticed the familiar red Oldsmo-Buick of Mr. Arnold T. Pants, Esquire. Attorney for the former Mrs. Irwin M. Fletcher. Time to use the service entrance."

"Meet the only guy who changes his identity more often than his underwear."

"Fletch. Until last week, he was just another mild-mannered reporter fighting for truth, justice and a window office. Now he's being threatened, shot at, accused and arrested. And that's by the people he's trying to help. But there's still one thing even more dangerous than his work. His love life."

"Chevy Chase - Irwin M. 'Fletch' Fletcher"

"Joe Don Baker - Police Chief Jerry Karlin"

"Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk"

"Richard Libertini - Frank Walker"

"Tim Matheson - Alan Stanwyk"

"M. Emmet Walsh - Dr. Joseph Dolan"

"George Wendt - Fat Sam"

"Kenneth Mars - Stanton Boyd"

"Geena Davis - Larry"

"This is where mechanical excellence and 1,400 horsepower pays off."

"Boy, that's smooth. Smooth as shit off a duck's ass!"

"[while beating a tailgater] Don't tailgate! Don't you ever tailgate! Do you know how much space is needed to stop a car traveling at 35 miles per hour? Six car lengths! Six fuckin' car lengths! That's a hundred and six fuckin' feet, mister! If I had to stop suddenly, you woulda hit me! I want you to get a fuckin' driver's manual, and I want you to study that motherfucker! And I want you to obey the the goddamn rules of the road! Fifty-fuckin' thousand people were killed on the highways last year 'cause of fuckin' assholes like you! Tell me you're gonna get a manual!"

"You and me, mister, we can sure out-ugly them sumbitches, can't we?"

"Dick Laurent is dead..."

"- Fred Madison"

"- Renee Madison/Alice Wakefield"

"- Pete Dayton"

"- Mr. Eddy/Dick Laurent"

"- The Mystery Man"

"- Bill Dayton, Pete's father"

"Lucy Butler - Candace Dayton, Pete's mother"

"Richard Pryor - Arnie"

"- Phil, a mechanic"

"Al Garrett - Carl"

"- Steve "V""

"Henry Rollins - Guard Henry"

"as Guard Mike"

"(voice only) - Forewoman"

"Marilyn Manson and Twiggy Ramirez - porn stars"

"This isn't America, Jack. This is L.A."

"[Repeated line to Coolidge.] Is that what your psychiatrist told you?"

"[After beating FBI Special Agent McCafferty senseless…] See? That's federal property. This isn't. This is L.A. This is my town. Out here you're a trespasser. Out here I can pick you up, burn your house, fuck your wife, and kill your dog. And the only thing that'll protect you is if I can't find you. And I already found you."

"You're much more intelligent than you appear to be, Lieutenant. Must be a big advantage in your field. In my field, everyone was always so desperate to seem cleverer than they were."

"Nick Nolte — Police Lieutenant Max Hoover"

"Melanie Griffith — Katherine Hoover"

"Chazz Palminteri — Ellery Coolidge"

"Michael Madsen — Eddie Hall"

"Chris Penn — Arthur Relyea"

"Treat Williams — Colonel Nathan Fitzgerald"

"Jennifer Connelly — Allison Pond"

"Daniel Baldwin — FBI Agent McCafferty"

"Andrew McCarthy — Jimmy Fields"

"John Malkovich — General Thomas Timms"

"Kyle Chandler — The Captain"

"William L. Petersen — Jack Flynn"

"Aaron Neville — Nite Spot Singer"

"Rob Lowe — Flynn's associate"

"Bruce Dern — LAPD Chief Bill Parker"

"Louise Fletcher — Esther"

"I'm angry. I'm very angry, Ralph. You know, you can ball my wife if she wants you to. You can lounge around here on her sofa, in her ex-husband's dead-tech, post-modernistic bullshit house if you want to. But you do not get to watch MY FUCKING TELEVISION SET!"

"I gotta hold on to my angst. I preserve it because I need it. It keeps me sharp [snaps fingers], on the edge [snaps fingers], where I gotta be."

"Who? Who? What are you, a fucking owl?"

"When these guys walk out the door of whatever score they're gonna take next, they're gonna have the surprise of a lifetime."

"It's like you said. All I am is what I'm going after."

"I am double the worst trouble you ever thought of."

"I'm alone, I am not lonely."

"He knew the risks, he didn't have to be there. It rains... you get wet."

"I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I know life is short, whatever time you get is luck. You want to walk? You walk right now. Or on your own... on your own you choose to come with me. And all I know is... all I know is there's no point in me going anywhere anymore if it's going to be alone... without you."

"[Robbing a bank] We want to hurt no one. We're here for the bank's money, not your money. Your money is insured by the federal government, you're not gonna lose a dime. Think of your families, don't risk your life. Don't try and be a hero."

"You recognize their M.O.?"

"I've been paging your ass all day! I can't stand fucking pagers!! You're bust-up speed freak! Jacking up methamphetamine, again!"

"Chris slipped his tail, and doesn't talk about their scores with Charlene. So, there's nothing for me to get from Marciano. I just tried."

"My name is Sergeant Drucker. I'm with Robbery Homicide. Would you mind putting your kid in the next room?"

"Well, who has to? 'Cause you're on a plane back to New Jersey, jagoff."

"That's right. You will have to. See, if you don't betray Chris, you victimize Dominic. Cause he'll be in foster homes, with no living parents to take care of him. He'll be fucked for life. Dominic didn't chose to screw up his life, but Chris did. You give up Chris, you get off clean. You can do it. For your kid, so you can raise him."

"All kinds of shit. But I don't have to sell this, and you know it. 'Cause this kind of shit here sells itself."

"Come on, sugar. Show yourself."

"[to Marciano] SHUT-UP!!"

"One second at the doorway, then it's all over."

"{In Script Only} [slams Marciano into the wall, while speaking to an an Officer] GET HIM OUTTA HERE!!"

"[barking into walkie-talkie] Unit 2? This is Command. Take him at the street, and check him out."

"It's a 'No-Go', Vince."

"[to Vincent] You don't live with me, you live among the remains of dead people. You sift through the detritus, you read the terrain, you search for signs of passing, for the scent of your prey, and then you hunt them down. That's the only thing you're committed to. The rest is the mess you leave as you pass through. ("You sift through the detritus" is missing in the US blu-ray release)."

"[to Vincent] You prefer the normal routine. We fuck and you lose the power of speech."

"[to Vincent] I may be stoned on grass and Prozac, but you've been walking through our life dead."

"An epic tale of crime and obsession and two men on opposite sides of the law."

"A Los Angeles crime saga."

"From "The Godfather" to "Scent of a Woman". From "Raging Bull" to "Goodfellas". Two of America's celebrated superstars will finally collide."

"Al Pacino — Lt. Vincent Hanna"

"Robert De Niro — Neil McCauley"

"Val Kilmer — Chris Shiherlis"

"Mykelti Williamson — Sgt. Drucker"

"Diana Venora — Justine Hanna"

"Ashley Judd — Charlene Shiherlis"

"Wes Studi - Det.-Sgt. Sammy Casals"

"Jerry Trimble - Det. Danny Schwartz"

"Ted Levine - Det. Mike Bosko"

"William Fichtner — Roger Van Zant"

"Tom Sizemore — Michael Cheritto"

"Susan Traylor — Elaine Cheritto"

"Dennis Haysbert — Donald Breedan"

"Kevin Gage — Waingro"

"Jeremy Piven - Dr. Bob"

"Jon Voight - Nate"

"Get Ready For A Second Rush!"

"The Mouth Of The West And The Hands Of The East Are Back!"

"Jackie Chan as Chief Inspector Lee"

"Chris Tucker as Detective James Carter"

"John Lone as Ricky Tan"

"Zhang Ziyi as Hu Li"

"Roselyn Sanchez as Isabella Molina"

"Harris Yulin as Agent Sterling"

"Alan King as Steven Reign"

"Kenneth Tsang as Captain Chin"

"Oh, excuse me. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is John Kimble... [cocks his gun] ...and I love my car."

"Hey, come here. If you don't stop screwing around back there, this is what I'm gonna do with you. [snaps a pencil in front of a kid]"

"Today, we're going to play a new, fun game. It's called "police school". I'm going to be your sheriff, you're going to be my deputy trainees. [the kids groan nonchalantly] Come on! Stop whining! You kids are soft. You lack discipline. Well, I've got news for you. You are mine now; you belong to me! You're not gonna have your mommies running behind you anymore to wipe your little tushies! Oh, no. it's time now to turn this mush into muscles. No more complaining, no more, "Mr. Kimble, I have to go to the bathroom". Nothing! [brief pause] THERE IS NO BATHROOM!"

"[when he approaches and pins an abusive father to a car] You hit the kid, I hit you!"

"[to a fat kid who stole his friends' lunches] Are these all your lunches? [lifts the kid who shakes his head in disagreement] You mean you eat other people's lunches?! STOP IT! [the fat kid spits out food as Kimble drops him and starts to walk away]"

"Good morning. [Kids: Good morning, Mr. Kimble.] Sit down. [the kids obey] It's very nice to see you all again. Meet my very good friend, Phoebe O'Hara. [Kids: Good morning, Phoebe.] Now, Ms. O'Hara is going to talk to you about something very important. So I want you to pay real attention to what she has to say, okay? [to Phoebe] Remember, no fear."

"You know, kindergarten is like the ocean. You don't want to turn your back on it. [Kimble: Oh, they're okay. Don't worry. Everything's under control.]"

"[to Eleanor after knocking her unconscious with a baseball bat] You're not so tough without your car, are you?"

"Kimble, you've wasted years chasing after me, and what has it got you? Huh? Nothing. I'll be out of here in a week, and you'll still be eating takeout food in that dump you live in. Yeah. I know all about you, Kimble. Without me, you wouldn't even have a life. My old lady left because of the money. Yours left because she just couldn't stand the sight of you."

"[last words before he gets shot three times in the chest by John Kimble, killing him instantly] The boy... is mine! HE'S MY BOY! You get your own goddamn family!"

