Films set in California

"Note: Bolded line is ranked #15 in AFI's 100 Years...100 Movie Quotes"

"He is afraid. He is alone. He is three million light years from home."

"His adventure on Earth."

"The mystery. The suspense. The adventure. The call... that started it all."

"The story that touched the world!"

"Twenty years ago, one legacy, one touch, one story that touched the world."

"Dee Wallace - Mary Taylor"

"Peter Coyote - Keys, Head Scientist"

"Robert MacNaughton - Michael Taylor"

"Drew Barrymore - Gertie Taylor"

"Henry Thomas - Elliott Taylor"

"K.C. Martel - Greg"

"Sean Frye - Steve"

"C. Thomas Howell - Tyler"

"Erika Eleniak - Pretty Young Girl"

"Pat Welsh - E.T. (voice)"

"w:Anne Lockhart - Nurse"

"I wanted to thank you for bringing E.T. to the White House. We really enjoyed your movie. And there are a number of people in this room who know that everything on that screen is absolutely true."

"In the late 60s, there was a big probability of Satyajit Ray coming down to Hollywood to shoot The Alien based on his own short story which appeared in the then popular Bengali magazine, Sandesh. The film was to be produced by 20th Century Fox and Hollywood was waiting to embrace Ray with open arms. Alas! Due to some dirty politics played by unknown quarters, Ray's Hollywood dream had to be shelved. I have no qualms in admitting that Spielberg's E.T. was influenced by Ray's Alien. Even Sir Richard Attenborough pointed this out to me."

"You're smart. I like you. I'll probably give you a nickname."

"I had a nickname for you! And now I'm not gonna tell you. Okay......... It was Laser."

"No one calls me a retard, you FREAKIN' HOBO!!!!"

"You're going down!"

"You are so awesome, your room is so awesome, your phone is kick-ass, and you know what? I love you."

"You know what, boys? Why don't you just let me take care of it. You treat a hot girl like dirt, and she'll stick to you like mud."

"We have been getting screwed by the system. The system that forces us guys to like girls. All right? We're getting pushed into this. What if we just take the girls out of it? We can have our own system, it's a counter-system. And then, you do things together, you swim, you row, you... boat, you eat, you stink. We can just be guys! You can have sex, you can do it, you know, many guys at a time, but it's not gay."

"Jason Schwartzman - "Cool" Ethan Dulles"

"Devon Sawa - Dave Goodman"

"Jason Segel - Sam Schecter"

"Michael Maronna - Jeff Davis"

"Jaime King - Angela Patton"

"Laura Prepon - Reanna Cass"

"Jim Rash - Head T.A. Philip"

"Retta - Bruna Jackson"

"Leigh Taylor-Young - Valerie Patton, Angela's Mom"

"Sam Anderson - Charles Patton, Angela's Dad"

"Joe Flaherty - Mr.DON Leonard"

"Mamie Van Doren - Mrs. Helen Von Graaf"

"How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? Maybe don't wear a bra next time. No, I was talking to you. No, not her. I don't know her name. What is it? Lanolin. La - Lanolin? Like - like sheep's wool?"

"Mm, I love scotch. I love Scotch. Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch. Here it goes down. Down into my belly. Mm-mm-mm."

"The arsonist has oddly shaped feet."

"Oh, come on. Audrey. I look like hell. I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well, if you were a man, I would punch you. I'd punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league."

"[clears throat] The Human Torch was denied a bank loan."

"Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy, and this is what's happening in your world tonight. A La Jolla man clings to life at a university hospital after being viciously attacked by a pack of wild dogs in an abandoned pool."

"For all of us here at News Center Four, I'm Ron Burgundy. You stay classy, San Diego."

"Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!"

"[upon seeing Veronica Corningstone for the first time] By the beard of Zeus!"

"[to Baxter] Yoo-hoo! [clears throat] Baxter! Papa's home. There he is. There's my little man. You're okay? O - Of course, I met a lady tonight. This one was different. I have to be honest. Quite different. What? I'm lonely? I'm not lonely! I - I'm beloved by everyone in San Diego. Wow. You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. [laughs] You're like a miniature Buddha covered in hair. Come again? You know I don't speak Spanish. In English, please. Huh? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole . . . wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? It's actually - I'm not even mad. That's amazing. [laughs again] I forgive you. What do you say we get you in your PJs and we hit the hay? Huh? Bedtime. Okay, come on. Let's go. Come on."

"[to Brian Fantana] “We've been coming to the same party for 12 years now...and in no way is that depressing.”"

"I know that one day, Veronica and I are gonna get married on top of a mountain. And there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance 'til the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside, and you won't be invited!"

"It's so damn hot . . . milk was a bad choice!"

"By the hymen of Olivia Newton John!"

"Knights of Columbus that hurt!"

"[voiceover, after witnessing the sexism exhibited by the news team] Huh, here we go again. Every station, it's the same. Women ask me how I put up with it. Well, the truth is, I don't really have a choice. This is definitely a man's world. But while they're laughing and grab-assing, I'm chasing down leads and practicing my non-regional diction. Because the only way to win is to be the best. The very best."

"People call me the Bri-man. I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself, and the answer is yes, I have a nickname for my penis. It's called the Octagon. But I also nicknamed my testes. My left one is James Westfall, and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you just might get to meet the whole gang."

"It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good. They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time."

"Champ here. I'm all about havin' fun. You know, get a couple of cocktails in me, start a fire in someone's kitchen. Maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off. Anyway, I've become kind of famous for my signature catchphrase, "Whammy!" As in, "Gene Tenace at the plate . . . and whammy!" Whammy!"

"I woke up this morning on the floor of some Japanese family's rec room, and they would not stop screaming!"

"I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite, and I'm rarely late. I like to eat ice cream, and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 48 and am what some people call "mentally retarded.""

"[from the outtakes] I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava."

"[from the outtakes] I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said. My stomach's itchy."

"[from the outtakes] I pooped a hammer."

"[from the outtakes] I pooped a tape recorder."

"[from the outtakes] I pooped a Cornish game hen. Uh . . . [laughs] Nope."

"[on the phone] Right, but I think my son is just going through a phase. I have no idea where he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. But you and I are mature adults. We've both seen our share of pornographic materials. Oh, you never have? O - Of course you haven't. How stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities. Right, I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye."

"[to Veronica Corningstone] Apparently, my son was on something called acid and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd. You know how kids are!"

"Not so fast, you ingrates! Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials! No mercy!"

"Como éstan, bitches! Spanish language news is here. Tonight's top story: the sewers run red with Burgundy's blood."

"[voiceover] There was a time, a time before cable, when the local anchorman reigned supreme, when people believed everything they heard on TV. This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news. And in San Diego, one anchorman was more man than the rest. His name was Ron Burgundy. He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine, they made Sinatra look like a hobo. In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls."

"[voiceover] When the clock struck six, it meant one thing for Ron Burgundy and his news team: go time."

"Will Ferrell - Ronald Joseph Aaron "Ron" Burgundy"

"Christina Applegate - Veronica Corningstone"

"Paul Rudd - Brian Fantana"

"Steve Carell - Brick Tamland"

"David Koechner - Champion "Champ" Kind"

"Vince Vaughn - Wes Mantooth"

"Fred Willard - Edward "Ed" Harkin"

"Chris Parnell - Garth Holliday"

"Peanut - Baxter"

"Danny Trejo - Bartender"

"Jack Black - Motorcyclist"

"Judd Apatow - News station employee"

"Paul F. Tompkins - Cat show competition host"

"Jay Johnston - Eyewitness News team member"

"Robin Antin - Spanish Language News team member"

"Fred Armisen - Tino"

"Adam McKay - Janitor"

"Tim Robbins - Public News anchor"

"Jimmy Bennett - Tommy"

"Luke Wilson - Frank Vitchard"

"Ben Stiller - Arturo Mendez"

"Seth Rogen - Cameraman"

"Kathryn Hahn - Helen"

"Missi Pyle - Zookeeper"

"Bill Kurtis - Narrator"

"They bring you the news—so you don't have to get it yourself."

"If Ron Burgundy says it, it's the truth!"

"His news is bigger than your news."

"I hate to be predictable, but I don't give a shit!"

"This isn't about cheating, this is about winning! Everyone in favor of winning?"

"Let's not put the "duh" in "dumb"."

"You're a cheer-tator Torrance, and a pain in my ass!"

"Don't play dumb. We're better at it than you!"

"Winning isn't Everything—It's the Only Thing"

"May the best moves win."

"A Comedy About The Crazy Things Girls Do To Be On Top"

"One, Two, Three, CHEER!"

"Kirsten Dunst - Torrance Shipman"

"Eliza Dushku - Missy Pantone"

"Gabrielle Union - Isis"

"Jesse Bradford - Cliff Pantone"

"Clare Kramer - Courtney"

"Nicole Bilderback - Whitney"

"Holmes Osborne - Bruce Shipman (Dad)"

"Sherry Hursey - Christine Shipman (Mom)"

"Ian Roberts - Sparky Polastri"

"In Bay City, when you cross the line, your nuts are mine."

"Stop shooting my car!"

"When I house sit for my sister I don't claim it's my house."

"[After accidentally shooting a horse] Are you OK, little pony?"

"Come on cap, don't drag Hutch into this. It was me, I shot the pony."

"[kid throws a knife and hits Starsky] Ow! Oh, mama! What is your problem?"

"A little word of advice: next time you're watching a place, don't claim that you own it just because you're watching it, OK? I house sit for my sister all the time; it's not like I claim that I own her house, ya know what I mean?"

"That's me in the leather jacket and tight jeans."

"I am not...my MOTHER!!!!"

"It was my mother she always used to say it was too much car for me to handle. I couldn't handle the V8."

"Do it, Do it."

"I've always had this theory about police work. If you can't beat 'em? join 'em! Besides, a lot of cops worry about the wrong thing - crime. Not me though. I'm looking out for numero uno."

"[drunk in Huggy's bar, talking to another customer] Ruin me! He didn't care if he got ruined, that was the whole point of the episode."

"[ducking] That ain't a kid, it's a tiny little man... And he's got knives. Goddamn."

"I don't know. Listen to Jim Croce, play darts... whatever the hell else you white people do."

"It's a '76, won't be out 'til next year. But I know some people who know some people that rob some people."

"I found yo' nine-iron, bitch."

"Look man, this grass is Alabama Creepin' Bent, as opposed to Georgia Creepin' Bent. It's lighter."

"That's for putting hands on Huggy Bear. Nobody touches the Bear, you dig?"

"Look what the wind blew in."

"I believe that was God - the greatest mack of all."

"Coke: it costs money. Planes: they cost money. This yacht, this perm, my kid's braces: it all costs money... Do you think Kitty's free?"

"If this shit wasn't illegal guys, we'd be up for the Nobel Prize."

"Ya know, I believe it was our buddy Bill Shakespeare who said, "To err is human, but to forgive, well that's right on.""

"Goodbye, heroes!"

