"We don't really move. I mean, we'd like to, but... my mom is sort of attached to the house. Attached is, I guess, not the right word. She's pretty much wedged in."

"I know a boy whose name is Arnie... he's, uh, 'bout to turn 18 and have a big party. I know a boy whose name is Arnie. C'mon down, buddy."

"I'm having a birthday party, but you're not invited, but you can come if you want."

"A story about the love you find...in the last place you look."

"Arnie knows a secret. His big brother Gilbert is the greatest person on the planet."

"Mike O'Dowd - Michael Sullivan"

"Louise Lasser - Kay Lewis"

"Henry Leff - Father Starkwell"

"Grace Bauer - Farm House Lady"

"Ethel Sokolow - Mother Starkwell"

"Dan Frazer - Julius Epstein the Psychiatrist"

"Mark Gordon - Vince"

"Micil Murphy - Frank"

"Minnow Moskowitz - Joe Agneta"

"Howard Storm - Fred"

"Jan Merlin - Al the Bank Robber"

"James Anderson - Chain Gang Warden"

"Nate Jacobson - The Judge"

"Woody Allen - Virgil Starkwell"

"Janet Margolin - Louise"

"Marcel Hillaire - Fritz the Director"

"Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman appear in scenes from Casablanca as Richard "Rick" Blaine and Ilsa Lund, respectively."

"Viva - Jennifer"

"Suzanne Zenor as Disco girl"

"Jacquelyn Hyde - Miss Blair"

"Diana Davila as Museum girl"

"Susan Anspach - Nancy"

"Jerry Lacy - Humphrey Bogart"

"Jennifer Salt - Sharon"

"Tony Roberts - Dick Christie"

"Joy Bang - Julie"

"Diane Keaton - Linda Christie"

"Lonny Chapman - Jake the Convict"

"I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life."

"[to Linda Christie] Look. Last night you felt like a woman, and I felt like a man . . . And that's the kind of thing those people do."

"[to Allan Felix and Diane Christie] The two of you should get married and move into a hospital."

"I'll get broads up here like you wouldn't believe: swingers, freaks, nymphomaniacs, dental hygienists."

"[in a dream sequence to Dream Sharon] Sorry I had to slap you around, but you got hysterical when I said, "No more.""