"Where's my grandson?"

"[last words before she gets knocked unconscious with a baseball bat by Phoebe O'Hara and arrested for attempted murder of John Kimble] That's where you're going, you son of a bitch!"

"[to Kimble] Mrs. Hagley is a lot better than you."

"An undercover cop in a class by himself."

"Go ahead, you tell him you didn't do your homework."

"He's the toughest undercover cop in LA. If you're bad he'll know it. If you're hiding something he'll find out. If you cheat he can tell. Now..."

"It's a jungle gym out there."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger - Police Detective John Kimble"

"Penelope Ann Miller - Joyce Palmieri, Dominic's adoptive mother/Rachel Crisp, Cullen Jr's birth mother"

"Pamela Reed - Police Detective Phoebe O'Hara, John's partner"

"Linda Hunt - Miss Ingrid Schlowski"

"Richard Tyson - Cullen Crisp, Cullen Jr's biological father"

"Carroll Baker - Eleanor Crisp, Cullen Jr's biological grandmother"

"Cathy Moriarty - Jillian, Sylvester's mother"

"Christian and Joseph Cousins - Dominic Palmieri/Cullen Crisp, Jr."

"Tom Kurlander - Danny, Crisp's informant/victim"

"Alix Koromzay - Cindy, Danny's friend"

"Justin Page - Zach Sullivan"

"Jayne Brook - Mrs. Sullivan, Zach's mother"

"Peter Rakow - Joshua"

"Sarah Rose Karr - Emma"

"Marissa Rosen - Samantha"

"Ben McCreary - Lowell"

"Miko Hughes - Joseph"

"Robert Cave - John"

"Ben Diskin - Sylvester"

"Tameka Runnels - Keisha"

"Medha Garg - Latiana"

"Brian Wagner - William"

"John Graas - Kevin"

"Jimmy Darrin Jackson III - Sedgewinn"

"Ian Baumer - Sam"

"Amy Wald - Sarah"

"Tiffany Mataras - Tina, Rina's twin sister"

"Krystle Mataras - Rina, Tina’s twin sister"

"James Chance - Matthew"

"Adam Wylie - Larry"

"Nicole Nagorsky - Heather"

"Ross Malinger - Harvey"

"Amber Reaves - Mary"

"Odette Yustman - Rosa"

"Tina Hart - Dorothy"

"Emily Ann Lloyd - Jennifer"

"Haley Urman - Courtney"

"Bethany Allyn - Catherine"

"Zachary Marsh - Nick"

"Anthony Wong - Tom"

"Remone Bradley - Erwin"

"You know, I never knew what love was until I met your mother. And by then it was too late."

"If I have to wear a tux, she has to wear a bra."

"I said you look like a man in need of a coke."

"[on the phone] The lad doesn't say much, and when he does, he finds just the right words to crush my soul. Of course I'm crazy about him."

"You should write these kiss-offs down. How to crush a woman's soul in ten words or less. That was ten, wasn't it? [counting] You're-terrific-Sensational-really-but-I'm-not-right-for-you. Yep. Ten."

"I should be alone. Alone in hell. That's where I am."

"If romance is a mystery, there's only one way to figure it out."

"The comedy with a twist."

"The sexy comedy with a twist."

"Gillian Anderson - Meredith"

"Ellen Burstyn - Mildred"

"Sean Connery - Paul"

"Anthony Edwards - Roger"

"Angelina Jolie - Joan"

"Jay Mohr - Mark"

"Ryan Phillippe - Keenan"

"Dennis Quaid - Hugh"

"Gena Rowlands - Hannah"

"Jon Stewart - Trent"

"Madeleine Stowe - Gracie"

"Look, I really do have to go find my duck."

"You're not going to kill my duck are ya?"

"I'm glad you're here. It makes me feel like I am too."

"Why is there a duck?"

"My father always say " Two kind of people in this world. We other kind." — Kind kind."

"Los Angeles is a desert."

"That's it. She's dead. She's been dead a long fucking time and nobody gives a shit but you."

"You're not gonna kill me. You don't have it in you."

"[holding a picture of Welles' wife and daughter] What I could do with faces like these on film. On second thought, why would I need their faces?"

"If there was no honor among perverts and pornographers, the whole fucking business would fall apart."

"[dying from a gunshot wound to the neck] This is wrong, something's wrong. Oh, God, not like this. I'm supposed to have something more cinematic. Kill them, Machine... kill them all. [dies]"

"[after removing his mask for the first time] What'd you expect? A monster?"

"You know the best part of killing someone? The look on their face. It's that look. Not when they're threatened. Not when you hurt them. Not even when they see the knife. It's when they feel the knife go in. That's it. It's surprise. They just can't believe it's really happening to them. She had that look, the girl, when she knew it wasn't just porno."

"I wasn't beaten. I wasn't molested. Mommy didn't abuse me. Daddy never raped me. I'm only what I am. And that's all there is to it! There's no mystery. Things I do, I do them because I like them! Because I want to!"

"[watching a video of Machine torturing a woman] Oh, he's a lover, man... definitely loves what he does for a living."

"I can hook you up, though. You name the vice I name the price."

"[On selling porn] I don't buy it. I don't endorse it. I just point the way."

"He's a producer-slash-director-slash weirdo. He's like the Jim Jarmusch of S & M."

"So you got a wife and a daughter and a nice little yellow house and a dog named 'Shep'. What the hell are you doing here?"

"There's things that you're gonna see that, that you can't unsee. They get in your head and they stay there."

"Hey! It's like a gas station, you pay before you pump!"

"Dance with the devil, the devil don’t change. The devil changes you."

"If someone never saw or sold a snuff film, they shouldn't give a damn what I ask about it, if they have they got a right to be nervous."

"I'll never get tired of hurting you, Eddie!"

"Can you tell me if you had to make a choice... if you were forced to choose... between imagining her out there somewhere living a good life... being happy... but you don't know... you never find out... or the worst being true... her being gone... but you know... you finally know what's happened to her."

"Hello, Machine! Love your work!"

"Why do you think people like the Christians hire people like me? To invite us to their dinner parties? It's our job to clean up the mess. To wipe their royal asses."

"You know the only difference between you and me? I will survive this and profit by it, whereas you, you will not."

"You can't prepare for where the truth will take you."

"You are never prepared for the truth."

"Be careful when you kill a monster, that you don't become one yourself."

"Some doors should never be opened."

"Nicolas Cage - Tom Welles"

"Joaquin Phoenix - Max California"

"James Gandolfini - Eddie Poole"

"Peter Stormare - Dino Velvet"

"Anthony Heald - Daniel Longdale"

"Chris Bauer - George Higgins/Machine"

"Catherine Keener - Amy Welles"

"[pointing out the blazing department store and melting bus to Roark] All right, the bus is just deflecting this, OK? It's coming back around, it's obviously got in the store, and we are dealing with very determined stuff here!"

"Moses couldn't reroute this shit, it's everywhere!"

"The Coast Is Toast."

"There are at least 1,500 active volcanoes in the world that we know about...and at least one that we don't."

"Welcome to Los Angeles. It's hotter than hell."

"Tommy Lee Jones - Mike Roark"

"Anne Heche - Dr. Amy Barnes"

"Gaby Hoffman - Kelly Roark"

"Don Cheadle - Emmit Reese"

"Tell me again, Harry. Why did I take this job?"

"Pop quiz, asshole. You have a hair trigger aimed at your head. What do you do? What do you do? Turn around. TURN AROUND!"

"A bomb is made to explode. That's its meaning. Its purpose. Your life is empty because you spend it trying to stop the bomb from becoming. And for who? For what? Do you know what a bomb is, Jack, that doesn't explode? It is a cheap gold watch, buddy."

"[hearing Jack on the subway car roof] Hey, Jack! Is that you? He's so persistent, he always gets his man. Wouldn't be able to interest you in a bribe, would I? I've got, uh, plenty to go around! [he opens the money bag, only for a rigged purple dye pack to burst in his face, ruining the money] My money! YOU BASTARD! [shooting at Jack through the train roof] HOW DOES THAT FEEL?! YOU LIKE THAT, HUH?! YOU LIKE IT, YOU BASTARD?! MY MONEY! [he runs out of bullets] Shit! You! I'm coming for you, Jack! [runs for the subway door, screaming in rage]"

"Keanu Reeves - Officer Jack Traven"

"Dennis Hopper - Howard Payne"

"Sandra Bullock - Annie Porter"

"Joe Morton - Capt. McMahon"

"Jeff Daniels - Det. Harold 'Harry' Temple"

"Alan Ruck - Stephens"

"Glenn Plummer - Jaguar Owner"

"Richard Lineback - Norwood"

"Beth Grant - Helen"

"Hawthorne James - Sam"

"Carlos Carrasco - Ortiz"

"David Kriegel - Terry"

"Water is wet, the sky is blue, women have secrets ... who gives a fuck?"

"This is the '90s. You don't just go around punching people. You have to say something cool first"

"I swear to Christ that if I survive this fucking case I'm gonna dance a jig."

"[giving Jimmy a briefcase full of $6 million] Go buy yourself a new pair of pants."

"Hey Milo, where you callin' from? The bottom of the pool?"

"Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You’re gonna lose. Smile, you fuck!"

"The truth is a beautiful thing."

"I figure you gotta be the dumbest guy in the world, Joe. You're trying the save the life of the man who ruined your career, and avenge the death of the guy that fucked your wife."

"[to himself] Okay, what would Joe do at a time like this? He'd shoot everybody and smoke some cigarettes."

"[Jimmy has just survived being thrown off an overpass and is now trying to calm startled motorists] It's okay. It's okay, folks. It's okay. It's okay. Thank you. Thank you. Danger is my middle name. Don't try this at home, folks. I'm a trained professional. There's me, and there's Super Dave.[Passes out]"

"If you go any faster we're gonna travel back through time."

"[Before shooting a cop, "Good morning gentlemen, is there a problem?"] Yes, officer, as a matter of fact there is a problem, apparently there are too many bullets in this gun."