"Big Earl: Alright guys, I'm not gonna lie to you. This is gonna get weird... 2 dragons."

"Dancin' Rick: This floor is made for dancin', you can tell by the lights."

"They're the man."

"The original partners in crime."

"Tough on crime. Easy on the eye."

"Always on the lookout for a big bust."

"Crimebustin's a joint effort."

"Good Cops. Bad Hair."

"Ben Stiller — Starsky"

"Owen Wilson — Hutch"

"Snoop Dogg — Huggy Bear"

"Vince Vaughn — Reese"

"Fred Williamson — Captain Doby"

"Juliette Lewis — Kitty"

"Jason Bateman — Kevin"

"Amy Smart — Holly"

"Carmen Electra — Stacey"

"George Cheung — Chau"

"Chris Penn — Manetti"

"Molly Sims — Mrs. Feldman"

"Terry Crews — Porter"

"Brande Roderick — Heather"

"Patton Oswalt — Disco DJ"

"Will Ferrell (uncredited) — Big Earl"

"All we need is a voluntary, free-spirited, open-ended program of procreative racial deconstruction. Everybody just gotta keep fuckin' everybody 'til they're all the same color."

"Have a drink, Murphy. Live your life."

"let me hear that dirty word Socialism."

"Un-fucking-believable!"

"So many assholes, so few bullets."

"Why do I wish the music industry and the whole globe would just suck my Dick Tracy?!"

"I am so terrifical, I even have my own toll-free number: 1-800-UNBELIEVABLE."

"What are you two, Neil and Bob? Or is that like what you do?"

"Have a Twinkie, Snapperhead."

"[notices his strat] Hey Zuzu. I found my guitar. I found my guitar. [brings it closer and notices it's scratched] It's all scratched up. It's all scratched up."

"Jazz: Maybe I should be thankful that was a foodless kiss."

"Neil: You couldn't even find a handle on a coffee cup."

"Kojak. Columbo. Dirty Harry. Wimps."

"He's on the money, off the record, and over the top."

"Meet Ford Fairlane. To his clients, he's the world's greatest rock n roll detective. To everyone else, he's just a dick."

"Ford Fairlane, rock 'n roll detective. To clients he's the greatest. To everyone else, he's just a dick."

"Private Detective. Public Offender."

"Andrew Dice Clay- Ford Fairlane"

"Wayne Newton - Julian Grendel"

"Priscilla Presley - Colleen Sutton"

"Lauren Holly - Jazz"

"Gilbert Gottfried - Johnny Crunch"

"Maddie Corman - Zuzu Petals"

"David Patrick Kelly - Sam the Sleaze Bag"

"Brandon Call - The Kid"

"Robert Englund - Smiley"

"Ed O'Neil - Lt. Amos"

"Vince Neil-Bobby Black"

"Morris Day - Don Cleveland"

"Sheila E. - Club singer"

"Lala Sloatman - Sorority Girl (credited as Lala)"

"Kari Wuhrer - Melodi"

"Linda Atkinson - Nona'"

"William Shockley - Punk Gunslinger"

"Mark Zuelke - Punk Gunslinger"

"NO TITTIES! NO TITTIES! NO TITTIES! [to an attractive woman next to him] Not you, me. I’m talking about me. My titties are gone. Your titties are lovely. What’s your name?"

"Ok, fat jokes! You wanna do fat jokes? Alright! Your mother's so fat, the bitch needs Thomas Guide to find her asshole! Alright! Wait, wait, wait, your mother's so fat, after sex I roll over twice, and I'm still on the bitch! Your mother is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck! Reggie's mother's so fat, that the bitch gets her toenails painted at Earl Scheib! Earl Scheib! At Earl Scheib! Reggie's mama is so fat, her blood type is Rocky Road! His mother is so fat, her belt size is Equator. Get it, equator."

"I heard of dreadlocks, but shitlocks?"

"If you give me a moment, I believe I can try to explain. My research is, um... Well, when I started out, I wanted to help people. But I became desperate and selfish. What I did was wrong. Buddy's who I thought the whole world wanted me to be. He's who I thought I wanted to be. And sometimes when you want something so so bad, you do just about anything to get it. But I learned one thing from Buddy. I learned that life isn't about being happy with how much you weigh, but just being happy with yourself. I'm terribly sorry about all of this, I hope I haven't ruined everybody's evening. Please excuse me. I'm sorry."

"The truth is, Carla, I'm a big man. Now I will lose weight, but I'm always gonna be big no matter what I do. So anyone I end up with is just going to have to accept me for who I am. More importantly, I'm going to have to accept myself for who I am."

"Why, thank you very much, I'm fatter-flattered!"

"Grandma Klump: I hope your butt turn into a frog."

"Mother Klump: Don't break gas and destroy our meal."

"Papa Klump: You want your colon cleansed? Fine, I'm gonna clean mine! (breaks wind)"

"Eddie Murphy - Sherman Klump/Buddy Love/Mama Klump/Papa Klump/Grandma Klump/Ernie Klump"

"Jada Pinkett Smith - Carla Purdy"

"John Ales - Jason"

"James Coburn - Harlan Hartley"

"Larry Miller - Dean Richmond"

"Dave Chappelle - Reggie Warrington"

"Jamal Mixon - Ernie "Hercules" Klump Jr."

"Gee, I'm really sorry your mom blew up, Ricky. Doctor says she'll be okay, but she won't be able to eat any spicy foods for awhile."

"She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak imbecile."

"I gotta go, the Christmas tree is on fire. [hangs up the phone.]"

"Two brothers... One speaks no English, the other learned English from watching The Wide World of Sports. So you tell me... Which is better, speaking no English at all, or speaking Howard Cosell?"

"I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I'm no dummy. I know high school girls."

"Greendale is a bodaciously small town, Lane. A fly speck on the map - a rest stop on the way to the ski slope. I can't even get real drugs here!"

"Suicide is never the answer, little trooper."

"The K-12 dude. You make a gnarly run like that and girls will get sterile just looking at you."

"This is pure snow. It's everywhere! Have you any idea what the street value of this mountain is?"

"[giving skiing instructions] Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn."

"I think all you need is a small taste of success, and you will find it suits you."

"Jenny Myer: [ladling an unidentifiable gelatinous substance onto dinner plates] I got the recipe from a magazine. The mail got wet in the rain, so some of the pages ran together, but what I couldn't read I just... improvised with my own little... creative ideas. It's got raisins in it. You like raisins."

"Barney Rubble: [on TV] Hey there, Lane. I know this is a little awkward, me being a cartoon and all, I was just wondering how you'd feel if I took out Beth? [laughs]"

"Tree Trimmer: [After Lane falls into a dump truck when trying to commit suicide off of a bridge] Man, that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that."

"You've blown up your neighbor's mom. Your seven-year-old brother has better luck with women than you do. Your girlfriend has a new boyfriend. Relax, your never "better off dead"."

"Insanity doesn't run in the family, it gallops"

"Teenage life has never been darker...or funnier..."

"I want my two dollars!"

"John Cusack - Lane Myer"

"Curtis Armstrong - Charles de Mar"

"David Ogden Stiers - Al Meyer"

"Kim Darby - Jenny Meyer"

"Demian Slade - Johnny Gasparini"

"Scooter Stevens - Badger Meyer"

"Diane Franklin - Monique Junot"

"Laura Waterbury - Mrs. Smith"

"Daniel Schneider - Ricky Smith"

"Rich Little - Yee Sook Ree, Barney Rubble, Principal on Loudspeaker"

"What do you see right now? You see exactly and only what I choose to show you. That is illusion, Ivy. That is the lie that I tell your eyes. Makin' the magic happen in the moment, in that split second you can see past this motherfucker and find that's all bullshit. I can shape it, I can shift it, I can make it as real as this room. That is why I am valuable here Ivy, and that is why you are not. I am sorry. I love you. I never wanted it to be like this, you know that."

"Hugo, you're looking at me like I just asked you the fucking square root of something. What did you say to Mecklen on the little motherfucking machine?!"

"Are you a colossal fucking idiot?"

"[mimicking Russian accent] A cinammon roll, the roll of the cinammon? That looks like a jizz. Yeah, Eastern European jizz. That looks like some fuckhead shot his load on a $12,000 calf skin jacket. The twist is it's my $12,000 calf skin jacket. Okay so you got the semen. You got the human ejaculate that has been allowed to sink in for seven hours alright, work its way into the fabric fucking fibers."

"Hugo, there isn't a fucking laundry detergent or cleaning product known to man that will get that clean. Some shit, suffice it to say, just don't wash out."

"Do I believe in loyalty?"

"These flowers have wilted. Call the florist."

"And I say this from the bottom of my heart: retire."

"We just gotta keep ourselves together. Stay with me. Stay with me man. Hugo, you with me? You with me baby?"

"We're almost home."

"[last words] Forgive me."

"Oh, you're fucking sick, man. Hey and don't put it up against the water there. Don't even let it rub shoulders with it."

"We're getting robbed here, man. Sixteen hours of staring at Sparraza's house and this guy's got hookers up there fist fighting."

"Put that gun down or I'll fucking drain you."

"You are going to tell me why no call was made to inform us that the Israel situation had been altered. Why I and my partner and friend, who's body is going into a furnace tomorrow, weren't fucking contacted."

"Make it make sense."

"Shitcan the cue card rhetoric and talk to me like a man."

"So there it is. The bond on Buddy Israel expires in eighteen hours, after that it's jump ball."

"For some fucking reason the wise guys love him. They think he's a mystic you know, something special."

"How about the Tremor brothers? Three of them. Same skank mom, different deadbeat dads. They're used for that suicide style, kamikhaze shit. You heard about that dinner club in Cleveland, right? Well the Tremor brothers go rip shit riot on the whole fucking place. Seven dead, twenty-eight wounded. All to get this one fucking guy. Of course in the melee one of them gets shot in the neck passes out, the other gets blowback from a jammed piece is temporarily blinded, the last takes a bullet in the back, can't walk. These are speed freak, neo nazi assholes who read and recite Mein Kampf like it was mother goose, they're meaner than shit, they're dumber than hell. And these motherfuckers will go megaton at the drop of a hat."

"Rip hand to god you've got nothing to worry about. Yeah, I've assembled a team. We're gonna go in and get this guy Israel and everyone is gonna leave the theater grinning."

"Why don't you talk a little louder, Steve? Just keep your fucking voice down."

"Israel's awake. There was apparently a fight with some prostitutes, but he wasn't involved."

"I'm gonna get to Israel before they do."

"[While reaching for his gun] How long have you been working here?...Bill?"

"[Last words] Mortal. Mortal."

"You got the .50. What you trying to shoot a jumbo jet out the sky?"

"These two dudes are just lying in the elevator all shot up. What ever it was, it got way past words."

"Man are these feds fake or for real, Sharice? Please Sharice?"

"[while in a standoff with an enraged Messner.] I didn't kill your man downstairs I found him like that. Whether you believe or not, man that shit ain't even important. We can either work this out and live or we can keep doin' the same shit we been doin'. Now I don't have any problem with you or your bureau so I think you should just roll off and just let us move on."

