"No one wants to die Harold, unfortunately we do. Harold, Harold listen to me. Harold, you will die, some day, some time; heart failure at the bank, choke on a mint. Some long drawn-out disease you've contracted on vacation, you will die. You will absolutely die. Even if you avoid this death, another will find you. And I guarantee, that it won't be nearly as poetic or as meaningful as what she's written. I'm sorry but it's ... it's the nature of all tragedies Harold. The hero dies, and the story goes on forever."

"You have to die. It's a masterpiece."

"Alright, who just said "Harold just counted brush strokes"?"

"I left my thimble and Socialist reading material at home."

"I brought you flours."

"Wyatt Smith Jordan Kaiser Alyson Stoner — Voices of Kid Rats"

"Debra Jo Rupp — Voice of Mom Rat"

"Richard Kind — Voice of Dad Rat"

"Debra Messing — Voice of Arlene"

"Jimmy Kimmel — Voice of Spanky"

"Brad Garrett — Voice of Luca"

"David Eigenberg — Voice of Nermal"

"Alan Cumming — Voice of Sir Roland (a.k.a. Persnikitty)"

"Nick Cannon — Voice of Louis"

"Leyna Nguyen — Abby Shields"

"Eve Brent — Mrs. Baker"

"Mark Lawrence — Christopher Mello"

"Evan Arnold — Wendell"

"Stephen Tobolowsky — Happy Chapman / Walter J. Chapman"

"Jennifer Love Hewitt — Liz Wilson"

"Breckin Meyer — Jon Arbuckle"

"Bill Murray — Voice of Garfield"

"Canines, felines and "vermines", it's showtime!"

"All right, here's the drill. Cats, scratch like you've never scratched before. Dogs, bite but don't chew. And, rats, see if you can get that pretty necklace around his neck."

"Surf's up! Gravity, do your thang!"

"Hey! Nobody gets to mistreat my dog like that except me!"

"[to Oodie] No. Down. Down dumb dog."

"Kristin Chenoweth as Book Channel host"

"Linda Hunt - Dr. Mittag-Leffler"

"Tom Hulce - Dr. Cayly"

"Tony Hale - Dave"

"Queen Latifah - Penny Escher"

"Maggie Gyllenhaal - Ana Pascal"

"Dustin Hoffman - Professor Jules Hilbert"

"Emma Thompson - Karen Eiffel"

"Will Ferrell - Harold Crick"

"Harold Crick isn't ready to go. Full Stop."

"He's not crazy. He's just written that way."

"Truth is stranger than fiction."

"Harold Crick isn't ready to go. Period."

"Anarchists have a group? ... They assemble? ... Wouldn't that defeat the whole purpose?"

"Apology accepted. But only because you stammered."

"Get bent, taxman!"

"Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led... and, of course, the quality of the pancakes."

"Meeting an insurance agent the day your policy runs out is coincidence. Getting a letter from the Emperor saying he's visiting is plot. Having your apartment eaten by a wrecking ball ... is something else entirely. Harold, you don't control your fate."

"'Little did he know', That means there's something he doesn't know, which means there's something you don't know, did you know that?"

"It's been a very revealing 10 seconds."

"George Newbern - Bryan MacKenzie"

"SHUT UP! [narrator continues] No I'm not. I'm cursing you stupid voice; so shut up and leave me alone!"

"This may sound like gibberish, but I think I'm in a tragedy."