"Naughty boy, Joseph... You just killed a police officer."

"I am the bad guy."

"Excuse me, but did any of you stupid shits bother to frisk this FUCK?!"

"[Threatening Joe with his knife] You think you are so fucking cool, don't you? You think you are so fucking cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain..."

"You back off Joseph... Or I'm gonna show your daughter what a hot date I am..."

"Push this vile, fuck off the road man!"

"Darian Hallenbeck: (to Jimmy) What the hell is that number on the back of your head? What is that, like a license plate in case someone tries to steal it?"

"Sarah Hallenbeck: Call your shrink, Joe! Call him and tell him that you're fucking losing it!"

"Billy Cole: Ain't life a bitch?"

"Inspector: This is a police matter, you dumb son of a bitch! And I'm sick and tired of sweeping up your dead bodies! Now the next time I see your ugly mug...I'm gonna put a bullet in it! You got it?"

"The goal is to survive."

"They're two fallen heroes up against the gambling syndicate in pro sports."

"Everyone had counted them out. But they're about to get back in the game."

"Bruce Willis - Joseph Cornelius Hallenbeck"

"Damon Wayans - James Alexander Dix"

"Chelsea Field - Sarah Hallenbeck"

"Danielle Harris - Darian Hallenbeck"

"Taylor Negron - Milo"

"Badja Djola - Alley Thug"

"Billy Blanks - Billy Cole"

"[After Brian talks about plans to date Mia] You break her heart, I'll break your neck."

"[Talking to Brian at Dom's garage] I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bullshit. For those ten seconds or less, I'm free."

"[After Brian loses his Eclipse] You almost had me? You never had me! You never had your car! [crowd heckles] Granny shiftin', not double clutchin' like you should. You're lucky that hundred shot of NOS didn't blow the welds on the intake! You almost had me? Now, me and the mad scientist got to rip apart the block... and replace the piston rings you fried! Ask any racer, any real racer; It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile, winning is winning."

"[looks at women hitting on Dom] I smell [sniffs] skanks. Why don't you girls just pack it up before I leave tread marks on your face?"

"Paul Walker – Brian O'Conner/Brian Earl Spilner."

"Vin Diesel – Dominic Toretto"

"Michelle Rodriguez – Letty Ortiz"

"Jordana Brewster – Mia Toretto"

"You ever have that dream, the one where you did something... you can't know why, but you can never go back?"

"[On the phone with Johnny Truelove] No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I'm gonna hunt you down. I'm gonna hunt you down and then I'm gonna slit your throat and then I'm gonna cut you open and then I'M GONNA EAT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HEART! YOU BETTER PRAY, JOHNNY YOU BETTER FUCKING PRAY THAT THE COPS FIND YOU BEFORE I DO! GET ON YOUR COCKSUCKING KNEES AND PRAY! [Pause] HELLO? HELLO?!"

"Jesus. First you give me mouth, now you're giving me fucking tears. Do me a favor, Susan: have a period or something."

"[After breaking Jake's window with a rock] 97 miles an hour muthafucker!"

"Am I the only fucking person who thinks this is fucking wrong?"

"[First lines of film] You wanna know what this is all about? You can say its about drugs or guns or disaffected youth, or whatever you like. But this whole thing is about parenting. It's about taking care of your children. You take care of yours, I take care of mine."

"A drug dealer? No. Did he sell a little weed? Yeah."

"You've fucked up your life so bad! And the only way you're gonna UNFUCK it, is that you come clean now, Johnny, YOU COME CLEAN NOW!"

"They have their own rules in the drug world. They killed my son for twelve-hundred dollars. [Pause] They said there's a reason for everything. Well if God's got a purpose for me, he better get the fuck down and show me, cause I don't see it!"

"How did it ever go so far?"

"How did a crime with this many witnesses go so far?"

"Inspired by true events."

"One crime. 3 days. 38 witnesses."

"Emile Hirsch - Johnny Truelove"

"Justin Timberlake - Frankie "Nuts" Ballenbacher"

"Ben Foster - Jake Mazursky"

"Shawn Hatosy - Elvis Schmidt"

"Anton Yelchin - Zack Mazursky"

"Sharon Stone - Olivia Mazursky"

"Bruce Willis - Sonny Truelove"

"Chris Marquette - Keith Stratten"

"Dominique Swain - Susan Hartunian"

"Alex Solowitz - Bobby "911" Kaye:"

"Fernando Vargas - Tiko "TKO" Martinez"

"Olivia Wilde - Angela Holden"

"Amanda Seyfried - Julie Beckley"

"Vincent Kartheiser - Pick Giaimo"

"Lukas Haas - Buzz Fecske"

"Heather Wahlquist - Wanda Haynes"

"Harry Dean Stanton - Cosmo Gadabeeti"

"David Thornton - Butch Mazursky"

"Charity Shea - Sabrina Pope"

"Holt McCallany - Detective Tom Finnegan"

"Amber Heard - Alma"

"You know, if it wasn't 7:30 in the morning, I would have a drink."

"Earthquakes bring out the worst in some people."

"An event..."

"When the big one finally hits L.A."

"Charlton Heston – Stewart Graff"

"Ava Gardner – Remy Royce-Graff"

"George Kennedy – Sgt. Lew Slade"

"Lorne Greene – Sam Royce"

"Geneviève Bujold – Denise Marshall"

"Richard Roundtree – Miles Quade"

"Marjoe Gortner – Jody"

"Barry Sullivan – Dr. Willis Stockle"

"Lloyd Nolan – Dr. James Vance"

"Victoria Principal – Rosa Amici"

"Walter Matthau – Drunk"

"[Repeated line] If there's one thing I can't stand seeing, it's Americans fighting Americans."

"[To Betty, before she leaves for the USO.] I don't know what they've told you down at the USO, but you're going to be meeting a lot of strange men. Men in uniform. Boys a long way from home, lonely, desperate. They really have one thing on their minds. Show them a good time."

"[To Gen. Stillwell] Sir, I'd like to say something. We've been through a lot, all of us. We faced the enemy for the first time last night, right in our own backyards. We came together, put all our differences aside and carried on the true spirit of America. I think no matter what happens, what sacrifices we have to face, we can carry forward, like Americans. While we're doing our repairs here, I'm going to hang this wreath on my front door - this symbol of Christmas, this symbol of peace. I just want to remind us all that we're not going to let a bunch of treacherous enemy killjoys ruin our Christmas. [Hangs wreath on door. House falls off cliff]"

"[to Donna] It's big. The biggest one here. You know what else? It's got a lot of range. You know what I mean by range, don't you? I mean, it can stay up for a long time. A very long time. And it's built firm and solid. Because it has to be. Because of its tremendous forward thrust. And when this baby delivers its payload... devastating."

"This isn't the state of California, it's a state of insanity."

"Bombs! I don't hear any bombs! Now they're up there. They came all the way from Asia. Don't you think they'd bring a few bombs along? You can't have an air raid without bombs!"

"[arriving at a movie theater] Ah, Dumbo. Sure be good to get my mind off things for a while."

"[referring to "Wild Bill" Kelso] That is the craziest son of a bitch I've ever seen."

"To Hollywood... and glory!"

"You sneaky little bastards aren't getting doodly shit from me. Except maybe my name, rank, and Social Security number: Wood, Hollis P., Lumberjack, Social Security 106-43-2185."

"You ain't gettin' shit out of me. I've been constipated all week and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it!"

"[after seeing Captain von Kleinschmidt enter] Jesus Palomino, a Nazi! I knew it, you're all in cahoots! Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Heinie Kraut, I fought your kind in the Great War, and we kicked the living shit out of you!"

"[reporting over the radio on a riot at the USO] Ladies and gentlemen, every where I look... soldiers are fighting sailors, sailors are fighting Marines! Directly in front of me, I see a flying blond floozy! Everywhere I look... everywhere, pure pandemonium... pandemonium!"

"PFC Foley: I'll tell you what we're gonna do: we're gonna go home, we're gonna paint the scratches on this tank, we're gonna put the sarge to bed and we're gonna forget this night ever happened!"

"Japanese soldier: [trying to squeeze a large radio into the sub] We've got to figure out how to make these things smaller!"

"Paranoia meets pandemonium."

"As They Roared Into Battle, Only One Thing Was Missing...The Enemy!"

"A Comedy Spectacular!"

"Dan Aykroyd - Motor Sergeant Frank Tree"

"Ned Beatty - Ward Douglas"

"John Belushi - Captain Wild Bill Kelso"

"Lorraine Gary - Joan Douglas"

"Murray Hamilton - Claude Crumn"

"Christopher Lee - Captain Wolfgang Von Kleinschmidt"

"Tim Matheson - Captain Loomis Birkhead"

"Toshiro Mifune - Commander Akiro Mitamura"

"Warren Oates - Colonel "Madman" Maddox"

"Robert Stack - Major General Joseph W. Stilwell"

"Treat Williams - Corporal Chuck Sitarski"

"Nancy Allen - Donna Stratton"

"Bobby Di Cicco - Wally Stephens"

"Eddie Deezen - Herbie Kazlminsky"

"Walter Olkewicz - Private Hinshaw"

"Dianne Kay - Betty Douglas"

"Slim Pickens - Hollis P. Wood"

"Kerry Sherman - USO Girl"

"Wendie Jo Sperber - Maxine Dexheimer"

"John Candy - Private First Class Foley"

"John Voldstad - USO Nerd"

"Perry Lang - Dennis DeSoto"

"Geno Silva - Martinez"

"Patti LuPone - Lydia Hedberg"

"Whitney Rydbeck - Daffy"

"Penny Marshall - Miss Fitzroy"

"Lucinda Dooling - Lucinda"

"Frank McRae - Private Ogden Johnson Jones"

"Steven Mond - Gus Douglas"

"Dub Taylor - Mr. Malcomb"

"Luis Contreras - Zoot Suiter"

"Lionel Stander - Angelo Scioli"

"Michael McKean - Willy"

"Susan Backlinie - Polar Bear Woman"

"David Lander - Joe"

"Joe Flaherty - Sal Stewart / Raoul Lipschitz"

"Don Calfa - Telephone Operator"

"Iggie Wolfington - Meyer Mishkin"

"Lucille Benson - Gas Mama"

"Elisha Cook Jr. - The Patron"

"Hiroshi Shimizu - Lieutenant Ito"

"Rita Taggart - Reporter"

"Maureen Teefy - USO Girl"

"Akio Mitamura - Ashimoto"

"Mickey Rourke - Private Reese"

"Samuel Fuller - Commander Hawkins"

"Audrey Landers - USO Girl"

"John Landis - Mizeraney"

"Dick Miller - Officer Miller"

"Donovan Scott - Kid Sailor"

"Andy Tennant - Babyface"

"Jack Thibeau - Lieutenant Reiner"

"Jerry Hardin - Map Man"

"Robert Houston - Corporal Taylor"

"James Caan - Fighting Sailor (Uncredited)"

"Sydney Lassick - Salesman (Uncredited)"

"Debbie Rothstein - USO Girl, Jitterbugger (Uncredited)"

"[after Aldous sees Sarah Marshall on TV] Didn't I have sex with her once? [Pauses and leans towards the television screen] Yeah, yeah I did."

