"You're smart. I like you. I'll probably give you a nickname."

"I had a nickname for you! And now I'm not gonna tell you. Okay......... It was Laser."

"No one calls me a retard, you FREAKIN' HOBO!!!!"

"You're going down!"

"You are so awesome, your room is so awesome, your phone is kick-ass, and you know what? I love you."

"You know what, boys? Why don't you just let me take care of it. You treat a hot girl like dirt, and she'll stick to y…"

"We have been getting screwed by the system. The system that forces us guys to like girls. All right? We're getting pu…"

"Jason Schwartzman - "Cool" Ethan Dulles"

"Devon Sawa - Dave Goodman"

"Jason Segel - Sam Schecter"