"Faggot-ass redneck..."

"Darwin: Alright enough grab assin' goddamn it. Get them suits and the car, pitch those three poor fellows in the lake, and y'all find me over at the hotel."

"[Before he is shot to death.] Darwin: I'm really sorry about all that. Shit gets, shit gets wild and crazy and fate just up and fucks ya' for no good reason. You know ha, ha. It's the way of the world the way it's always gonna be. Okay, alright then, peace bro'."

"Darwin:[manipulating Jack Dupree's mouth] I forgive you Darwin."

"Pete: Would you please find your fangs, you fucking coward, and get with this."

"Pete: Put the fucking rabbit down."

"Pete: Well then, quit acting like someone took a shit in your cereal bowl. Reed payed us fifty grand."

"Hollis: If this Israel really is the great white whale of snitches then why are we messing with the mob who are, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they're gonna pour boxes of bullets inta' his ass. What incentive is there to track him on something as smalltime as a fucking skiptrace."

"Hollis: No I'm gonna go to Kentucky and take Fort Knox with a sling shot then I'm gonna go into hell after Hitler."

"Hollis: You're investigating those murders out at the lake? Three men were ambushed and shot, two died and had their bodies dumped in the lake. The other has severe hypothermia, possible dementia, and will likely be a multiple amputee by weeks end if he even fucking lives that long.[[Referring to Darwin what he just did to him.]"

"Hollis: [Before killing Darwin] Fuck this."

"Yes it is, it's filling up your lungs right now. In a moment you are going to asphyxiate, pass out, but you shouldn't be feeling any pain right now."

"Close your eyes, close your eyes. Don't make this face the last thing you'll ever see, because heaven may hold it against you."

"A million-dollar hit could draw some huge flies, and Acosta is pure mercenary. He is known for taking on serious contracts and he certainly is not alone."

"You must understand that if an attempt is made on his life, it will be made by those of the strictest professional caliber. And they are immoral, ruthless, and without restraint. And they must not succeed."

"Will you take that gun out of my spine or engage the safety please?"

"Okay if you like I can take your verbal resignation right here, right now. Do you want to end your career here, Agent Messner. Your call. I understand your feelings right now and I truly am sorry, but we have an obligation that are authorized to abide by regardless of our personal feelings. But now it's time for you to get on jet back to D.C. and make no further inquiry into this matter. Is that understood Agent Messner? Are we clear Agent Messner?"

"Buddy "Aces" Israel — Jeremy Piven"

"Agent Messner — Ryan Reynolds"

"Jack Dupree — Ben Affleck"

"Agent Carruthers — Ray Liotta"

"Lazlo Soot — Tommy Flanagan"

"Georgia Sykes — Alicia Keys"

"Sharice Watters — Taraji P. Henson"

"Darwin Tremor — Chris Pine"

"Lester Tremor — Maury Sterling"

"Jeeves Tremor — Kevin Durand"

""Pistol" Pete Deeks — Peter Berg"

"Hollis Elmore — Martin Henderson"

"Pasquale Acosta — Nestor Carbonell"

"FBI Deputy Director Stanley Locke — Andy Garcia"

"Primo Sparazza — Joseph Ruskin"

"Sir Ivy — Common"

"Rip Reed — Jason Bateman"

"What is this, some sort of dork outreach program?"

"Stalking is illegal in all 50 states."

"I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. You know, except for the whole hooker thing."

"Who the HELL would nominate me?"

"Am I a bet? Am I a FUCKING BET?"

"This is all fascinating, Taylor, but could you skip to the part where you decided to screw me over."

"Sometimes when you open up to people, you let the bad in with the good."

"All you have left is a C-minus GPA with a Wonderbra."

"Give her the right look, the right boyfriend, and bam. In six weeks she's being named prom queen."

"So, Laney, I was wondering if you wanted to... [Laney walks away]... embarrass me horribly in front of all these people."

"It's not about disrespect, it's just gas."

"You didn't really think I'd leave for All-Star Road Rules and still be dating you? Oh, you did? That's so sweet."

"Mackenzie: So who's the lucky rebound skank?"

"Taylor: You didn't think you became popular for real, did you? Oh, you did? That's so sweet."

"Dean: One second, you're Zack Siler, class president, stand-out athlete, all-around bad-ass mamba-jahamba; the next thing you know, you're Zack Siler, bitch-boy."

"Girl: My soul is an island, my car is a Ford."

"Freddie Prinze Jr. — Zack Siler"

"Rachael Leigh Cook — Laney Boggs"

"Matthew Lillard — Brock Hudson"

"Paul Walker — Dean Sampson"

"Jodi Lyn O'Keefe — Taylor Vaughan"

"Kevin Pollak — Wayne Boggs"

"Anna Paquin — Mackenzie Siler"

"Kieran Culkin — Simon Boggs"

"Elden Henson — Jesse Jackson"

"Usher Raymond — Campus DJ"

"Kimberly 'Lil' Kim' Jones — Alex"

"Gabrielle Union — Katie"

"Dulé Hill — Preston"

"Tamara Mello — Chandler"

"I'm an oil man, ladies and gentlemen. I have numerous concerns spread across this state. I have many wells flowing at many thousand barrels per day. I like to think of myself as an oil man. As an oil man, I hope that you'll forgive just good old-fashioned plain speaking. Now, this work that we do is very much a family enterprise. I work side by side with my wonderful son, H. W.—I think one or two of you might have met him already—and I encourage my men to bring their families as well. Of course, it makes for an ever so much more rewarding life. Family means children, and children means education, so wherever we set up camp, education is a necessity, and we're just so happy to take care of that. We'll have to build a wonderful school in Little Boston. These children are the future that we strive for, and so they should have the very best of things. Now, there's something else, and please don't be insulted if I speak about this: bread. Let's talk about bread. Now to my mind, it's an abomination to consider that any man, woman or child in this magnificent country of ours should have to look upon a loaf of bread as a luxury. We're going to dig water wells here, and water wells means irrigation. Irrigations means cultivation. We're going to raise crops here where before it simply wasn't possible. You're going to have more grain than you know what to do with! Bread'll be coming right out of your ears, ma'am. New roads, agriculture, employment, education: these are just a few of the things that we can offer you, and I assure you, ladies and gentlemen, that if we do find oil here—and I think there's a very great chance that we will—this community of yours will not only survive. It will flourish!"

"I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people."

"Oh, Daniel, you've come here and you’ve brought good and wealth, but you have also brought your bad habits as a backslider. You've lusted after women and you have abandoned your child. Your child that you raised, you have abandoned, all because he was sick and you have sinned, so say it now: "I am a sinner.""

"There Will Be Greed. There Will Be Vengeance."

"When Ambition Meets Faith"

"Daniel Day-Lewis - Daniel Plainview"

"Paul Dano - twins Paul Sunday and Eli Sunday"

"Dillon Freasier - H.W. Plainview as a child"

"Russell Harvard - H.W. Plainview as an adult"

"Kevin J. O'Connor (actor) - Henry"

"Ciarán Hinds - Fletcher Hamilton"

"Sydney McCallister - Mary Sunday"

"Colleen Foy - older Mary"

"David Willis - Abel Sunday"

"Hans Howes - William Bandy"

"Paul F. Tompkins - Prescott"

"Jim Downey - Al Rose"

"David Warshofsky - H.M. Tilford"

"Seth Rogen as Dale Denton"

"James Franco as Saul Silver"

"Amber Heard as Angie Anderson"

"Rosie Perez as Officer Carol Brazier"

"Gary Cole as Ted Jones"

"Craig Robinson as Matheson"

"Kevin Corrigan as Budlofsky"

"Danny R. McBride as Red"

"Ed Begley Jr. as Robert Anderson"

"Nora Dunn as Shannon Anderson"

"Bill Hader as Private Miller"

"James Remar as General Bratt"

"Joe Lo Truglio as Mr. Edwards"

"Ken Jeong as Ken"

"Arthur Napiontek as Clark"

"Cleo King as Police Liansion Officer"

"Jonathan Spencer as Scientist"

"Dana Lee as Chung"

"Bobby Lee as Bobby"

"David C. Cook as Chris Gebert"

"Howard S. Lefstein as Mark"

"Connie Sawyer as Faye Belogus"

"David McDivitt as Cop with Mole"

"Mae LaBorde as Mrs. Mendelson (final film role)"

"Kendall Carly Browne as Old Women"

"George Lew as Old Man"

"John Robert Tramutola as Walt"

"Adam Crosby (actor) as Ack"

"Andrew Head as Blake"

"Jeanettea Arentte as Sandra Danby"

"Carlos Aleman as Guy in Car"

"Omar Leyva as Guy in Car 2"

"Sam Carson as Xerox Secretary"

"Jack Kehler as Walter"

"Robert Longstreet as Dr. Terrence"

"Peter Gray Lewis as Peter (Thug 1)"

"Steve Bannos as Jared (Thug 2)"

"Mark Whigham as Thug 3"

"Brian Scannell as Thug 4"

"Eddie Rouse as Lance (Thug 5)"

"[To his father] If you rise up and show that you're not afraid...those people...will no longer have control over your lives."

"[On the School TV] Attention, students, this is Max Keeble speaking. First, I'd like to say to my friends, Megan and Robe, that I, I know that I acted like a jerk, and I'm sorry for ever getting you involved in this. I screwed up, but you guys are my best friends, and that's forever. [Jindrake is walking through the halls] I don't know what else to say, but I'm sorry. [Jindrake stops and backs up to see the TV] Probably doesn't matter to you anymore, but I'm not moving. [Jindrake: [Notices Max on the TV and runs to the office] KEEBLE!] And McGinty and Dobbs. It's me you want, so leave my friends alone. I may have run before, but I am all through running now. You want me, I'll be at the parking lot, 3:00."

"[Jindrake: You've acted like a criminal, so I'm going to treat you like a criminal.] [Jindrake points model cannon at Max] I'm not a criminal. People who do crimes are criminals, like you."

"[To Ms. Dingman] If you're ever in the windy city, [Kisses her hand] look me up."

"[Sees a Coca Cola can rolling on the bus floor] Sweet! A can!"

"[To Max] Plausable Deniability...yeah, did you just make that up?"

"[To McGinty and Dobbs] No more being pushed around! No more being stepped on on! No more...Mr. Not...Nice guy!"

"[Looks at his fingers] I can't feel my fingers."

"[To Megan in class] McGinty says he's gonna pound me every day for the rest of my life."

"Max...where's your Bassoon?"

"[To garbage covered Max] This is a bad Junior High! I can't believed McGinty did that to you!"

"[To Robe in class] Dobbs says I have to give him all my money...[Irritable sigh] forever."

"[Repeated line] CEASE!"

"And now, an announcement from your principal. This is Principal Jindrake. All students will report to the assembly hall during third period for a special presentation. Attendance is mandatory. All must attend. Not attending is prohibited. That is all. Thank you."