"I was watching the news one day and I saw footage about, uh, war, and I think it was in Darfur, or Rwanda, or Zimbabwe, or one of 'em, and I thought, 'this isn't right, is it?' And I made some phone calls and it turns out, it isn't."

"[to Aaron]Your brain is full of lollipops, rainbows, and cheese."

"I'm like an African white space Jesus. That's not for me to say though."

"[Jiggling a hooker's breasts] It's better than Christmas!"

"Russell Brand as Aldous Snow, a free-spirited rock star with a faltering career who first appears in Forgetting Sarah Marshall"

"Elisabeth Moss as Daphne Binks, Aaron's girlfriend"

"Rose Byrne as Jackie Q, a scandalous pop star, Aldous's on and off girlfriend and Naples's mother"

"Sean Combs as Sergio Roma, a volatile and aggressive record company owner and Aaron's boss who assigns him to manage Aldous"

"Aziz Ansari as Matty Briggs, one of Aaron's co-workers"

"Nick Kroll as Kevin McLean, one of Aaron's co-workers"

"Ellie Kemper as one of Aaron's co-workers"

"Kali Hawk as Kali Coleman, one of Aaron's co-workers"

"Jake Johnson as Jazz Man, one of Aaron's co-workers"

"Colm Meaney as Jonathan Snow, Aldous's father"

"The state is so lame, they paid for the game."

"Edward James Olmos - Montoya Santana"

"William Forsythe - J.D."

"Pepe Serna - Mundo"

"Sal Lopez - Pedro Santana"

"Dyana Ortelli - Yolanda"

"Vira Montes - Esperanza Santana"

"Danny De La Paz - Puppet"

"Daniel Villarreal - Little Puppet"

"Jacob Vargas - Paulito"

"Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa - El Japo"

"New Model. Original Parts."

"Vin Diesel - Dominic Toretto"

"Paul Walker - Brian O'Conner"

"Michelle Rodriguez - Leticia "Letty" Ortiz"

"Jordana Brewster - Mia Toretto"

"John Ortiz - Arturo Braga / Ramon Campos"

"Laz Alonso - Fenix Calderon"

"Gal Gadot - Gisele Yashar"

"Sung Kang - Han Seoul-Oh"

"Tego Calderón - Leo Tego"

"Don Omar - Rico Santos"

"Jack Conley - Penning"

"Shea Whigham - Michael Stasiak"

"Liza Lapira - Sophie Trinh"

"Mirtha Michelle - Cara Mirtha"

"Greg Cipes - Dwight Mueller"

"Ron Yuan - David Park"

"[to Jimmy over his anger at his "He's engaged!" tagline during the Hollywood Television Showcase performance] I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you - kisses that I thought were special because of your lips and your smile and all your color and life. I used to think that was the real you, when you smiled. But now I know you don't mean any of it. You just save it for all your songs. Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight."

"Tom Hanks - Mr. White"

"Tom Everett Scott - Guy "Shades" Patterson"

"Johnathon Schaech - James "Jimmy" Mattingly II"

"Steve Zahn - Leonard "Lenny" Haise"

"Ethan Embry - "T. B. Player," a.k.a. The Bass Player"

"Liv Tyler - Faye Dolan"

"Charlize Theron - Tina Powers"

"Bill Cobbs - Del Paxton"

"Giovanni Ribisi - Chad"

"Obba Babatundé - Lamarr"

"Alex Rocco - Sol Siler"

"Chris Isaak - Uncle Bob"

"Larry Antonino - Scott "Wolfman" Pell"

"Holmes Osborne - Mr. Patterson"

"Even Cops Dial 911."

"You're either S.W.A.T. or you're not."

"Samuel L. Jackson - Sgt Daniel "Hondo" Harrelson"

"Colin Farrell - Police Officer Third Grade Jim Street"

"Jeremy Renner - former Police Officer Third Grade Brian Gamble"

"Michelle Rodriguez - Police Officer Third Grade Christina "Chris" Sanchez."

"LL Cool J - Police Officer Third Grade Deacon "Deke" Kaye"

"Olivier Martinez - Alexander "Alex" Montel"

"Brian Van Holt - Police Officer Third Grade Michael Boxer"

"Harrison Ford as Detective-Sergeant Joe Gavilan"

"Josh Hartnett as Detective K.C. Calden"

"Bruce Greenwood as Lieutenant Bernard "Bennie" Macko"

"If a huge earthquake happens, who do they rescue first? Actors. They'll get Clooney, Sandra Bullock, me. If there's room, you guys will come."

"Dear God, I'd like to pray for a second. It's me, Jonah Hill...from Moneyball."

"This is no dream! This is really happening! NO!"

"Something, um, not that chill happened last night."

"You will drown in a river of blood. The end of days is here. You will quiver in the shadow of Kingdom Come. Judgement Day is upon you. The Apocalypse is NIGH!"

"I'm gonna titty-fuck you, Seth. [Seth Rogen: DON'T TITTY-FUCK ME!] What are they, big B's or small C's? I'm gonna push your titties together. PUSH 'EM TOGETHER!"

"Welcome to Heaven, motherfuckers."

"Nothing ruins a party like the end of the world"

"Ending Summer 2013"

"James Franco"

"Jonah Hill"

"Seth Rogen"

"Jay Baruchel"

"Danny McBride"

"Craig Robinson"

"Michael Cera"

"Emma Watson"

"Mindy Kaling"

"David Krumholtz"

"Christopher Mintz-Plasse"

"Martin Starr"

"I have the respect of the community, and that makes me proud...So if you can't take pride in your job, remember, there's always work at the post office.."

"Bobby, this ain't the 'Poot Butt League', man...ain't no 'Poot Butts' around here. This is not your average hot dog stand You know what this is? This is 'Winky Dinky Dog.' It sends chills up my spine every time I say it - Winky Dinky Dog! Bobby...say it with me...Winky Dinky Dog! WINKY DINKY DAAWWGG!"

"I believe this movie. A dude could jump off a mountain and not hurt himself, 'cause he did brace himself, and knew something about the levels of gravitivity and polarity."

"Dirty Larry - the movie where the crooks wait for Larry to go in his jacket, pull out a big ass gun. What'd they think he was lookin' for? His American Express card? Damn! We both gave "Dirty Larry" the finger!"

"NAACP spokesman: They'll never play the Rambos until they stop playing the Sambos."

"Uncle Ray: There ain't nothin to it but to do it."

"Sam Ace: I knew exactly what she could do. And she did too. As she walked towards me, I saw that twinkle in her eyes. I knew it was time - to do the nasty. And I like - doin' the nasty. She was a good kisser; but her breath was stinky. But so what? You don't get rid of a Rolls Royce because it has a dent in it. I had never done it before on my desk. I was just glad to be on top. I'd hate to. do the nasty with a stapler up my ass."

"The guy from the Dirty Larry clip: What you say, honky sucker pig-head jive-turkey fool?"

"Tyrone: I didn't like this movie at all. First of all, it was the fact that I couldn't say the title. I get tired of titles I can't pronounce and shit. If you want people to come and see it, a muthafucker got to be able to tell his woman where he's gonna take her."

"Casting Director: Relax! But I need some tension at the same time. But not too relaxed. But don't forget to give me sparkle."

"Jheri Curl: Please! Gimme my activator!"

"Protestor: I think Bobby Taylor is a two-bit goat smellin' spook, obviously from the Coon Repertoire Theater of America. We are out here sweatin' like niggas on the way to an election in Georgia because he chooses to bug his eyes, yank his dick, and pull his raggedy skid marked drawers out the cracka his Black ass! I have nothing else to say about Bobby Taylor!"

"Robert Townsend - Bobby Taylor / Jasper / Speed / Sam Ace / Rambro"

"Anne-Marie Johnson - Lydia / Willie Mae / Hooker"

"Craigus R. Johnson - Stevie Taylor"

"Helen Martin - Bobby's Grandmother"

"Starletta DuPois - Bobby's Mother"

"David McKnight - Uncle Ray"

"Keenen Ivory Wayans - Donald / Jheri Curl"

"Lou B. Washington - Tiny"

"Brad Sanders - Batty Boy"

"John Witherspoon - Mr. Jones"

"Eugene Robert Glazer - Director of Jivetime Jimmy's Revenge / Instructor / Amadeus / Chicago Jones / Dirty Larry"

"Lisa Mende - Casting Director"

"Dom Irrera - Mandrill Man Vacuum"

"I still have me arms!"

"So then that happened..."

"For Alexander, life couldn't get worse. For his family, life couldn't be better."

"Get ready for the best worst day of your life."

"One day can change everything."

