"Long ago, a mythic battle of good and evil played out in ancient China. The country was torn by civil war, with many kingdoms struggling for land and power. But one king had a ruthless ambition to make himself emperor by the sword. The other leaders had assassins to kill the king, before he could conquer us all. Kingdom by kingdom, his armies swept away everything in its path, and anyone who resisted, met a terrible fate. The country was now his. He was emperor of all under Heaven. He enslaved his conquered enemies and forced them to build his great Wall; and when they were dead, or useless, he had them buried beneath it. The Emperor's mystics taught him mastery over the five elements: Fire, Water, Earth, Wood, and Metal. His power seemed without limit. He was master of millions, but like the lowliest peasant, he could not stop growing old. He needed to defeat his last enemy: Death itself. One day, news came of a powerful witch, who was rumoured to hold the secret to eternal life. He ordered General Ming, his oldest friend and trusted ally, to find her. The witch was named Zi Yuan, and she was nothing like the general expected. On the Western borders stood the monastery of Ti Fuang; there, was housed the greatest library in the ancient world, and Zi Yuan was sure the secret to eternal life was here. It was the long-lost Oracle Bones, a collection of all the mystical secrets concerning the ancient world. The Emperor's answer was here... along with other magic, beyond understanding. She cast the spell in Sanskrit, an ancient language that the Emperor did not understand. The curse must never be lifted, or the Emperor will arise, to enslave all of mankind. On that dark day, there will be nothing, and no-one, to save us."

"(seeing the flying dragon) Rick, should I quit drinking?"

"I'd tell you to fasten your seatbelts, but I was too cheap to buy any."

"Here's to you, princess! And Imhotep. May the bugger actually stay dead!"

"(to Rick & Evie) You guys are like mummy magnets!"

"I hate mummies. They never play fair!"

"The Yak yakked"

"Good going dad. You've raised another mummy."

"(about his fishing) At least you've got a hobby that doesn't involve guns."

"(to Evy about the battle they are in) When I say we've been in worse scrapes than this, I mean this."

"(to the Emperor) Enough tricks! Where's your honor? Fight like a man."

"(aiming his pistols at the resurrecting mummy) Here we go again."

"(pulling a guy from his truck) Sorry pal, there's a mummy on the loose."

"(about the dead soldiers from the Wall) So these are the good undead guys, right?"

"Gimme your hand, and get on this horse! [Alex: Get back, Dad!] Alexander Rupert O'Connell, you get on the back of this horse this instant!"

"Now you can rule...in Hell!"

"[First lines] August 18, 1973. News of a bizarre, chainsaw-wielding family - reports which were to ignite the world's imagination - began to filter out of central Texas. Regrettably, not one of the family members was ever apprehended, and for more than ten years nothing further was heard. Then, over the next several years, at least two minor, yet apparently related incidents were reported. Then again nothing. For five long years, silence..."

"Meagen Fay - Deputy Lyons"

"Chase Vanek - Young Michael"

"Jeff Daniel Phillips - Howard/Uncle Seymour Coffins"

"Mark Christopher Lawrence - Deputy Fred King"

"Richard Riehle - Buddy"

"Margot Kidder - Barbara Collier"

"Dayton Callie - Alan Hook"

"Richard Brake - Gary Scott"

"Bill Fagerbakke - Deputy Webb"

"Daniel Roebuck - Lou Martini"

"Mary Birdsong - Nancy McDonald"

"Angela Trimbur - Harley David"

"Scout Taylor-Compton - Laurie Strode"

"Howard Hesseman - Uncle Meat"

"Brea Grant - Mya Rockwell"