"This Thursday, Superintendent Knebworth will be here to inspect the school. And so I am upgrading my policy of zero tolerance to one of...sub-zero tolerance, which is more than zero."

"And now, without any further ado...what's that I hear? The pitter-patter of little feet? Allow me to introduce to you the newest addition to the Curtis Junior High School Cottontails! Three foreign exchange students from Eastern Europe and their names are...unimportant because they're here to lead us to gridiron glory! Why, all they need is a place to play! Students, I give you your new football stadium!"

"I've got my eye on you, Max Keeble. You're on my list."

"You may be under the impression that I encourage horseplay and malarky. I don't encourage it. I ex-courage it. It means the opposite of encourage. Look it up. And so, young man, remember, study rhymes with buddy. Scram."

"I don't care what you want me to do. The smelly goat will never get my car! Ever!"

"I'm closing down the shelter, silly boy!"

"And let me just remind the citizens of Curtis Junior High that we are now T-minus...several hours until the Superintendent Knebworth visit. That is all. Thank you."

"Who?! WHO STARTED THIS?! If the culprit does not step forward THIS INSTANT, SWIFT and HORRIBLE RETRIBUTION awaits EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!"

"[To a young boy in the hallway] Oh, stop smiling! This isn't a Happy Place! [Knocks the boy's books to the ground]"

"Because of yesterday's crimes against the school, instigated by your former classmate, Max Keeble, the following extracurricular activities are now suspended: Art! Music! P.E.! FUN!! Suspended! Discontinued!! DEFUNCT!!"

"[To Max] You're a smart little boy...[leans forward] but so am I."

"[To Max] I'm going to come up with a punishment to you that is so severe that future generations will refer to it as...The Keeble."

"[like Jack Torrance] Heeeeeeeeeeeeere's Jinny!"

"[To Robe] Hello, freak!"

"Keeble, I worked really hard on that display."

"Told you it was gonna happen sooner or later, didn't I? Yes, I did! Yes, I did!"

"[To Robe] It's gonna be a long year for you, slim. I'm gonna pound you every day, and all thanks to your good friend, Keeble. Catch ya round, huh?"

"[As a child, at Max's 4th birthday party] MacGoogles ate Max's daddy!"

"I pound on kids. That's what I do. That's what I do! This can't happen to me. You know what they're calling me out there? The McGoogler!"

"Keeble! Caught your act in the assembly! Looks like you could use some help with managing your portfolio."

"Man, why don't you go get a real job, fool?"

"Man, I thought I told you, their lunch money is mine, vendor."

"[To Megan] Let's just round it off to all your money forever! From here on in, you work for me."

"Alex D. Linz as Max Keeble"

"Larry Miller as Principal Elliot T. Jindrake"

"Jamie Kennedy as The Evil Ice Cream Man"

"Josh Peck as Robe"

"Zena Grey as Megan"

"Robert Carradine as Donald "Don" Keeble"

"Nora Dunn as Lily Keeble"

"Noel Fisher as Troy McGinty"

"Orlando Brown as Dobbs"

"Justin Berfield as Caption writer"

"Brooke Anne Smith as Jenna"

"Tony Hawk as himself (cameo)"

"Lil' Romeo as himself (cameo)"

"Clifton Davis as Superintendent Bobby "Crazy Legs" Knebworth"

"Amy Hill as Ms. Phyliss Rangoon"

"Amber Valletta as Ms. Dingman"

"Dennis Haskins as Mr. Kohls"

"Chely Wright as Mrs. Styles (Homeroom Teacher)"

"Lily (wife)"

"It's The Biggest Entertainment Ever To Rock The Screen With Laughter!"

"If ever this mad, mad, mad, mad world needed "It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world" it's now! (1970 reissue)"

"Everybody who's ever been funny is in it!"

"Spencer Tracy - Captain T. G. Culpepper"

"Milton Berle - J. Russell Finch"

"Dorothy Provine - Emmeline Marcus-Finch, J. Russell's wife"

"Ethel Merman - Mrs. Marcus, Emmeline's mother"

"Dick Shawn - Sylvester Marcus, Emmeline's brother"

"Sid Caesar - Melville Crump"

"Edie Adams - Monica Crump, Melville's wife"

"Jonathan Winters - Lennie Pike"

"Mickey Rooney - Dingy Bell"

"Buddy Hackett - Benjy Benjamin"

"Phil Silvers - Otto Meyer"

"Terry-Thomas - Mr. Hawthorne"

"Jimmy Durante - Smiler Grogan"

"Respect is fine, but actually I've always wanted to be feared."

"Come on, let's go find that spider. And let's find your mom to take care of that spider. Honey, we're in the living room. We need you to kill a spider."

"[after electrocuting a spider] Therapy."

"Milt, why don't you cover the living room. [sighs] Chris, why don't you check out back. And uh Lloyd, take the kitchen. And I'll just uh, I'll oversee the uh, I'll just coordinate the uh, I'll just stay right here."

"[hears a spider in the pipes] The itsy-bitsy spider crawled up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out."

"[while throwing wine at the spider] Not the Chateau!"

"[hunting the spider] God damn it, where are you?!"

"[after killing a spider] Yeah, that's right, I'm bad!"

"[attacking a large group of spiders] Rock and roll!"

"[discovering Dr. Atherton hanging cocooned and covered in spiders] Oh my god...They got the professor!"

"In this first generation, the original male also produced a queen, and together they will construct a primary nest which the queen will guard. But eventually, she will create reproductive offspring of her own. And when that happens, this town is dead... and the next town... and the next town... and the next one, and so on."

"[On seeing the giant web covered in various dead animals] You have been busy. Incredible."

"[stroking the web] Supper's, ready...come and get it [hears a screech and turns too late to see a giant spider leaping onto his neck and screams as it sinks its fangs into his neck]"

"Eight legs, two fangs and an attitude."

"The suspense of Alien! The excitement of Jaws! The fun of Back To The Future!"

"In the 60s, it was The Birds. In the 70s, Jaws. In the 80s, Alien. Now for the 90s, Arachnophobia!"

"Jeff Daniels - Dr. Ross Jennings"

"John Goodman - Delbert McClintock"

"Harley Jane Kozak - Molly Jennings"

"Julian Sands - Dr. James Atherton"

"Brian McNamara - Chris Collins"

"James Handy - Milton Briggs"

"Peter Jason - Henry Beechwood"

"Henry Jones - Dr. Sam Metcalf"

"Roy Brocksmith - Irv Kendall"

"Kathy Kinney - Blaire Kendall"

"Stuart Pankin - Sheriff Lloyd Parsons"

"Frances Bay - Evelyn Metcalf"

"Mary Carver - Margaret Hollins"

"Garette Ratliff Henson - Tommy Jennings"

"Marlene Katz - Shelly Jennings"

"Mark L. Taylor - Jerry Manley"

"Brandy Norwood - Brandy Beechwood"

"[to Barry Kane] Very pretty speech - youthful, passionate, idealistic. Need I remind you that you are the fugitive from justice, not I. I'm a prominent citizen, widely respected. You are an obscure workman wanted for committing an extremely unpopular crime. Now which of us do you think the police will believe?"

"You have all the makings of an outstanding boor."

"You're one of the ardent believers - a good American. Oh, there are millions like you. People who play along, without asking questions. I hate to use the word stupid, but it seems to be the only one that applies. The great masses, the moron millions. Well, there are a few of us unwilling to troop along... a few of us who are clever enough to see that there's much more to be done than just live small complacent lives, a few of us in America who desire a more profitable type of government. When you think about it, Mr. Kane, the competence of totalitarian nations is much higher than ours. They get things done."

"Power, yes... I want that as much as you want your job, or that girl. We all have different tastes as you can see, only I'm willing to back my tastes with the necessary force."

"[to Patricia as they dance at a party full of Nazi sympathizers] Right now, they're probably haggling over the price for us with Murder, Incorporated."

"Pat, this moment belongs to me. No matter what happens, they can never take it away from me. [another dancer cuts in and dances off with Pat]"

"[to Charles Tobin] Why is it that you sneer every time you refer to this country? You've done pretty well here. I don't get it."

"[Philip, a blind man, explains to Patricia why he believes Barry is innocent] Don't you know I can see a great deal farther than you can? I can see intangible things. For example, innocence."

"You'd like to say - IT CAN'T HAPPEN HERE!... but every jolting scene is TRUE!!"

"3000 miles of terror!"

"Priscilla Lane - Patricia 'Pat' Martin"

"Robert Cummings - Barry Kane"

"Otto Kruger - Charles Tobin"

"Alan Baxter - Mr. Freeman"

"Clem Bevans - Neilson"

"Norman Lloyd - Frank Fry"

"[to Laser] I wish you were gay, you'd be much more sensitive."

"I need to say something. It's no big secret your mom and I are in hell right now, and... Bottom line is, marriage is hard. Its really fucking hard. Just two people slogging through the shit, year after year, getting older, changing. Its a fucking marathon, okay? So, sometimes, you know, you're together so long, that you just... You stop seeing the other person. You just see weird projections of your own junk. Instead of talking to each other, you go off the rails and act grubby and make stupid choices, which is what I did. And I feel sick about it because I love you guys, and I love your mom, and that's the truth. Sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most. I don't know why. You know, if I read more Russian novels, then... I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what I did. I hope you'll forgive me eventually. Thank you."

"[to Jules] So, are you straight now?"

"It's hard enough to open your heart in this world. Don't make it harder."

"Annette Bening - Dr. Nicole 'Nic' Allgood"

"Julianne Moore - Jules Allgood"

"Mark Ruffalo - Paul Hatfield"

"Mia Wasikowska - Joni Allgood"

"Josh Hutcherson - Laser Allgood"

"Yaya DaCosta - Tanya"

"[voiceover] It begins here for me on this road. How the whole mess happened, I don't know. But I know it couldn't happen again in a million years. Maybe I coulda stopped it early. But once the trouble was on its way, I was just goin' with it. Mostly, I remember the girl. I - I can't explain it. Sad chick like that. But somethin' changed in me. She got to me. Well that's later, anyway. This is where it begins for me. Right on this road."

"Jazzed-up "beats" on a bust-up bing!"

"Marlon Brando is the only man who can play The Wild One."

"C'mon, baby, let's have a ball!"

"Hot feelings hit terrifying heights in a story that really boils over!"