"Ed Oxenbould as Alexander Cooper"

"Steve Carell as Ben Cooper, Alexander’s father"

"Jennifer Garner as Kelly Cooper, Alexander’s mother"

"Dylan Minnette as Anthony Cooper, Alexander’s older brother"

"Kerris Dorsey as Emily Cooper, Alexander’s older sister"

"Elise & Zoey Vargas as Trevor Cooper, Alexander’s younger brother"

"Sidney Fullmer as Becky Gibson"

"Bella Thorne as Celia"

"Megan Mullally as Nina"

"Toni Trucks as Steph"

"Donald Glover as Greg"

"Joel Johnstone as Logan"

"Jennifer Coolidge as Ms. Suggs"

"Samantha Logan as Heather"

"Dick Van Dyke as Himself"

"Thunder From Down Under as Themselves"

"Mekai Curtis as Paul, Alexander's friend"

"Nobody understands the cloud."

"Hank: Can I get you anything? Coffee? Finger sandwiches? ...Sliced pineapple?"

"Owner of YouPorn: Not Playboy! Did Hugh send you?"

"A movie about a movie they don't want you to see."

"They did everything but delete it."

"Their privates have just gone public."

"The chase to erase begins."

"Cameron Diaz – Annie Hargrove"

"Jason Segel – Jay Hargrove"

"Rob Corddry – Robbie"

"Ellie Kemper – Tess"

"Rob Lowe – Hank Rosenbaum"

"Nat Faxon – Max"

"Nancy Lenehan – Linda"

"Randall Park – Edward"

"Dave "Gruber" Allen – Mailman"

"Jack Black (uncredited) – the owner of YouPorn"

"Now, you pick out what you want on that menu there. Then you yell it out into that box. Then in 2 minutes, you're scoffing it down, without even getting out of the car."

"Do people like rats here?"

"He heard there was wildlife in L.A. He didn't know how wild."

"Paul Hogan - Michael "Crocodile" Dundee"

"Linda Kozlowski - Sue Charlton"

"Jere Burns - Arnan Rothman"

"Jonathan Banks - Molis Drubnik"

"Alec Wilson - Jacko"

"Gerry Skilton as Nugget O'Cass"

"Steve Rackman - Donk"

"Serge Cockburn - Michael "Mikey" Dundee"

"Aida Turturro - Jean Ferraro"

"Paul Rodriguez - Diego"

"Kaitlin Hopkins - Miss Mathis"

"George Hamilton - the Coffee Colonic Guy"

"Mike Tyson - Mike, the Man Meditating in Park"

"Matt Winston - the limo driver"

"I was just thinking what an interesting concept it is to eliminate the writer from the artistic process. If we could just get rid of these actors and directors, maybe we've got something here."

"This is a red wine glass. Can I have my water in a water glass?"

"[after watching The Bicycle Thief] Great movie, huh? So refreshing to see something like this after all these... cop movies and, you know, things we do. Maybe we'll do a remake of this!"

"Can we talk about something other than Hollywood for a change? We're educated people."

"I like words and letters, but I'm not crazy about complete sentences."

"Malcolm McDowell: Griffin? Griffin! Hi, how are you? Listen: the next time you want to badmouth me, have the courage to do it to my face. You guys are all the same."

"Making movies can be murder."

"Now more than ever!"

"Everything you've heard is true!"

"In Hollywood, it's not who you know, it's who you kill."

"The Best Movie Ever Made!" - Griffin Mill"

"Tim Robbins - Griffin Mill"

"Greta Scacchi - June Gudmundsdottir"

"Fred Ward - Walter Stuckel"

"Whoopi Goldberg - Detective Avery"

"Peter Gallagher - Larry Levy"

"Brion James - Joel Levison"

"Cynthia Stevenson - Bonnie Sherow"

"Vincent D'Onofrio - David Kahane"

"Dean Stockwell - Andy Civella"

"Richard E. Grant - Tom Oakley"

"Sydney Pollack - Dick Mellon"

"Lyle Lovett - Detective DeLongpre"

"Dina Merrill - Celia"

"Gina Gershon - Whitney Gersh"

"Jeremy Piven - Steve Reeves"

"That's L.A. They worship everything and they value nothing."

"[about jazz] It's conflict and it's compromise, and it's just...it's new every time. It's brand new every night. It's very, very exciting! And it's dying. It's dying, Mia. It's dying on the vine. And the world says, "Let it die. It had its time." Well, not on my watch."

"[singing] City of stars, Are you shining just for me? City of stars, There's so much that I can't see. Who knows, Is this the start of something wonderful and new? Or one more dream That I cannot make true?"

"I think you should call it Seb's because no one will come to a place called Chicken on a Stick."

"[singing] She told me a bit of madness is key To give us new colors to see. Who knows where it will lead us? And that's why they need us. So bring on the rebels, The ripples from pebbles, The painters and poets and plays.And here's to the fools Who dream, Crazy as they may seem. Here's to the hearts that break, Here's to the mess We make."

"Keith: How are you gonna be a revolutionary if you're such a traditionalist? You hold onto the past, but jazz is about the future."

"Ryan Gosling - Sebastian Wilder"

"Emma Stone - Mia Dolan"

"John Legend - Keith"

"Rosemarie DeWitt - Laura Wilder"

"J. K. Simmons - Bill"

"Finn Wittrock - Greg Earnest"

"Tom Everett Scott - David"

"Meagen Fay - Mia's Mom"

"Damon Gupton - Harry"

"Jason Fuchs - Carlo"

"Jessica Rothe - Alexis"

"Sonoya Mizuno - Caitlin"

"Callie Hernandez - Tracy"

"Josh Pence - Josh"

"[regarding Apollo Creed] Time beat him. Time, y'know, takes everybody out; it's undefeated."

"That bell don't mean school's out, Donnie. Keep going. That bell means hell."

"One step at a time. One punch at a time. One round at a time."

"Michael B. Jordan - Adonis "Donnie" Johnson Creed"

"Sylvester Stallone - Rocky Balboa"

"Tessa Thompson - Bianca Taylor"

"Phylicia Rashad - Mary Anne Creed"

"Graham McTavish - Tommy Holiday"

"Wood Harris - Tony "Little Duke" Evers"

"Ritchie Coster - Pete Sporino"

"Tone Trump - himself"

"Brian Anthony Wilson - James"

"Your Legacy is More than a Name."

"[reading Bowie's letter to herself, as she walks back to her cabin] "Hello girl. I'm gonna miss you, but I got to do it this way. I'll send for both of you when I can. No matter how long it takes, I got to see that kid. He's lucky. He'll have you to keep him squared around. I love you, Bowie." [turns to look at Bowie's lifeless body on the ground, whispers] I love you."

"Hawkins: [Bowie has just asked Hawkins to arrange a passage to Mexico for Keechie and himself] Son, I'd sure like that money. I'm old, and money's a real comfort to an old man. And maybe I did help you before, but not now. I believe in helping people get what they want, as long as they can pay for it. I've married people 'cause there's a little hope that they'll be happy. But I can't take this money of yours. No, sir. In a way, I'm a thief just the same as you are, but I won't sell you hope when there ain't any."

"Cops or no cops I'm going through!"

"We're in a Jam!"

"Desperate... Hunted... Yet so in love! This is their story... The one the screaming headlines never told!"

"The headlines screamed their crime... but they told only half the story. Would YOU give these kids another chance?"

"WE'RE IN A JAM! You're crazy to stick to me... but I'd rather die than let you go!"

"Cathy O'Donnell - Catherine "Keechie" Mobley"

"Farley Granger - Arthur "Bowie" Bowers"

"Howard Da Silva - Chicamaw "One-Eye" Mobley"

"Jay C. Flippen - Henry "T-Dub" Mansfield"

"Helen Craig - Mattie"

"Will Wright - Mobley"

"William Phipps - Young Farmer"

"Ian Wolfe - Hawkins"

"Harry Harvey - Hagenheimer"

"Marie Bryant - Singer"

"Will Lee - Jeweler"

"James Nolan - Schreiber"

"Charles Meredith - Comm. Hubbell"

"Teddy Infuhr - Alvin"

"Byron Foulger - Lambert"

"Vincent. Recognize their M.O.?"

"Disappeared. No calls to the house. Nothing. He's probably making a move soon, though."

"Scott Plank - Vincent Hanna"

"Alex McArthur - Patrick McLaren"

"Michael Rooker - Detective Bosko"

"Ely Pouget - Lillian Hanna"

"Vincent Guastaferro - Michael Cerrito"

"Victor Rivers - Detective Arriaga"

"Richard Chaves - Detective Lou Casals"

"Laura Harrington - Eady"

"Peter Dobson - Chris Sheherlis"

"Xander Berkeley - Waingro"

"Daniel Baldwin - Detective Bobby Schwartz"

"R. D. Call - Harry Dieter"

"Juan Fernández - Harvey Torena"

"Clarence Gilyard, Jr. - Mustafa Jackson"

"Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa - Hugh Benny"

"I keep having these memories. I see flashes. I think I had a life here, but I can't tell if it's real."

"Higher, further, faster, baby."

"You are just one victim of the Skrull expansion that has threatened our civilization for centuries. Impostors who silently infiltrate, then take over our planets. Horrors that you remember, and so much that you do not."

"Without us, you're only human."

"I spent half my life fighting a shameful war. Now get out of here before you give me any more regrets. Just remember the coordinates, okay? You got to save them without me."

"Higher. Further. Faster."

"Discover what makes a (her)o."

"Everything begins with a (her)o."

"Brie Larson - Carol "Vers" Danvers / Captain Marvel"

"- Nick Fury"

"- Talos / Keller"

"- Maria Rambeau"

"- Minn-Erva"

"Annette Bening - Dr. Wendy Lawson / Mar-Vell and the"

"Jude Law -"

"Chris Evans – Steve Rogers / Captain America"

"Scarlett Johansson – Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow"

"Mark Ruffalo – Bruce Banner / The Hulk"

"– James Rhodes / War Machine"

"[after parachuting with Emma into AT&T Park] It's been a while since I got you to second base."

