First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"[yelling at Ernest] Oh Yeah! Rattan's gonna make a nice bulletproof barricade! Why don't you just build yourself a Wicker tank??"
"[to Ernest Reed, the owner of Club Paradise, during a storm] Oh, sure! Go start a revolution. It's not gonna look good on your resumé, you know!"
"Last time I smoked that stuff, they found me on top of the Sears Tower trying to build a nest."
"Carey Lowell - Fashion Model"
"Earl "Chinna" Smith - Flamboyant (Ernest Reed's band)"
"Miranda Richardson - Nana Mae Frost"
"Michele Durrett - Starla Von Luft"
"Curtis Armstrong - Dr. Soberin Exx"
"Will Sasso - Fortunio Balducci"
"Zelda Rubinstein - Katarina Kuntzler"
"Christopher Lambert - Walter Mung"
"Janeane Garofalo - General Teena MacArthur"
"Lou Taylor Pucci - Martin Kefauver"
"Amy Poehler - Dream/Veronica Mung"
"Cheri Oteri - Zora Carmichaels"
"Holmes Osborne - Senator Bobby Frost"
"Bai Ling - Serpentine"
"Kevin Smith - Simon Theory"
"Wallace Shawn - Baron Von Westphalen"
"Jon Lovitz - Bart Bookman"
"John Larroquette - Vaughn Smallhouse"
"Nora Dunn - Cyndi Pinziki"
"Justin Timberlake - Pilot Abilene"
"Mandy Moore - Madeline Frost Santaros"
"Sarah Michelle Gellar - Krysta Now aka Krysta Lynn Kapowski"
"Seann William Scott - Roland Taverner/Ronald Taverner"
"Dwayne Johnson - Boxer Santaros"
"The Internet is the Future. The Future is Just Like You Imagined."
"Warning: you are entering a domain of chaos."
"The future is just like you imagined."
"This is the way the world ends."
"Have A Nice Apocalypse"
"Announcer on PA: Ladies and gentlemen, the party is over. Have a nice apocalypse."
"Dr. Inga Von Westphalen: Here we go round the prickly pear, prickly pear, prickly pear."
"Senator Bobby Frost: "Teen horniness is not a crime"? I never said it was..."
"Senator Bobby Frost: Did I just see two cars porking each other?"
"Serpentine: Don't look so scared, Mr. Santaros. The future is just like you imagined."
"Veronica Mung: Just 'cause it's loud doesn't mean it's funny!"
"Fortunio Balducci: Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval."
"Zora Carmichaels: Let's dry our tears and face our fears."
"Zora Carmichaels: You know... there would be a lot less violence in the world if everyone just got a little more cardio."
"Starla Von Luft: [to Boxer] If you don't let me suck your dick I'll shoot myself in the head!"
"I need you to fill in for my drummer this Saturday. He's dead."
"Starla Von Luft: [to Boxer] The information that I have uncovered could get me killed. But it was a risk I was willing to take. The fate of the earth depends on you, Jericho."
"Roland Taverner: Sounds neat... How does he stop the global deceleration?"
"Roland Taverner: We're taking the ATM machine with us to Mexico."
"When the shit hits the fans, it all smells the same."
"Nobody rocks the cock like Cyndi Pinziki!"
"Nothing an eight ball, a porn star and a tattoo parlor can't handle."
"Revelation 21: And God wiped away the tears from his eyes, so the new Messiah could see out to the new Jerusalem. His name was Officer Roland Taverner, of Hermosa Beach, California. My best friend. He is a pimp. And pimps don't commit suicide."