"Marlon Brando - John "Johnny" Strabler / Narrator"

"Mary Murphy - Kathie Beeker"

"Robert Keith - Police Chief Harry Bleeker"

"Lee Marvin - Chino"

"Jay C. Flippen - Sheriff Stew Singer"

"Peggy Maley - Mildred"

"Hugh Sanders - Charlie Thomas"

"Ray Teal - Frank Bleeker"

"John Brown - Bill Hannegan"

"Will Wright - Art Kleiner"

"Yvonne Doughty - Britches"

"William Vedder - Jimmy"

"Timothy Carey - Vocal Beetles member at fight (uncredited)"

"Angela Stevens - Betty (uncredited)"

"John Doucette - Sage Valley race steward (uncredited)"

"Pat O'Malley - Sawyer (uncredited)"

"Robert Bice - Wilson (uncredited)"

"Jerry Paris - Dextro (uncredited)"

"Alvy Moore - Pidgeon (uncredited)"

"Gill Stratton - Mouse (uncredited)"

"Harry Landers - GoGo (uncredited)"

"Martin Lawrence as FBI Agent Malcolm Turner/Big Momma"

"Nia Long as Sherry Pierce Turner"

"Zachary Levi as Kevin Keneally"

"Mark Moses as Tom Fuller"

"Emily Procter as Leah Fuller"

"Kat Dennings as Molly Fuller"

"Chloë Grace Mortez as Carrie Fuller"

"Marisol Nichols as Liliana Morales"

"Jascha Washington as Trent Pierce Turner"

"It will make you feel VERY funny!"

"Don't miss the only film where the heroes get wiped out in the first five minutes!"

"You'll be rolling in the aisles!"

"DON'T go straight to see this film!"

"Cheech Marin - Pedro De Pacas"

"Tommy Chong - Anthony "Man" Stoner"

"Strother Martin - Arnold Stoner"

"Edie Adams - Tempest Stoner"

"Stacy Keach - Sergeant Stedenko"

"Tom Skerritt - Strawberry"

"David Nelson - a Roxy Theatre doorman"

"Kurt Kaufman - a Roxy Theatre doorman"

"Rodney Bingenheimer - Himself"

"Ellen Barkin (uncredited) - Guitar-playing woman"

"[talking to his plants] Ooh, Oaxaca. Ooh, sensi. How are you, my darling? Oh, God, your buds are getting so big. I have to get you a training bra. You got some lint in your belly button there. There you go. All right. Okay, you guys, be cool."

"Yeah, real funny, man... so funny I forgot to laugh..."

"Hey, scratch my balls, man... anybody scratch my balls!"

"The only way to catch a doper is when you yourself become a smoker. The surest way to make them bleed is when you bust their ass and steal their weed."

"You know we cannot trust our own instincts, now I want you send this down to the analyzer and have it labbed. I'll take care of it."

"[talking to a lizard] You... have beautiful eyes. Yes you do..."

"Would you like to have a hamburger?"

"You're the guy from the hamburger train, right? Yeah, the hambur- [sniffs]"

"The story of two enterprising young men who make an amazing amount of money selling ice cream."

"The High Life Never Tasted So Good!"

"Cheech Marin - Cheech"

"Tommy Chong - Chong "Man""

"Stacy Keach - Sarge Stedanko"

"Paul Reubens - Howie Hamburger Dude"

"Evelyn Guerrero - Donna"

"Peter Jason - Detective Drooler"

"Tim Rossovich - Detective Noodles"

"Timothy Leary - Himself"

"Sandra Bernhard - Girl Nut"

"Tony Cox - Midget Nut (Credited as Joe Anthony Cox)"

"Michael Winslow - Superman Nut"

"Cheryl Smith - Group Blonde #1"

"Linnea Quigley - Group Blonde #2"

"This April, revenge comes online"

"Online, your memories last forever. But so do your mistakes."

"Every. Photo. Comment. Share. Update. Like. Post. Can come back to haunt you."

"Shelley Hennig as Blaire Lily"

"Moses Jacob Storm as Mitch Roussel"

"Renee Olstead as Jess Felton"

"Will Peltz as Adam Sewell"

"Jacob Wysocki as Ken Smith"

"Courtney Halverson as Val Rommel"

"Heather Sossaman as Laura Barns"

"Mickey River as Dank Jimmy"

"Cal Barnes as Rando Pauls"

"Fuck you, you piece of shit."

"Holy shit! Look who got beat with the ugly stick! Is that you, Bob? I can't believe such a teeny weeny little gun could make a big mess out of someone!"

"You're just a big, old, shitbag, ain't you, Bob? You just think of me every time you empty that motherfucking thing, MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

"My dick may not function, but I haven't lost my smile."

"Do you want to get shot a whole bunch of times!?!"

"I'm pissed off and the whole world owes me."

"What are you looking at? Fuck all y'all! Fuck you, chipmunk-face, and your fucking skipper wife!"

"Put your fucking pants down, you fucking cunt!"

"Fucking bitch! I'll fucking kill you for this!"

"People like me, we don't go to the gas chamber."

"You are a dear, Flo. Bring me chicken soup... and a fucking straw."

"Reese Witherspoon as Vanessa Lutz"

"Kiefer Sutherland as Bob Wolverton"

"Amanda Plummer as Ramona Lutz"

"Brooke Shields as Mimi Wolverton"

"Brittany Murphy as Rhonda"

"Alanna Ubach as Mesquita"

"And there goes the Challenger, being chased by the blue, blue meanies on wheels. The vicious traffic squad cars are after our lone driver, the last American hero, the electric centaur, the, the demi-god, the super driver of the golden west! Two nasty Nazi cars are close behind the beautiful lone driver. The police numbers are gettin' closer, closer, closer to our soul hero, in his soul mobile, yeah baby! They about to strike. They gonna get him. Smash him. Rape... the last beautiful free soul on this planet. But, it is written: "If the evil spirit arms the tiger with claws, Brahman provided wings for the dove." Thus spake the super guru."

"It's true, true, true, true, my friends. For, by the latest information, our soul Challenger has just broken the ring of evil the deep blue meanies have so righteously wrought. Get through 'em, baby! Get through 'em!"

"Kowalski, can you hear me? Do you hear me, Kowalski? Now, I know you can hear me, Kowalski. I'm sure you hear me now. This very minute. Now, you listen very carefully. The whole mobile force of the Nevada State Highway Patrol is after you. They waitin' for you to come up for air. Yeah. Now, some people imagine you'll try to get to California through Death Valley. And others bet you'll die there in the desert. These few are just too happy to see you vanish for good out there. But my tape deck is just as jammed with telegrams as my head is jammed with phone calls from people who are wishing you well in your getaway, no matter where it might lead you. I wish I could help you, but I can't. I can't. I don't think anybody can, except for that crazy lucky streak of yours. And now you're gonna need more luck. All of it, perhaps, and badly. You can beat the police, you can beat the road and you can even beat the clock. But you can't beat the desert. Nobody can."

"And today, in a beautiful gesture made by beautiful people, in beautiful downtown Goldfield, this radio station was named KOWalski, in honor of the last American hero, to whom speed means freedom of the soul. The question is not when's he gonna stop, but who is gonna stop him."

"Tighten your seat belt. You never had a trip like this before."

"It's the maximum trip... at maximum speed."

"Watch carefully because everything happens fast. The chase. The desert. The shack. The girl. The roadblock. The end."

"Barry Newman - Kowalski"

"Cleavon Little - Super Soul"

"Dean Jagger - Prospector"

"Victoria Medlin - Vera Thornton"

"Karl Swenson - Sandy McKees"

"Lee Weaver - Jake"

"John Amos - Super Soul's engineer"

"Tom Reese - Sheriff"

"Paul Koslo - Charlie"

"Robert Donner - Collins"

"Owen Bush - Communications officer"

"Bill Drake - KLZ-FM reporter"

"Severn Darden - Rev. J. 'Jessie' Hovah"

"Delaney Bramlett - J. Hovah's singer"

"Bonnie Bramlett - J. Hovah's singer"

"Bekka Bramlett - J. Hovah's baby"

"Rita Coolidge - J. Hovah's singer"

"Patrice Holloway - J. Hovah's singer"

"David Gates - J. Hovah's piano player"

"Anthony James - Male hitchhiker #1 (front seat)"

"Arthur Malet - Male hitchhiker #2 (back seat)"

"Timothy Scott - Angel"

"Gilda Texter - Nude motorcycle rider"

"Charlotte Rampling - Female hitchhiker"

"Zorro, Zorro, Zorro. Can't you get rid of that man?"

"John Carroll - James Vega /and his masked alter ego, Zorro."

"Helen Christian - Joyce Andrews"

"Reed Howes - Phillip Andrews"

"Duncan Renaldo - Renaldo"

"Noah Beery, Sr. - J. A. Marsden"

"Richard Alexander - Brad "El Lobo" Dace"

"Nigel De Brulier - Don Manuel Vega"

"Robert Kortman - Trelliger"

"Jack Ingram - Carter"

"Roger Williams - Manning"

"Edmund Cobb - Larkin"

"Mona Rico - Carmelita"

"Tom London - O'Shea"

"Harry Strang - O'Brien"

"Jerry Frank - Duncan"

"Conditions have changed since you left, Don Diego. Your father resigned. Age, you know! Since then, the peons have become um... more industrious. As to the caballeros. they're encouraged to think of their own affairs. WE take care of the government!"

"Inez Quintero: [after Lolita expresses an interest in love] You have the blood of the Hidalgos in your veins! Keep it cool, my girl, or I'll whisk you off into a convent!"

"Ride With Zorro . . . The Dashing Don Of California's Most Adventurous Era!"

"The Jagged Mark of His Sword Struck Terror to Every Heart - But One!"

"Tyrone Power - Don Diego Vega/Zorro"

"Linda Darnell - Lolita Quintero"

"Basil Rathbone - Captain Esteban Pasquale"

"Gale Sondergaard - Inez Quintero"

"Eugene Pallette - Fray Felipe"

"J. Edward Bromberg - Don Luis Quintero"

"Montagu Love - Don Alejandro Vega"

"Janet Beecher - Senora Isabella Vega"

"George Regas - Sergeant Gonzales"

"Chris-Pin Martin - Turnkey"

"Robert Lowery - Rodrigo"

"Belle Mitchell - Maria"

"John Bleifer - Pedro"

"Frank Puglia - Proprietor"

"Eugene Borden - Officer of the Day"

"Pedro de Cordoba - Don Miguel"

"Guy D'Ennery - Don Jose"

"This experiment... is over."

"You have no right to fuck with my head!"

"Blow it out your ass, Mr. Correctional Officer!"

"It's easy for you to say, 'Oh, I wouldn't have acted that way, but you don't know. That's - that's the truth. You don't know. And now, I know what I'm capable of, and it hurts."

"Billy Crudup - Dr. Philip Zimbardo"

"Michael Angarano - Christopher Archer/"John Wayne" Guard"

"Ezra Miller - Daniel Culp/Prisoner 8612"

"Tye Sheridan - Peter Mitchell/Prisoner 819"

"Thomas Mann - Prisoner 416"

"Miles Heizer - Marshal Lovett"

"Keir Gilchrist - John Lovett"

"Johnny Simmons - Jeff Jansen"

"Moises Arias - Anthony Caroll"

"Olivia Thirlby - Christina Maslach"

"Nelsan Ellis - Jesse Fletcher"

"James Wolk - Mike Pennyl"

"Gaius Charles - Paul Vogel"

"Logan Miller - Jerry"

"James Frecheville - Townshend"

"Ki Hong Lee - Gavin Chan"

"Matt Bennett - Kyle Parker"

"Jack Kilmer - Jim"

"Nicholas Braun - Karl Vandy"

"Brett Davern - Hubbie Whitlow"

"Jesse Carere - Paul"

"Merian Cooper's amazing adventure in the unusual!"