"The earthquake that they felt was from movement along the fault line in the Central Valley; their end of the fault line has not moved yet. More importantly, people need to know that the shaking is not over, and it's not aftershocks I'm talking about. San Francisco is going to get hit again, and it's going to be a bigger monster this time - our models are predicting a 9.5 or greater. It will be so big, that even though it's happening here in California, you will feel it on the East Coast. [looking directly into the zooming camera] Now I cannot emphasize this enough to the people of San Francisco: You need to get out. And I mean now. And if you can't, you need to find any means possible to drop, cover, and hold on. Because your life is gonna depend on it. God be with you."

"Where will you be, who will you be with, when everything falls apart?"

"Ever have one of THOSE days...? Pray you don't."

"San Andreas. We always knew this day would come."

"Dwayne Johnson - Ray Gaines"

"Carla Gugino - Emma Gaines"

"Alexandra Daddario - Blake Gaines"

"Hugo Johnstone-Burt - Ben Taylor"

"Art Parkinson - Ollie Taylor"

"Ioan Gruffudd - Daniel Riddick"

"Paul Giamatti - Dr. Lawrence Hayes"

"Kylie Minogue - Susan Riddick"

"Will Yun Lee - Dr. Kim Park"

"Alec Utgoff - Alexi"

"Todd Williams - Marcus Crowlings"

"Marissa Neitling - Phoebe"

"Matt Gerald - Harrison Rhodes"

"Colton Haynes - Joby O'Leary"

"The puck stops here! The Mighty Ducks are back."

"Emilio Estevez as Gordon Bombay"

"Michael Tucker as Tibbles"

"Jan Rubeš as Jan"

"Carsten Norgaard as Wolf "The Dentist" Stansson"

"Kathryn Erbe as Michelle McKay"

"Joshua Jackson as Charlie Conway"

"Elden Henson as Fulton Reed"

"Shaun Weiss as Greg Goldberg"

"Brandon Adams as Jesse Hall"

"Vincent Larusso as Adam Banks"

"Marguerite Moreau as Connie Moreau"

"Matt Doherty as Les Averman"

"Kenan Thompson as Russ Tyler"

"Aaron Lohr as Dean Portman"

"Colombe Jacobsen as Julie Gaffney"

"Mike Vitar as Luis Mendoza"

"Ty 'O Neal as Dwayne Robinson"

"Justin Wong as Ken Wu"

"Scott Whyte as Gunnar Stahl"

"I never really came alive for myself; I was only feeding his aliveness."

"[Reading Nicole's letter to Henry] I fell in love with him two seconds after I saw him. And I'll never stop loving him, even though it doesn't make sense anymore."

"People don't accept mothers who drink too much wine and yell at their child and call him an asshole. I get it. I do it too. We can accept an imperfect dad. Let's face it, the idea of a good father was only invented like 30 years ago. Before that, fathers were expected to be silent and absent and unreliable and selfish, and can all say we want them to be different. But on some basic level, we accept them. We love them for their fallibilities, but people absolutely don't accept those same failings in mothers. We don't accept it structurally and we don't accept it spiritually. Because the basis of our Judeo-Christian whatever is Mary, Mother of Jesus, and she's perfect. She's a virgin who gives birth, unwaveringly supports her child and holds his dead body when he's gone. And the dad isn't there. He didn't even do the fuckin'. God is in heaven. God is the father and God didn't show up. So, you have to be perfect, and Charlie can be a fuck up and it doesn't matter. You will always be held to a different, higher standard. And it's fucked up, but that is the way it is."

"Getting divorced with a kid is one of the hardest things to do. It's like a death without a body."

"I want you to know that eventually this'll all be over, and whatever we win or lose, it'll be the two of you having to figure this out together."

"And keep in mind, you'll have to pay for her lawyer. [...] Well, at least part of her. It doesn't make sense, does it? I mean, you're doing this because you love your kid. And in doing so, you're draining money from your kid's education."

"Ted: Criminal lawyers see bad people at their best, divorce lawyers see good people at their worst."

"Frank: Charlie, what you're going through now is going to be horrible, but it will be over. Fuck as many people as you can right now. Women, men. Take what I said seriously."

"Sandra: Even though I am 64 and have a dead gay husband, I manage to get up every day, live my life, and feel pretty good about myself."

"Scarlett Johansson – Nicole Barber"

"- Charlie Barber"

"Laura Dern – Nora Fanshaw"

"Alan Alda – Bert Spitz"

"Ray Liotta – Jay Moratta"

"Azhy Robertson – Henry Barber"

"- Nancy Katz"

"Mark O'Brien – Carter Mitchum"

"- Mary Ann"

"- Mediator"

"- Judge Neil Tilden"

"[deleted scene; visiting Viktor after the Moscow fight] I know how it feels. It may not seem like it now, but you gotta know: You’re more than just one fight. We both are."

"[deleted scene; eulogizing Spider Rico] I'm sad you're gone 'cause you're, like... my last friend from the old days. But I'm glad too, 'cause I know... wherever you're going has gotta be better than where you've been."

"[to Rocky] Because of you, I lose everything. Country. Respect. Wife. You ever see stray dogs in the Ukraine? They go for days with no food. People spit on them, they have nothing. No home. Only will to survive... to fight. I have son. All he knows... [raises his fists] is this. My son will break your boy."

"Michael B. Jordan – Adonis "Donnie" Johnson Creed"

"Sylvester Stallone – Rocky Balboa"

"Tessa Thompson – Bianca Taylor"

"Phylicia Rashad – Mary Anne Creed"

"Dolph Lundgren – Ivan Drago"

"Florian Munteanu – Viktor Drago"

"The Legend Becomes Stronger."

"The Legacy Continues."

"East vs. West"

"Two Coaches. Two Fighters. One Showdown."

"Eat her fucking face off, Martha!"

"[Scott and Kate hold up their weapons to intimidate a bad driver] Wrong couple to fuck with, pal!"

"Are you guys familiar with the cliché, "It's a cliché because it's true? Well, that cliché about clichés being true has never been more true than right now with the cliché, the house always wins.""

"Will Ferrell - Scott Johansen"

"Amy Poehler - Kate Johansen"

"Jason Mantzoukas - Frank Theodorakis"

"Ryan Simpkins - Alex Johansen"

"Nick Kroll - Bob Schaeffer"

"Allison Tolman - Dawn Mayweather"

"Rob Huebel - Police Officer Chandler"

"Michaela Watkins - Raina Theodrakis"

"Jeremy Renner - Tommy Papouli"

"Cedric Yarbrough - Reggie Henderson"

"Rory Scovel - Joe Mayweather"

"Lennon Parham - Martha"

"Andrea Savage - Laura"

"Andy Buckley - Craig"

"Kyle Kinane - Kevin Garvey"

"Steve Zissis - Carl Shackler"

"Sam Richardson - Marty"

"Randall Park - Buckler"

"Jessica St. Clair - Reba"

"Alexandra Daddario - Corsica"

"Jessie Ennis - Rachel"

"Gillian Vigman - Becky"

"Wayne Federman - Chip Dave"

"Sebastian Maniscalco - Stand-Up Comic"

"Linda Porter - Old Lady"

"Ian Roberts - Driver at College Campus"

"A hilarious high-stakes jackpot!"

"[after he spills coffee on his pants, Dylan is asking another employee for a replacement pair] I'm your boss! Give me your pants!"

"I'm emotionally unavailable."

"Are you trying to dig your way to China?"

"I have the perfect body for Photoshop. This [face] gets more angular, these [legs] get longer and this [nose] gets way more Christian."

"Everybody, this is Dylan. He's from L.A. [Everybody boos him] He's the reason I can afford all this beer! [Everybody cheers him]"

"I really have to stop buying into this bullshit Hollywood cliche of true love. [sees posters for "The Ugly Truth" on a wall] Shut up, Katherine Heigl, you stupid, little liar!"

"[repeated line] Still not gay?"

"A work ethic. I love it! That is why this country is still number one. Well, behind Germany and France and Belgium and Japan and China. Thank God for Bangladesh!"

"Taxi Driver: Welcome to New York! Go and fuck a dick!"

"Kayla: Maybe you should care a little bit less about work and a little bit more about the girl you're dating because last time I checked work doesn't reassure you that liking a finger up your ass doesn't make you gay."

"Friendship is a four-letter word."

"Some friends come with a happy ending."

"Justin Timberlake – Dylan Harper"

"Mila Kunis – Jamie Rellis"

"Patricia Clarkson – Lorna, Jamie's mother"

"Jenna Elfman – Annie, Dylan's sister"

"Bryan Greenberg – Parker"

"Nolan Gould – Sam"

"Nolan Gould – Mr. Harper"

"Woody Harrelson – Tommy Bollinger"

"Emma Stone – Kayla"

"Andy Samberg – Quincy"

"Shaun White – himself"

"Dwayne, you can get through college half-assed. Richard, you can get through LIFE half-assed. But I'll guarantee you boys one thing: sure as hell, I'll guarantee you this: you cannot win half-assed!"

"Think, think, think! It's the thinking man's game!"

"You took the purest thing in your life and corrupted it, for what? For what?"

"Boys, the rules don't make much sense. But I believe in the rules. Some of us broke them. I broke them. I can't do this. I can't win like this."

"Y'know, I'll tell you something else. Y'know, someplace, someplace in America right now, there's some 10 year old kid. He's out there on that playground, and he's playin', he's dribbling between his legs, he's goin' left, he's goin' right, he's already above the rim, he's stuffin' it home. You know what's gonna happen to this kid? Five minutes from now, he's gonna be surrounded by agents, corporate sponsors and coaches. Y'know, people like me. Just drooling over this kid because he holds our future employment in his hands. I mean, that's what we've made this game. That's what we've done. Y'know, the best coaching job I ever did, that wasn't tonight. It was last season. Y'know, when we were 14 and 50 and we had a losing season. But goddamnit, those kids, they gave me their hearts! They gave me everything they had! They played up to the maximum of their ability! They gave it everything! And y'know, it wasn't good enough! It wasn't good enough for me, it wasn't good enough for you, it wasn't good enough for anybody! That's pathetic. I mean, that's really pathetic. I've become what I despise. And, y'know, I cheated my profession. Cheated myself. I cheated basketball. There's two words I didn't think'd ever come out of my mouth. I didn't think I'd ever be able to say 'em. [a long pause as he regains his composure] I quit."

