First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Why are you talking like a black man from 1991?"
"If only there was a symbol of mob anger! (Looks at torches and pitchforks) ROCKS!"
"DAMN YOU CARL!"
"(Elephant - Speaking very fast and worried) The turkey's just my roommate!"
"Roy: Now we shall have the drink of the magical fairies: Sprite."
"Roy: Yes, please. That would be lovely."
"Siegfried: I told you. Licorice whip?"
"Roy: You're right. He does interrupt."
"Roy: Ohh... I am having it up to here with your besmirching the good name of Matt Lauer!"
"Siegfried: (smacks Roy's hand) I do what I want. You are not the Kaiser of China!"
"Roy: Siegfried, I am not letting you give fake tickets to Matt Lauer!"
"Roy: CUE OCTOPUS!"
"Roy: Ja, ja, very funny. Your arm is a blade that cuts trees."
"Roy: Siegfried. You are down a million dollars. I... am not going back... TO CANADA!!"
"Siegfried and Roy: Activate "Rocket Pants!""
"Siegfried: Roy! You must be quiet! I am watching the tube of boobs!"
"Roy: Magic, you fickle bitch."
"Siegfried: Hello, security camera! Here is one crime you cannot stop! (lifts shirt) I stole a six pack."
"Roy: I am Roy! 'Allo!"
"Siegfried: Roy is doing a good thing... WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?!?"
"I don't even know why I bothered learning the numbers in maths 'cause I have found the one!"
"(Talking into camera) Vegas. Where every thrill is for sale including... murder! (Makes Psycho sound effects while zooming camera in and out on zebra)"
"Okay listen up, you need a zebra rug, I need to get a crazy Hindu elephant off my back."
"I love him... but the kid bums me out."
"Larry, I just want you to know. If you were my own son... I'd be pretty disappointed, but I'd make do."
"You're a fat, middle-aged, virgin panda. You deserve Nelson!"
"(Talking to his rug) What do you think of our new place? Oh that's right you can't hear me because I killed you and sawdust now occupies where your brain was."
"Happiness, is being a grandparent."
"(To Larry; amazed) You know Donkey?!"
"Dad? Are we gonna kill Grandpa?"
"I do not know you, sir!"
"(Drunk) Grandpa... this tower isn't evil... it's good!"
"I like elves!"
"(Imitating Gollum) My precious! Grandpa wants to take the precious! (Imitating Smeagol) But Grandpa's a friend! (Imitating Gollum) NO! Kill Grandpa!"
"The zebra's alive! Save yourselves and bring me back through the miracle of cloning!"
"Mom, Hunter's using your copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves to discover his body, himself."
"(To Emerson, who called Larry the enemy) No he's not! He's my dad! And I like him! You know who I don't like? You!"
"You are the worst parents EVER! (Runs to her room and slams the door shut)"
"Oh, my God. You searched my room? What happened to privacy?"
"Grown-ups? Last time, Siegfried and Roy dressed up like leprechauns!"
"How come I'm never involved in the adult conversations?!"
"The better question is why do we live in a world where doors need locks?"
"(Questioning catnip) Maybe one of my friends put it there? Or maybe it's Siegfried and Roy's. I mean that would definitely explain the outfits."
"Oh God! Our daughter's a nip head!"
"You saw the way he loves that thing... he brushes its teeth!"
"We live in a civilized community. I have a shower cap."
"Well, aren't you glad I didn't say banana?"
"Weird. I suddenly feel the urge to chug a beer and chase around a heavy set bar wench."
"Hey! I'm a lion! You were upset, so I attacked!"
"If I wasn't white, I'd be dancin'!"