"Ten Terrific Thrills!"

"You See It All Happen!"

"Striking! Startling! Staggering!"

"Terry Moore — Jill Young"

"Ben Johnson — Gregg"

"Robert Armstrong — Max O'Hara"

"Frank McHugh — Windy"

"Douglas Fowley — Jones"

"Denis Green — Crawford"

"Paul Guilfoyle — Smith"

"Nestor Paiva — Brown"

"Regis Toomey — John Young"

"Miss Inch: [reading from index cards] Welcome to Camp Inch, new arrivals. I am your supreme commander here. My name is... [turns to the next card and continues reading] Miss Inch. [frowns, looks back at the previous card in confusion, then re-reads the new one] Oh, yes, Miss Inch."

"Hayley Mills - Susan Evers/Sharon McKendrick"

"Brian Keith - Mitch Evers"

"Maureen O'Hara - Maggie McKendrick"

"Joanna Barnes - Vicky Robinson"

"Charlie Ruggles - Charles McKendrick"

"Cathleen Nesbitt - Louise McKendrick"

"Una Merkel - Verbena"

"Leo G. Carroll - Reverend Dr. Mosby"

"Ruth McDevitt - Miss Abbey Inch"

"Crahan Denton - Hecky"

"Nancy Kulp - Miss Grunecker"

"Maggie (wife)"

"Sharon & Susan (twin daughters)"

"Wondering if you're happy is a great shortcut to just being depressed."

"Men always feel that they have to fix things for women, but they're not doing anything. Some things just can't be fixed. Just be there, somehow that's hard for all of you."

"Whatever you think your life is going to be like, just know, it's not gonna be anything like that."

"Annette Bening - Dorothea Fields"

"Greta Gerwig - Abigail "Abbie" Porter"

"Elle Fanning - Julie Hamlin"

"Lucas Jade Zumann - Jamie Fields"

"Billy Crudup - William"

"Alia Shawkat - Trish"

"Darrell Britt-Gibson - Julian"

"Thea Gill - Abbie's Mother"

"Laura Wiggins - Lynette Winters"

"Nathalie Love - Cindy"

"Waleed Zuaiter - Charlie"

"Alison Elliott - Julie's Mother"

"Finn Roberts - Tim Drammer"

"Kirk Bovill - Dorothea's Dinner Guest"

"You are a prisoner of your values, and you won't be able to deceive us. You know that, don't you?"

"There's no need for you to become emotional. I'm old enough to do things by myself."

"Why should I be experiencing emotion at this moment? What is that word you're thinking? What is empathy?... So, if I have felt pain, I should be able to identify with others who feel pain?"

"Reverend George: They have the look of man... but not the nature of mankind."

"Beware the Children"

"Christopher Reeve — Dr. Alan Chaffee"

"Kirstie Alley — Dr. Susan Verner"

"Thomas Dekker — David McGowan"

"Lindsey Haun — Mara Chaffee"

"Linda Kozlowski — Jill McGowan"

"Michael Paré — Frank McGowan"

"Meredith Salenger — Melanie Roberts"

"Mark Hamill — Reverend George"

"[on the radio] There's something in the fog!"

"[on the radio] I don't know what happened to Antonio Bay tonight. Something came out of the fog and tried to destroy us. In one moment, it vanished. But if this has been anything but a nightmare, and if we don't wake up to find ourselves safe in our beds, it could come again. To the ships at sea who can hear my voice, look across the water, into the darkness. Look for the fog."

"11:55, almost midnight. Enough time for one more story. One more story before 12:00, just to keep us warm. In five minutes, it will be the 21st of April. One hundred years ago on the 21st of April, out in the waters around Spivey Point, a small clipper ship drew toward land. Suddenly, out of the night, the fog rolled in. For a moment, they could see nothing, not a foot in front of them. Then, they saw a light. By God, it was a fire burning on the shore, strong enough to penetrate the swirling mist. They steered a course toward the light. But it was a campfire, like this one. The ship crashed against the rocks, the hull sheared in two, masts snapped like a twig. The wreckage sank, with all the men aboard. At the bottom of the sea, lay the Elizabeth Dane, with her crew, their lungs filled with salt water, their eyes open, staring to the darkness. And above, as suddenly as it come, the fog lifted, receded back across the ocean and never came again. But it is told by the fishermen, and their fathers and grandfathers, that when the fog returns to Antonio Bay, the men at the bottom of the sea, out in the water by Spivey Point will rise up and search for the campfire that led them to their dark, icy death. [bells ring distantly] 12:00, the 21st of April."

"Lock your doors. Bolt your windows. There's something in The Fog!"

"It is night. It is cold. It is coming."

"What you can't see won't hurt you... it'll kill you!"

"100 years ago, it moved across a small town creating a terror no human being should ever live to see again! Now, it has returned."

"When the fog rolls in... the terror begins!"

"Adrienne Barbeau — Stevie Wayne"

"Jamie Lee Curtis — Elizabeth Solley"

"Janet Leigh — Kathy Williams"

"John Houseman — Mr. Machen"

"Tom Atkins — Nick Castle"

"James Canning — Dick Baxter"

"Charles Cyphers — Dan O'Bannon"

"Nancy Loomis — Sandy Fadel"

"Ty Mitchell — Andy Wayne"

"Hal Holbrook — Father Malone"

"John F. Goff — Al Williams"

"George 'Buck' Flower — Tommy Wallace"

"Darwin Joston — Dr. Phibes"

"Rob Bottin — Blake"

"[about the room] We've had our tetanus shots... right?"

"[on observing a snuff movie] I bet this gets the honeymooners in the mood."

"[getting fed up from the noise next door] Why don't you open the door? [continues to knock but no one answers] Want to play some games? I'll play some fucking games with you."

"[pointing to motel room] It's right there in the corner, number 4. You might have to jiggle the handle a little bit to open her up, she's as sticky as an old whore."

"Rules are rules. I don't make them, I'm just the manager."

"Once you've checked in... The terror begins."

"How can you escape...if they can see everything?"

"Kate Beckinsale - Amy Fox"

"Luke Wilson - David Fox"

"Frank Whaley - Mason"

"Ethan Embry - the Mechanic"

"Scott G. Anderson - the Killer"

"Dacre Montgomery - Jason Scott/The Red Ranger"

"Naomi Scott - Kimberly Hart/The Pink Ranger"

"RJ Cyler - Billy Cranston/The Blue Ranger"

"Becky G - Trini/The Yellow Ranger"

"Ludi Lin - Zack/The Black Ranger"

"Bryan Cranston - Zordon"

"Bill Hader - Alpha 5"

"Elizabeth Banks - Rita Repulsa"

"Different things can be sad... it's not all war!"

"People go by the names their parents give them, but they don't believe in God."

"I found when it happened that I really like dry humping more."

"I was on top! Who the fuck is on top their first time!"

"I hate California, I want to go to the east coast. I want to go where culture is like, New York, or Connecticut or New Hampshire."

"The only thing exciting about 2002 is that it's a palindrome."

"Money is not life's report card. Being successful doesn't mean anything in and of itself. It just means that you're successful. But that doesn't mean that you're happy."

"You're not gonna get in a car with a guy that honks, are ya?"

"Hey, I'm like Keith Richards. I'm just happy to be anywhere."

"Julie Steffans: Some people aren't built happy, you know."

"Kyle Scheible: You're gonna have so much unspecial sex in your life."

"Saoirse Ronan – Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson"

"Laurie Metcalf – Marion McPherson"

"Tracy Letts – Larry McPherson"

"Lucas Hedges – Danny O'Neill"

"Timothée Chalamet – Kyle Scheible"

"Beanie Feldstein – Julianne "Julie" Steffans"

"Lois Smith – Sister Sarah Joan"

"Stephen McKinley Henderson – Father Leviatch"

"Odeya Rush – Jenna Walton"

"Jordan Rodrigues – Miguel McPherson"

"Marielle Scott – Shelly Yuhan"

"John Karna – Greg Anrue"

"Jake McDorman – Mr. Bruno"

"Bayne Gibby – Casey Kelly"

"Laura Marano – Diana Greenway"

"Marietta DePrima – Miss Patty"

"Daniel Zovatto – Jonah Ruiz"

"Kristen Cloke – Ms. Steffans"

"Andy Buckley – Uncle Matthew"

"Kathryn Newton – Darlene Bell"

"Myra Turley – Sister Gina"

"Bob Stephenson – Father Walther"

"I know why we're here. A rescue op. Save the dinosaurs from an island that's about to explode. What could go wrong?"

"We hit that town, we call the cavalry to shut this down."

"If I don't make it back, remember that you're the one that made me come here. I'll be alright."

"(to the Stygimoloch) Hey, buddy. You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"[about the Indoraptor] That thing can't leave this building."

"Blue is alive. You raised her."

"Do you remember the first time you saw a dinosaur? First time you see them, it's like... a miracle. You read about them in books, you see the bones in museums but you don't really... believe it. They're like myths. And then you see... the first one alive."

"It was all a lie!"

"These creatures were here before us. And if we're not careful, they're gonna be here after."

"Genetic power has now been unleashed. And of course, that's gonna be catastrophic."

"Welcome to Jurassic World."

"Life finds a way."

"The park is gone."

"Chris Pratt — Owen"

"Bryce Dallas Howard — Claire"

"Rafe Spall — Eli"

"Justice Smith — Franklin"

"Daniella Pineda — Zia"

"James Cromwell — Sir Lockwood"

"Toby Jones — Mr. Eversol"

"Ted Levine — Wheatley"

"B. D. Wong — Dr. Henry Wu"

"Isabella Sermon — Maisie"

"Geraldine Chaplin — Iris"

"Jeff Goldblum — Ian Malcolm"

"[after parachuting with Emma into AT&T Park] It's been a while since I got you to second base."

"The earthquake that they felt was from movement along the fault line in the Central Valley; their end of the fault line has not moved yet. More importantly, people need to know that the shaking is not over, and it's not aftershocks I'm talking about. San Francisco is going to get hit again, and it's going to be a bigger monster this time - our models are predicting a 9.5 or greater. It will be so big, that even though it's happening here in California, you will feel it on the East Coast. [looking directly into the zooming camera] Now I cannot emphasize this enough to the people of San Francisco: You need to get out. And I mean now. And if you can't, you need to find any means possible to drop, cover, and hold on. Because your life is gonna depend on it. God be with you."

"Where will you be, who will you be with, when everything falls apart?"

"Ever have one of THOSE days...? Pray you don't."

"San Andreas. We always knew this day would come."