"I own you, Pete. You're mine!"

"Victory Doesn't Come Cheap"

"If You're Going To Win At Any Cost, Be Prepared To Pay The Price"

"Nick Nolte - Coach Pete Bell"

"Mary McDonnell - Jenny Bell"

"J. T. Walsh - Happy Kuykendahl"

"Ed O'Neill - Ed Axley"

"Alfre Woodard - Lavada McRae"

"Bob Cousy - Vic Roker"

"Larry Bird - himself"

"Matt Nover - Ricky Roe"

"Shaquille O'Neal - Neon Boudeaux"

"Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway - Butch McRae"

"Anthony C. Hall - Tony"

"Marques Johnson - Mel"

"Robert Wuhl - Marty"

"Cylk Cozart - Slick"

"Jim Beaver - Ricky's Dad"

"Louis Gossett, Jr. - Father Dawkins"

"I'm so glad you're here. We have a lot to talk about. So much to say tonight."

"Each one of us is on a journey and we feel it's important to be on this journey with the people you love."

"It's too big for any of us alone."

"Maybe I wasn't prepared to be here tonight."

"It's not about grief or counseling, or family. It's about fucking denial."

"Something dangerous is going on, and we're all just ignoring it because David brought some good wine!"

"Grief, anger, depression, abuse... it's all just chemical reactions."

"Forgiveness doesn't have to wait. I'm free to forgive myself and so are you. It's a beautiful thing. It really is."

"There is nothing to be afraid of."

"There is no darkness. Just reunion."

"There's a plan for us."

"I'm free. All that useless pain is gone."

"Tonight is the night our faith becomes real."

"Logan Marshall-Green - Will"

"Tammy Blanchard - Eden"

"Michiel Huisman - David"

"Emayatzy Corinealdi - Kira"

"Lindsay Burdge - Sadie"

"Jay Larson - Ben"

"Michelle Krusiec - Gina"

"Jordi Vilasuso - Miguel"

"Mike Doyle - Tommy"

"John Carroll Lynch - Pruitt"

"Karl Yune - Choi"

"Toby Huss - Dr. Joseph"

"Marieh Delfino - Claire"

"You can make yourself cum using only your mind? That's like the one thing my mind can't do."

"Gigi: I lost my virginity in what I thought was a park but... it turned out to be a graveyard, and now the ghost spirits live inside my eggs waiting to be reborn."

"Triple A: I'm incredible at hand-jobs but I also got a fifteen-sixty on the SATs."

"Beanie Feldstein - Molly Davidson"

"Kaitlyn Dever - Amy Antsler"

"Jessica Williams - Miss Fine"

"Lisa Kudrow - Charmaine Antsler"

"Will Forte - Doug Antsler"

"Jason Sudeikis - Principal Jordan Brown"

"Billie Lourd - Gigi"

"Diana Silvers - Hope"

"Skyler Gisondo - Jared"

"Molly Gordon - Annabelle aka "Triple A""

"Noah Galvin - George"

"Austin Crute - Alan"

"Victoria Ruesga - Ryan"

"Eduardo Franco - Theo"

"Nico Hiraga - Tanner"

"Mason Gooding - Nick Howland"

"Mike O'Brien - Pat the Pizza Guy"

"I wouldn't do something like this unless I was desperate."

"Have you seen how out of control this party is?"

"He got a hologram of himself just to give him compliments?"

"No! What the >BLEEP< just happened?"

"There's some crazy, beautiful, weird-ass shit about to go down."

"How about we throw a party here?"

"Looks like we about to throw a house…"

"We can throw the party, have it cleaned, without him even knowing."

"He's eating an apple at a party. Who eats an apple at a party? That's a sign of a madman."

"You handled the decision to go to Miami perfectly."

"Your hairline is perfect. Anyone who says otherwise is just jealous."

"To become a champion, you must think like a champion."

"Party Like Your Life Depends on It."

"Jacob Latimore — Kevin"

"Tosin Cole — Damon"

"Karen Obilom — Venus"

"DC Young Fly — Vic"

"Shakira Ja'nai Paye — Mika"

"Melvin Gregg — Larry"

"Andrew Santino — Peter"

"Allen Maldonado — Kyle"

"Rotimi — Guile"

"Kid Cudi — Himself"

"Mya — Herself"

"LeBron James — Himself"

"Watts Homie Quan — Himself"

"Walter Emanuel Jones — Himself"

"GaTa — Himself"

"Snoop Dogg — Himself"

"Juvenile — Himself"

"Tinashe — Herself"

"Carl Anthony Payne II — Himself"

"Tristan Thompson — Himself"

"Lil Wayne — Himself"

"Odell Beckham Jr. — Himself"

"Mark Cuban — Himself"

"Jamal Olori — Himself"

"Kid 'n Play — Themselves"

"Anthony Davis — Himself"

"Lena Waithe — Herself"

"Chauncey Hit-Boy Hollis — Himself"

"Big Sean — Himself"

"Karrueche Tran — Herself"

"Look, Ed, Tom Beck is the best I've got. If I give him to you, I'll never get him back again. My department will then crumble, crime will run rampant, the city will fall into ruin, rampaging hordes will control the streets, and life as we know it will end."

"[Holds a gun to Detective Beck's chest, revealing that this is merely Masterson's body, hosting the film's eponymous parasite.] I've already shot you once before. I can't tell you how much I'm waiting to do that to you again."

"[I]t's every actress's worst nightmare to see her butt fifty feet tall in a movie theater. I decided that I needed to lose more weight for the role and visited a place called the Lindora Clinic where they put me on a 500-calorie-a-day diet and shot me full of a combination of vitamins and a substance that I would later discover to be pregnant-horse urine. My first day on set I was scheduled to perform the strip scene. The director, Jack Sholder, was not a happy man when he discovered that I'd duped him in regard to my physical attributes. Luckily, I'd already come clean to the wardrobe mistress, who'd set about designing a set of prosthetic breasts that I could wear under a cut-off T-shirt. It was a double win for me, because it meant that I also got to dodge the topless scene that Jack had planned on filming. [...] I attended the premiere of The Hidden and was pleased that my fake boobs looked convincing. Whether the horse piss worked I don't know, but when my butt had its premiere on the big screen, I breathed a sigh of relief; the nightmare had been averted—my alien-possessed ass looked pretty damn good."

"There are a couple of aliens, and the bad one is particularly obstreperous. The creature is a parasite, and I don't mean that figuratively. (It looks like something you might find rooting around in the trash out behind a Lobster Shack.) To get around -- and it likes to get around -- it has to enter the body of a living being, and in this regard it's not too picky. It does have very selective tastes, however, and they run toward rock music, loud, and Ferraris, red if possible. (He's sort of a "Miami Vice" alien.)"

"The Hidden is a textbook example of how a B-movie can transcend its origins and budgetary constraints through craft, imagination, and all-around resourcefulness. Shifting genres almost as often as its villain changes bodies, it's at once an enormously effective thriller, a smart exercise in science fiction, an exciting action movie, and a kinetic dark comedy. [...] With the benefit of 13 years of hindsight, The Hidden's villainous extraterrestrial chameleon emerges as the ultimate '80s consumer run amok: a being of pure desire with a taste for the finer things (it makes a point of stealing only expensive sports cars), that lives for the moment and doesn't care about the consequences of its actions."

"IT'S ONLY HUMAN ON THE OUTSIDE."

"- Agent Lloyd Gallagher/Robert Stone/Alhague"

"- Det. Thomas Beck"

"Richard Brooks - Det. Sanchez"

"- Brenda Lee Van Buren"

"- Jack DeVries"

"- Jonathan P. Miller"

"John McCann - Senator Holt"

"- Lt. John Masterson"

"- Lt. Ed Flynn"

"- Det. Cliff Willis"

"- Agent Stadt"

"- Barbara Beck"

"- Ferrari Salesman"

"Danny Trejo - a prisoner"

"- Carol Miller"

"No matter how busy you ever got you, always found time for me. And I can't believe I'm never going to speak to you again."

"I'm getting us out of here. I promise."

"I had the most beautiful dream. It was a perfect day. And all I could think about was how much I wanted to cut you all open, and then climb inside your bodies, so that we could stay one happy family."

"It's in me. Don't let it take my babies."

"Mommy's with the maggots now."

"Open up and let us in, Kassie. We can be a big happy family again."

"Eeny, meeny, miny, you."

"Mommy loves you to death."

"Come to mommy."

"Lily Sullivan - Beth"

"Alyssa Sutherland - Ellie"

"Morgan Davies - Danny"

"Gabrielle Echols - Bridget"

"Nell Fisher - Kassie"

"Richard Crouchley - Caleb"

"Mirabai Pease - Teresa"

"Anna-Maree Thomas - Jessica"

"Jayden Daniels - Gabriel"

"Billy Reynolds-McCarthy - Jake"

"Tai Wano - Scott"

"In a story so bizarre I can scarcely believe the event I'm reporting, and yet corroborated by at least a dozen eyewitnesses, a white male apparently fell from the sky above downtown Los Angeles today, landed in the middle of a busy intersection, destroying one vehicle and hospitalizing its elderly driver, and then was removed from the scene before emergency personnel could respond. Without a body, the police have yet to piece together the events of a day that can only be described as...implausible. Reports of a second body landing in the Boyle Heights area have yet to be confirmed and are being treated as the bullshit they most likely are."

"[Chico pisses in the wake of a motorboat] Massive homo cunt!"

"[Catches up with Johnny Vang after chase] Did I just drop some change... [grabs Johnny Vang by neck] ...or did I hear a chink?"

"[Upon seeing guys using a shock collar on their dog] You pair of sausage nigels! How do you sleep at night?"

