"That's right, my friends. For two glorious days and nights we will be walking the same path that the Witch herself once walked. Following the same path where her victim's blood was split, possibly using your own souls in the process."

"(About Kim) She's a little weird. She thinks she's psychic or some shit."

"(About tourists in Burkittsville) And when people come to my town, they come up to me and hug me, like, they say "It's real, man" and I'm like "Yeah, I know it's real too, dude". We've got a bond, man, like a connection."

"(About The Blair Witch Project) I couldn't see the movie when it first came out, because I was... (Pauses) In hospital. But since I was released, I have seen it, like, seventeen times."

"(To Kim) I can smell fear on you!"

"(To Stephen) But you can't understand, because you're so afraid! Just like those pathetic little children from the Blair Village."

"(Reciting) Naiga kcab era sdik eht. (Reversal of The kids are back again)"

"Widdershins! Undo the Evil."

"(Repeated line) Earth, Air, Fire, Water!"

"(To Peggy) Keep your change!"

"Well, can you tell the bitch at the cashier to do her fucking job!"

"(To Peggy) Am I going to have a problem with you, too?"

"(Upon being accosted by a redneck) Oh yeah? Suck this."

"What am I supposed to do? Sleep standing up?"

"Just because we're older doesn't mean we're old. This is the 90s."

"Two Vastnick is like, "Bye, George! See you next Thursday!""

"Father of the bride and a baby? GET OUT OF TOWN."

"[talking about his baby's name] Franck Banks - has sort of a continental ring to it."

"Talon Ackerman as Jack"

"Tyger Rawlings as Billy"

"Tad D'Agostino as Robert"

"Taggart Hurtubise as Carl"

"Sean Patrick Flaherty as Bobby J"

"Molly Jepsen as Becca"

"Telise Galanis as Juliette"

"Dallin Boyce as Max Ryerson"

"Brian Doyle-Murray as "Uncle" Morty"

"Spencir Bridges as Ben Hinton"

"Josh McLerran as Dale"

"Paul Rae as Phil Ryerson"

"Tamala Jones as Kim Hinton"

"Richard Gant as Col. Buck Hinton"

"Lochlyn Munro as Lance Warner"

"Cuba Gooding, Jr. as Charlie Hinton"

"B.D. Wong - Howard Weinstein"

"Eugene Levy - Mr. Habib"

"Martin Short - Franck Eggelhoffer"

"Kieran Culkin - Matty Banks"

"George Newbern - Bryan Mackenzie"

"Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Annie Banks-Mackenzie"

"Diane Keaton - Nina Banks"

"Steve Martin - George Banks"

"Expect the unexpected."

"Just When His World Is Back To Normal... He's In For The Surprise Of His Life!"

"How would you like to go through life with the name Cooper Banks-Mackenzie? The kid's going to sound like a law firm."

"What are we, the Schmaltz family?"

"We could sell this house is a second. It's the Leave It To Beaver house that everybody wants."

"Mr. Habib, this is not a piece of land. This is my home and I'm going to be a father again and I don't want to bring my baby home to a condo on the beach! I want to drive down that street and I want to pull into this driveway and I want to honk my horn..."