"Dwayne Johnson - Ray Gaines"

"Carla Gugino - Emma Gaines"

"Alexandra Daddario - Blake Gaines"

"Hugo Johnstone-Burt - Ben Taylor"

"Art Parkinson - Ollie Taylor"

"Ioan Gruffudd - Daniel Riddick"

"Paul Giamatti - Dr. Lawrence Hayes"

"Kylie Minogue - Susan Riddick"

"Will Yun Lee - Dr. Kim Park"

"Alec Utgoff - Alexi"

"Todd Williams - Marcus Crowlings"

"Marissa Neitling - Phoebe"

"Matt Gerald - Harrison Rhodes"

"Colton Haynes - Joby O'Leary"

"Once upon a time, there was a girl and the girl had a shadow. The two were connected, tethered together. When the girl ate, her food was given to her warm and tasty. But when the shadow was hungry, she had to eat rabbit raw and bloody. On Christmas, the girl received wonderful toys; soft and cushy. But the shadow's toys were so sharp and cold they sliced through her hands and fingers when she tried to play with them. The girl met a handsome prince and fell in love. But the shadow at that same time had Abraham. It didn't matter if she loved him or not. He was tethered to the girl's prince after all. Then the girl had her first child, a beautiful baby girl. But the shadow, she gave birth to a little monster! Umbrae was born laughing. The girl had a second child, a boy this time. They had to cut her open and take him from her belly. The shadow had to do it all herself. She named him Pluto, he was born to love fire. So you see, the shadow hated the girl so much for so long...until one day the shadow realized she was being tested by God."

"How it must have been to grow up with a sky. To feel the sun, the wind, the trees. But your people took it for granted. We're human too, you know. Lives. Gave them hands, teeth, and blood. Exactly like you. And yet, it was humans that built this place. I believe they figured out how to make a copy of the body but not the soul. The soul remains one shared by two. They created the Tethered so they could use them to control the ones above. Like puppets. But they failed and they abandoned the Tethered. For generations, the Tethered continued without interactions. They all went mad down here. And then there was us... You remember? We were born special. Fate brought us together that night. I never stopped thinking about you. How things could have been. How you could’ve taken me with you. Years after we met, a miracle of life happened. That's when I saw God. And He showed me my path. You felt it too. The end of our dance. The Tethered saw that I was different. That I would deliver them from this misery. I had found my faith. And I began to prepare. It took years to plan. Everything had to be perfect. I didn't just need to kill you. I needed to make a statement that the whole world would see. It's our time now. Our time up there. And to think, if it weren't for you, I never would've danced at all."

"We Are Our Own Worst Enemy."

"Watch Yourself."

"“Us” highlights the unwitting complicity of even apparently well-meaning and conscientious people in an unjust order that masquerades as natural and immutable but is, in fact, the product of malevolent designs that leave some languishing in the perma-shadows. (Designed by whom? The movie doesn’t name names, but it winks and nods and nudges in a general direction that runs from the sea to the lake.) It dramatizes this world, but with a twist—one that (avoiding spoilers) risks overturning conventional values and sympathies with ecstatic fervor. Suffice it to say that “Us” reserves empathy for its unwitting villains while gleefully deriding their comfortably normal state of obliviousness—and the ordinary absurdities of the world at large."

"Lupita Nyong'o – Adelaide Wilson (née Thomas) / Red"

"Winston Duke – Gabriel "Gabe" Wilson / Abraham"

"Shahadi Wright Joseph – Zora Wilson / Umbrae"

"Evan Alex – Jason Wilson / Pluto"

"Elisabeth Moss – Kitty Tyler / Dahlia"

"Tim Heidecker – Josh Tyler / Tex"

"Cali Sheldon – Becca Tyler / Io"

"Noelle Sheldon – Lindsey Tyler / Nix"

"Yahya Abdul-Mateen II – Russel Thomas / Weyland"

"Anna Diop – Rayne Thomas / Eartha"

"Napiera Groves – Dr. Foster / Amethyst"

"Duke Nicholson – Danny / Tony"

"Kara Hayward – Nancy / Syd"

"Nathan Harrington – Glen / Jack"

"Dustin Ybarra – Troy / Brand"

"Alan Frazier – Ferdie / Jeremiah"

"Lon Gowan – Don / Joseph"

"Jordan Peele – Dying Rabbit / Fun House Narrator"

"Sister Alicia Chadwick: Hello! Right on time."

"Jim Fallon: Sister Chadwick! Thou hasn't been out of my thoughts a minute."

"Chadwick: I hope you're both hungry."

"Fallon: I look forward to thy home cooking."

"Chadwick: Then it will please thee to know that thou shall help with the washing of the dishes to make thee feel that our home is thine."

"[spins Zoey around as she runs up to him] No hugs."

"To the rambunctious kids running around inside the fire station, "This is not a playground!""

"John Cena as Supe"

"Keegan-Michael Key as Mark"

"John Leguizamo as Rodrigo"

"Brianna Hildebrand as Brynn"

"Dennis Haysbert as Commander Richards"

"Judy Greer as Dr. Hicks"

"Tyler Mane as Axe"

"Christian Convery as Will"

"Finley Rose Slater as Zoey"

"Once the pigs tasted blood... No one could control their hunger!!"

"If you go down to the woods today... you're in for a PIG surprise"

"It's Horror! It's Murder! As Daring as Has Ever Been Shown Before!"

"They'll eat anything... So she had the perfect method to dispose of her victims!"

"A mad man... A psycho killer... And mean cannibal pigs... All together in the scariest film you'll ever see!!!"

"WARNING! If the abnormal love of a sex-psycho frightens you...STAY AWAY! ("Lynn Hart, The Strange Love Exorcist" tagline)"

"Lynn Hart was possessed by the demon! Medicine - Psychiatry couldn't help her. She escaped the asylum - taking with her the unholy obscenity raging within her! Together, they killed - and even THE EXORCIST failed her! This one starts in where THE EXORCIST leaves off! ("Lynn Hart, The Strange Love Exorcist" tagline)"

"Toni Lawrence as Lynn Hart."

"Jesse Vint as Sheriff Dan Cole."

"Catherine Ross as Miss Macy. (credited as Katherine Ross)"

"Paul Hickey as Ben Sharp."

"Iris Korn as Annette."

"Walter Barnes as Doctor."

"Erik Holland as Hoagy."

"William Michael as Deputy."

"Jim Antonio as Jess Winter - Man from Hospital."

"Bone Adams as Truck Farmer."

"Larry Hussmann as Gas Attendant."

"Don Skylar as Oil Worker."

"Marc Lawrence as Zambrini."

"I know who you are. You're Gwen Lieber, best-selling author of the Eternity Kiss series. First of which is about to be made into a major motion picture, coming soon to a theatre near you."

"My problem is you glorify vampirism. You make being a vampire look... sexy."

"All right, everybody. According to the blueprints, there's an entrance to the slaughterhouse through a series of underground tunnels which will lead us directly to where the rave is. Now remember, everyone, there will be a lot of civilians around. Toadies, not familiars. Just innocent partygoers who are all there because they think they're gonna have... fun. Because of this, you will be armed with weapons that are non-lethal to anything with a heartbeat. This is a sawed-off, pump action, Soak and Destroy water gun. Patent pending. Turns holy water into holy slaughter. Zoe, you take it. Claus, this is a high-powered UV torch. Tie it around your waist. You'll thank me later."

"All right, everybody, listen up! The party's officially over! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!"

"Edgar, since I know I'll never be able to talk you out of what you're about to do, I can't let you go up against a potential head vampire without giving you this. One of the first books on vampire hunting ever written. It'll hopefully keep you safe. Watch your back. Alan. P.S. If you're still alive on Tuesday, be sure to call Mom. It's her birthday."

"You sure don't look like a cold-blooded, meaner-than-hell, bad-for-nothing vampire killer."

"Well... there's always been an element of eroticism in vampire mythology."

"Edgar! I hope you brought your bathing suit. I thought we should blend in with the other partygoers."

"Oh, I bet you did not see that coming."

"I've brought you Edgar Frog, just like you asked. Now it is your turn. Remember your promise to me. I just don't want to grow old. Sorry."

"Thanks to you. If X had been able to drink my blood during the Blood Moon, my power would've passed to him... and that would've been a shame. I've been the Alpha for a long, long time."

"I'm disappointed in you, Edgar. This is no way to treat your savior."

"A father can't murder his own children. That would be in bad taste. Even an impertinent little wimp like DJ X. I told him, "You can't turn all the cattle into cowboys. You'll wind up with too many cowboys." But he didn't listen. And now, thanks to his damned raves, there are going to be far too many vampires roaming the Earth. That's where you come in."

"Are you ready for a sacrifice?"

"Very creative, Frog. But when it comes to killing, I prefer more traditional methods... like impalement."

"Kirk O'Dale: Is this it? I've been waiting 300 years for a good fight!"

"Corey Feldman – Edgar Frog"

"Casey B. Dolan – Zoe"

"Tanit Phoenix – Gwen Lieber"

"Jamison Newlander – Alan Frog"

"Seb Castang – DJ X"

"Felix Mosse – Peter"

"Stephen Van Niekerk – Lars von Goetz"

"Joe Vaz – Claus"

"Hennie Bosman – Kirk O'Dale"

"Tanya van Graan – Lily"

"Ingrida Kraus – Vixen"

"Sean Michael – Ira Pinkus"

"Matthew Dylan Roberts – Congressman Blake"

"Porteus Xandau Steenkamp – Johnny Trash"

"Corey Haim – Sam Emerson (clips from the first film)"

"Let's get something straight. I let you get away with that sham the first time because I understand what it's like to lose a family member to the other side. If it happens again, you're gonna end up on the wrong side of the stake, are we clear?"

"Your sister's become a member of the undead. A night stalker. A bloodsucker. Nosferatu. Count Dracula. Your sister's a suck monkey."

"Vampires don't just turn into stone and then explode. They have to be pierced through the heart with a sharp metallic object."

"This is completely unacceptable. I know exactly what you've been up to. I am telling you, it has to stop right now. I will not stand by and watch two young people that I care about fall into this trap, you hear me? So if I so much as see one seed or catch one whiff of reefer, and believe me, I know what it smells like, I'm calling the cops. No warning. We're talking zero tolerance, you got that? End of discussion."

"Tad Hilgenbrink as Chris Emerson"

"Angus Sutherland as Shane Powers"

"Autumn Reeser as Nicole Emerson"

"Corey Feldman as Edgar Frog"

"Gabrielle Rose as Aunt Jillian"

"Shaun Sipos as Kyle"

"Merwin Mondesir as Erik"

"Kyle Cassie as Jon"

"Moneca Delain as Lisa"

"Greyston Holt as Evan Monroe"

"Tom Savini as David Van Etten"

"Daryl Shuttleworth as McGraw"

"Sarah Smyth as Hayden"

"Alexander Calvert as Grom"

"Corey Haim as Sam Emerson (during closing credits)"

"Jamison Newlander as Alan Frog (deleted scenes)"

"[seeing Lita coated in ketchup and holding a SpongeBob SquarePants knife] That wasn't in the classes. I've got nothing for that."

"[after beating the adult janitor Jacob] Hey, you ever touch, text, or think about our daughter ever again, and you're a dead man."

"This isn't even a real Barbie. You've got a real Barbie at home that Santa gave you a few weeks ago."