"[Peering into Johnny's cooler] This isn't my fucking pumper! Becomes deeply revulsed] What is that? What kind of sick freak carries around something like this in a box? I am shocked to my fuckin' core. You have got some big problems, motherfucker. [Drops cooler on ground] What the fuck is that?"

"Chev, I'm a certified heart surgeon. Well, I was. Lost my license after I fucked up my ex-wife's vaginal rejuvenation procedure in our basement. That's irrelevant right now. The point is, if you get hold of your heart, I'm reasonably sure I can put it back in for you."

"[To mistress Chocolate backtalking over a favor request] Is Doc Miles gonna have to choke a bitch?"

"[To Poon Dong realizing his honey trapping folly, holds up surgical instruments in surgical gloves] Confucius say, "Karma's a bitch"."

"You my nigga. Can't get no bigger. L.A. Underground, we're like a family, man. We a freak-ass family, but we family, all right? We look out for our own."

"[To Chev] You are my shiny lunch box."

"I know where Johnny Vang go!"

"[To Chev, dry humping him] You need me like Whitney Houston, dude!"

"No fucky sucky for you asshole!"

"You want sticky me? [Starts humping Chev]"

"[Ria catches Chev and Eve embracing at the strip club after gun fight] Who the fuck crack bitch? Take your slutty paws off my handsome!"

"[To his gang hitmen posse] No. We need his ass alive. Chev Chelios. Let's save some bullets, dude."

"[Chico's cohorts throws Chelios unconscious body into vehicle trunk] Fuck you, Chelios!"

"[Hallucinations of blunt force-induced concussion, male voices] Fuck you Chelios! Hey fuck you Chelios! Fuck you Chelios! [Female voice] Fucking fuck your balls Chelios! [Male voices] Yo Chelios, fuck you! Fuck off Chelios! Fuck off Cheli-fucking-os!"

"He treated me like his hot little whore."

"[To Chev, about Venus after getting ejected from vehicle after suffering a seizure attack] Your friend has the gay condition. [Laughs]"

"[Poon Dong is driven around with him all dressed up and trying to get women's attentions, to Asian women] Hey, I got five dollars says you blow me for twenty bucks. Oh, stop. Stop right here. Stop right here. Hey, baby. Hey. Hey, baby. How you doing? I'm doing okay, baby. Yeah? How you doing? What you need? You know what I need. Come on. Come on, Daddy."

"[To Eve] Look, baby. All right, I'm tryin' to be cool to you, but I will drop the hammer. [Holds up hand in a manner implying domestic violence] You want me to drop the hammer, baby? [Gets thrown onto a parked car by Eve of unexplained superhuman strength]"

"I can bet on my grandma's coochie, he's at the horse track!"

"[Referring to Eve while at the pornstar strike] I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back!"

"This is a weird scene; we've got pissed off beaver-hoover. I'm in pursuit."

"Jason Statham as Chev Chelios"

"Amy Smart as Eve Lydon"

"Efren Ramirez as Venus"

"Dwight Yoakam as "Doc" Miles"

"Reno Wilson as Orlando"

"Clifton Collins, Jr. as Jesus "El Hurón" Verona"

"Geri Halliwell as Karen Chelios"

"Art Hsu as Johnny Vang"

"Bai Ling as Ria"

"David Carradine as Poon Dong"

"Corey Haim as Randy"

"Keone Young as Don Kim"

"Joseph Julian Soria as Chico"

"Julanne Chidi Hill as "Dark Chocolate""

"Jose Pablo Cantillo as Ricky Verona"

"Yeva-Genevieve Lavlinski as "Pepper""

"John de Lancie as "Fish" Halman"

"[to the partygoers] Seems I've lost my manners or would anyone here know the difference?"

"[discovering his wife in close proximity to Eddie Harwood] You've got the wrong lipstick on, Mister."

"[sitting with Johnny in a convertible in the hills overlooking Los Angeles] It takes a lot of lights to make a city, doesn't it?"

"I know I've got lots of faults, but being in love with you isn't one of them, is it?"

"Helen Morrison: I take all the drinks I like, any time, any place. I go where I want to with anybody I want. I just happen to be that kind of a girl."

"Leo: Just don't get too complicated, Eddie. When a man gets too complicated, he's unhappy. And when he's unhappy, his luck runs out."

"Tamed by a brunette - framed by a blonde - blamed by the cops!"

"Double dame trouble! Double-barrelled action!"

"Alan Ladd - Johnny Morrison"

"Veronica Lake - Joyce Harwood"

"William Bendix - Buzz Wanchek"

"Howard da Silva - Eddie Harwood"

"Doris Dowling - Helen Morrison"

"Hugh Beaumont - George Copeland"

"Tom Powers - Captain Hendrickson"

"Howard Freeman - Corelli"

"Don Costello - Leo"

"Will Wright - "Dad" Newell"

"Frank Faylen - man recommending motel"

"Walter Sande - Heath"

"I checked the list of people I trust and your name ain't on it."

"Detective Kurlen: [to Haller in crowded elevator] How does someone like you sleep at night with all the scum you represent?"

"Matthew McConaughey - Mickey Haller"

"Marisa Tomei - Maggie McPherson"

"Ryan Phillippe - Louis Roulet"

"William H. Macy - Frank Levin"

"Josh Lucas - Ted Minton"

"John Leguizamo - Val Valenzuela"

"Michael Peña - Jesus Martinez"

"Bob Gunton - Cecil Dobbs"

"Frances Fisher - Mary Windsor"

"Bryan Cranston - Detective Lankford"

"Trace Adkins - Eddie Vogel"

"Laurence Mason - Earl Briggs"

"Margarita Levieva - Reggie Campo"

"Pell James - Lorna"

"Shea Whigham - Corliss"

"Katherine Moennig - Gloria"

"Michael Paré - Detective Kurlen"

"Michaela Conlin - Detective Sobel"

"Mackenzie Aladjem - Hayley Haller"

"Eric Etebari - Charles Talbot"

"[in a commercial for Chef Edison's TV Dinner, dressed as an astronaut] Hi, I'm Chef Edison and when I'm away from home, I still like to catch some of my favorite TV shows. That's why I always bring one of my Chef Edison TV dinners wherever I go. With flavors like, 'Uh, Beavis and Broccoli', N.Y.P.D. Blueberry pie, and M*A*S*H potatoes, there's no reason to be a couch potato at home. Now you can be one anywhere! So sit back on a moon rock and enjoy."

"[that night after seeing his house boarded up] No, what happened? No, I... got evicted. No, tell me this isn't happening! My surfboard, dinosaur, yellow brick road! Where'd it all go? No! Oh, what did I do?"

"Carrot Top as Edison"

"Courtney Thorne-Smith as Natalie"

"Larry Miller as Bradford McMillan"

"Jack Plotnick as Zak"

"Mystro Clark as Ty"

"Glenn Shadix as Larry"

"Estelle Harris as Ms. Krubavitch"

"Raquel Welch as Grace Kosik"

"Jack Warden as Armand McMillan"

"M. Emmet Walsh as Fremont"

"Bill Erwin as Landers"

"Fred Stoller as Toby"

"You tell him, you tell him I'm coming. Tell him I'm fucking coming!"

"Bide your time and everything becomes clear, and you can act accordingly."

"Did you ever dream about a place you never really recall being to before? A place that maybe only exists in your imagination? Some place far away, half remembered when you wake up. When you were there, though, you knew the language. You knew your way around. That was the sixties. [pause] No. It wasn't that either. It was just '66 and early '67. That's all there was."

"What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth? Einstein's cock."

"Why don't they make shows about people's daily lives you'd be interested in watching? You know, like "Sick Old Man" or "Skinny Little Weakling." "Big Fat Guy." Wouldn't you watch a show called "Big Fat Guy"? I'd watch that fucking show."

"I'd tell you to blow it out your ass, but my dick's in the way."

"Excited Guy: [to Valentine] That first Christopher Cross album? Wow, that record really changed my life."

"Vengeance knows no boundaries."

"Tell Him I'm coming"

"Terence Stamp - Wilson"

"Lesley Ann Warren - Elaine"

"Luis Guzmán - Eduardo Roel"

"Barry Newman - Jim Avery"

"Peter Fonda - Terry Valentine"

"Joe Dallesandro - John "Uncle John", The Hitman"

"Nicky Katt - Stacy, The Hitman"

"Amelia Heinle - Adhara"

"Melissa George - Jenny Wilson"

"William Lucking - Warehouse Foreman"

"Steve Heinze - Larry, Valentine's Bodyguard"

"Nancy Lenehan - Lady On Plane"

"Bill Duke - DEA Special Agent-In-Charge"

""Please use other door"."

"I'm still workin' out the small details."

"Great! The Power Corps are midgets."

"History repeats itself. Congratulations, Billy, you just lost us the prize money."

"Scott Wolf as Billy Lee, the younger Lee brother."

"Mark Dacascos as Jimmy Lee, the elder Lee brother."

"Alyssa Milano as Marian Delario"

"Robert Patrick as Victor Guisman / Koga Shuko"

"Julia Nickson as Satori Imada"

"Leon Russom as Chief Delario"

"Kristina Wagner as Linda Lash, Shuko's henchwoman."

"Nils Allen Stewart as Bo Abobo"

"George Hamilton appears as an anchorman."

"Vanna White appears as an anchorwoman."

"Andy Dick appeared as a weatherman who deals with the "fogcast""

"Cory Milano as Marc Delario"

"If I peed on your couch, I would pay someone to come in and steal all of your furniture. I would rather burn down your whole apartment building than tell you... "Hey, Nancy, I peed on your couch last night.""

"Should've been nicer."

"You don't trust me?"

"One life is enough for anyone. But there are so many lives within that life."

"There was a time in my life when it was just a joy to wake up every morning and run to the mirror."

"You were way too drunk. There are rules."

"I think you'll find people will do a lot of things for you. If you ever just want to put down the beer bottle and let them."

"You food truck people think you're so cool. You're not. I can get ice cream at the grocery store."

"I am going to wait on a customer with no pants on. Tell me that isn't the coolest thing ever."