"Mark Wahlberg – Pete Wagner"

"Rose Byrne – Ellie Wagner"

"Isabela Merced – Lizzy Wagner"

"Gustavo Escobar – Juan Wagner"

"Julianna Gamiz – Lita Wagner"

"Margo Martindale – Grandma Sandy"

"Octavia Spencer – Karen"

"Tig Notaro – Sharon"

"Julie Hagerty – Jan"

"If my brother is killed in this war, I'll spit at the world. I'll hate it forever. I won't be good. I'll be bad. I'll be the worst there is. I'll be the worst that ever lived."

"I am Matthew Macauley. I have been dead for two years. So much of me is still living that I know now the end is only the beginning. As I look down on my homeland of Ithaca, California, with its cactus, vineyards and orchards, I see that so much of me is still living there - in the places I've been, in the fields and streets and church and most of all in my home, where my hopes, my dreams, my ambitions still live in the daily life of my loved ones."

"[last line] Ya see Marcus, the ending is only the beginning."

"[to his fellow soldier Tobey, while they're on KP duty] Oh, we're poor. Always have been. My father was a great man. Not a success. Didn't make any more money than what we needed, ever... He worked in the vineyards, in the packing houses and wineries. If you saw him in the street you'd think he was nobody. But he was a great man. The only thing he cared about was his family. Ma and his kids. He saved up and made a down payment on a harp. Ha! Yeah, nobody plays a harp anymore, but that's what ma wanted, so he got her one. Took him five years to pay for it. We used to think every house had a harp just because we had one. And I thought everybody was great like him, until I got out and met some of them. Oh, they're all right, but they're not great."

"You must remember always to give, of everything you have. You must give foolishly even. You must be extravagant. You must give to all who come into your life. Then nothing and no one shall have power to cheat you of anything, for if you give to a thief, he cannot steal from you, and he himself is then no longer a thief. And the more you give, the more you will have to give."

"[to Homer Macauley and Hubert Ackley, whom she detained after class] You'll both learn that every man in the world is better than somebody else. And not as good as somebody else. In a democratic state every man is equal to every other man up to the point of exertion. And then every man is free to exert himself to do good or not. To grow nobly, or foolishly. I'm eager for my boys and girls to exert themselves to do good and grow nobly. I want you to understand that each of you will begin to be real men and truly human when in spite of your differences with one another you still respect one another. That's what it means to be civilized."

"Mrs. Steed: Diana only seems a fool - she isn't really."

"Willie Grogan: If you behold me lost in the embrace of alcohol, greet me as you pass but make no reference to my condition. I'm rather a sensitive man and I prefer not to be the object of public solicitude."

"Mickey Rooney - Homer Macauley"

"Frank Morgan - Willie Grogan"

"James Craig - Tom Spangler"

"Marsha Hunt - Diana Steed"

"Fay Bainter - Mrs. Macauley"

"Ray Collins - Mr. Macauley"

"Van Johnson - Marcus Macauley"

"Donna Reed - Bess Macauley"

"Jackie Jenkins - Ulysses Macauley"

"Dorothy Morris - Mary Arena"

"John Craven - Tobey George"

"Ann Ayars - Mrs. Sandoval"

"Mary Nash - Miss Hicks"

"Henry O'Neill - Charles Steed"

"Fuck off, teenagers!"

"I don't understand, but... I'm sexy, right?"

"I met the girl I'm gonna marry one day, Greg."

"[Alana shows her boobs] Can I touch them? [She slaps his face]"

"This is my nozzle, motherfucker!"

"There's no gas-o in the goddamn car-o, Steve-o!"

"You're a goddamn fucking fighter, aren't you? I like that. I can see that. You come here trying to be all pretty for me, but really, you remind me... of a dog. Of an English pit bull dog... with sex appeal. And... a very Jewish nose."

"You have a warm smile, which is very powerful. And... you have a very Jewish nose."

"Rex Blau: You shiny, gold, tall, inexpensive prick!"

"Joel Wachs: All that we need are people in positions of power to remember to be who they were when they were voted in."

"Alana Haim - Alana Kane"

"Cooper Hoffman - Gary Valentine"

"Sean Penn - Jack Holden"

"Tom Waits - Rex Blau"

"Bradley Cooper - Jon Peters"

"Benny Safdie - Joel Wachs"

"Skyler Gisondo - Lance Brannigan"

"Mary Elizabeth Ellis - Momma Anita"

"John Michael Higgins - Jerry Frick"

"Christine Ebersole - Lucy Doolittle"

"Harriet Sansom Harris - Mary Grady"

"Ryan Heffington - Steve, Barbra Streisand's assistant"

"[to Maguire] Let's see now: you've lost half a million dollars, confiscated a ton of useless coke, and been responsible for the murder of a federal informant, and that... that's just tonight."

"What is it? You need some chap stick or lip gloss or something? Because your lips keep getting stuck on your teeth. Or is that your idea of a smile?"

"You son of a bitch! How could you do this? Friendship is the only choice in life you can make that's yours! You can't choose your family, God damn it - I've had to face that! And no man should be judged for whatever direction his dick goes - that's like blaming a compass for pointing north, for Christ's sake! Friendship is all we have! We chose each other. How could you fuck it up? How could you make us look so bad?"

"I think it's time for both of us to quit. I've seen it coming for some time now, cocaine is no goddamn good for anyone. The future, the future is grass... grass, buddy. I got sixty ton of Thai stick coming in... it's on the way. [slumps over dead]"

"I don't know what it is about going to high school with someone that makes you feel you're automatically friends for life. Who says, who says friendship lasts forever? We'd all like it to, maybe. But maybe... it just wears out like everything else. Like tires. There's just so much mileage in them and then you're riding around on nothing but air."

"You meet at Orville and Wilbur's every Christmas. He throws his Chevrolet keys on the bar. You throw your Porsche keys on the bar. You pick up your drink with a gold Rolex on your wrist. He wears a Timex. Even if he wasn't a cop he'd hate your guts."

"A dangerous cocktail."

"A business on the line. A friendship on the edge. A woman caught in the middle."

"A dangerous mix.Scott"

"Mel Gibson - Dale "Mac" McKussic"

"Michelle Pfeiffer - Jo Ann Vallenari"

"Kurt Russell - Lieutenant Nick Frescia"

"Raul Julia - Commandante Xavier Escalante / Carlos"

"J. T. Walsh - DEA Agent Hal Maguire"

"Gabriel Damon - Cody McKussic"

"Ely Pouget - Barbara"

"Arliss Howard - Gregg Lindroff"

"Arye Gross - Andy Leonard"

"Daniel Zacapa - Arturo"

"Budd Boetticher - Judge Nizetitch"

"Ann Magnuson - Shaleen McKussic"

"This is weird. You guys didn't call. You showed up unannounced. Is this like a booty call or something? I'm not that kind of girl."

"Jorge Lendeborg Jr. as Benny"

"Debby Ryan as Blaire"

"Lucy Fry as Zoe"

"Raúl Castillo as Jay (as Raul Castillo)"

"Alfie Allen as Victor"

"Alexander Ludwig as Rocko"

"Sydney Sweeney as Eva"

"Megan Fox as Grace"

"Marlene Forte as Abuela"

"Ash Santos as Maria"

"Bryan Batt as Gio"

"This is like some fuckin' movie. Friends since second grade, fuckin' like THIS [crosses fingers] and then one of us gets himself in potentially BIG trouble, and now we've gotta deal with it; we've got to test our loyalty against ALL odds. It's kind of... exciting. I feel like... Chuck Norris, y'know?"

"It's people like you that are sending this country down the tubes. No sense of pride. No sense of loyalty. No sense of NOTHING, man."

"The only reason you stay here is so you can fuck my mother and eat her food. MOTHERFUCKER. FOOD EATER."

"My leg was right out in the middle of the street. I remember lying in the gutter and bleeding and shit, staring at my leg, right next to a beer can. And I remember thinking, that's my leg... I wonder if there's any beer in that can."

"[John accuses Feck of having feelings for his blow-up doll, Ellie] Look, I'm not psycho. I know she's a doll. Right, Ellie?"

"You understand, don't you? Sure you do. I don't like killing people. But sometimes it's necessary. That's enough for now. I, I'd like you all to leave now. Very tired. Sort of depressed. I lost a good friend today, ya know..."

"Crispin Glover - Layne"

"Keanu Reeves - Matt"

"Ione Skye Leitch - Clarissa"

"Daniel Roebuck - Samson 'John' Tollet"

"Dennis Hopper - Feck"

"Joshua John Miller - Tim"

"Roxana Zal - Maggie"

"Josh Richman - Tony"

"Phillip Brock - Mike"

"Tom Bower - Detective Bennett"

"Yuzo Nishihara - Moko"

"Constance Forslund - Madeleine"

"Leo Rossi - Jim"

"Jim Metzler - Mr. Burkewaite"

"Richard Richcreek - Kevin"

"Taylor Negron - Checker"

"Danyi Deats - Jamie"

"If I peed on your couch, I would pay someone to come in and steal all of your furniture. I would rather burn down your whole apartment building than tell you... "Hey, Nancy, I peed on your couch last night.""

"Should've been nicer."

"You don't trust me?"

"One life is enough for anyone. But there are so many lives within that life."

"There was a time in my life when it was just a joy to wake up every morning and run to the mirror."

"You were way too drunk. There are rules."

"I think you'll find people will do a lot of things for you. If you ever just want to put down the beer bottle and let them."

"You food truck people think you're so cool. You're not. I can get ice cream at the grocery store."

"I am going to wait on a customer with no pants on. Tell me that isn't the coolest thing ever."

"A day without sex... is a day wasted, man!"

"I'm just tired of all the fucking killing in Iraq. Why can't we just give peace a chance?"

"Bill Stone: Ladies and gentlemen, I have some great news. Our board of directors has agreed to the acquisition of NCT Software by Oracle Corporation FOR A BILLION DOLLARS!"

"Dr. Jones: It's the human species that needs to quit playing cowboy with nature. We must act more like astronauts, spacemen taking care of Spaceship Earth."

"Tree hugger: I hear a mountain lion! I gotta get back to my house and you better get to your car!"

"Alan Bagh - Rod"

"Whitney Moore - Nathalie"

"Adam Sessa - Ramsey"

"Catherine Batcha - Becky"

"Janae Caster - Susan"

"Colton Osborne - Tony"

"Rick Camp - Dr. Jones"

"Stephen Gustavson - TreeHugger/Tom Hill"

"Eric Swartz - Bill Stone/CEO"

"Patsy van Ettinger - Nathalie's Mother"

"Mona Lisa Moon - Mai"

"Danny Webber - Rick"

"Laura Cassidy - News Anchor"

"Gregor Martin - News Anchor (2)"

"Fraser Jarvie - Band Member"

"Shea Clark - Band Member (2)"

"Damien Carter - Nightclub Singer"

"Tricia Pettitt - Nightclub Dancer"

"Jake Pennington - Clark"

"James Nguyen - a restaurant customer (cameo)"