"It ain't easy, man. It might look glamour-like to ya, cuz ya see me riiiidin'...ya dig? Snakeskin down to tha flo', ya dig? Hat and shoes to match. Diamonds on fingers and watches on arms...It might look easy, but ya gon' hafta work some to get to this status...see ya at the top."

"Mary Magdalene was hoeing like a mothafucka in the Bible days... Jesus knew it!"

""Why? Because it isn't in the Book of all Knowledgefulness that I'm going to be cheering at the Riverview game tomorrow? Lighten up, Merrick"."

"I'm the Chosen One, and I choose to be shopping."

"Three weeks ago, all I thought about was... well, I didn't actually think about anything.""

"Merrick — you made a joke! Are you okay? I mean, do you wanna lie down? I know it hurts the first time."

"Great. My secret weapon is PMS."

"I just think it sounds cool, you know? Buyer, buying, to buy... [about her future career as a 'Buyer']"

"All I wanna do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die. Now, that may not sound too exciting to a scone-head like you, but I think it's swell. And then you come along and, and tell me I'm a member of the hairy mole club so you can throw things at me? I don't THINK so!""

"What are you doing here? This is a naked place! [when Merrick approaches her in the girls' locker room]"

"Does Elvis talk to you?"

"'Pike' isn't a name. It's a fish."

"Mmm. Wouldn't you guys love me in this?" [holding up a new jacket in front of her]"

"You do everything wrong! [Buffy begins to apologize] No....Do it wrong."

"[after Lothos appears] "That is definitely not a student."

"I have detention slips here, and I'm not afraid to use them! [to horde of vampires attacking the school gym]"

"Don't think of me as Gary Murray, administrator. Think of me as Gary Murray — party guy."

"[interview after vampire attack]: They had fangs. They were biting people. They had this look in their eyes — totally cold. Animal. I think they were Young Republicans."

""Buffy, what's your sitch? You're acting like the Thing from Another Tax Bracket"."

"Get out of my facial!"

"Buffy: "Oh yeah? Clap."

"(When Amilyn has one Arm) "We're immortal. We can do anything."

"Admit it, Buffy. Don't you sometimes feel... less than fresh?"

"You ruined my new jacket!" [to henchmen] "Kill him a LOT!" [after his left arm has been torn off]"

"Wanna go for a ride?"

"Twelve hundred years old, and you behave like a child! Honestly, I don't know how you made it through the Crusades."

"What are we? We are man, perfected. We exist to consume."

"We can't be stopped. This is our world now."

"You must forgive Amilyn. He tends to drool before supper."

"I crashed your party [Buffy responds, "How shallow."] Yeah well, I'm pretty shallow. Would I get my ass kicked if I asked you to dance?"

"[sees Amilyn and Lothos with Buffy] "I know that guy. That is a bad guy. Can we go now? {when Buffy approaches Lothos] "Does anybody here but me have a problem with this?""

"[Buffy is lying on top of him after a large leap] What am I supposed to do, run? These guys are everywhere, and I wanna do some damage. I'm good with damage."

"Are YOU addressing I?"

"You know, Benny was right? You're all the same. I'm not disappointed, I'm just angry!""

"I don't believe this! The world is under attack by legions of the undead, and you're going to a mixer?!?"

"I think I'll just hang out here. Make sure the sun comes up and everything."

"I'm leaving, man, I'm bailing town. This place has gotten way too hairy."

"All this is a show. And when the music stops, the rest is silence."

"There's a small village in Hampshire, near Stonehenge..." [notices Buffy's blank look] Near a bunch of big rocks. That's where I was born."

"[dead vampires, with stakes sticking out of their hearts, litter the gym] "Detention, detention, detention...detention, detention, detention. I think that's all of them; no, wait, detention, detention, detention." [drops detention slips on the bodies]"

"David Arquette - Benny Jacks"

"Mark DeCarlo - Coach"

"Stephen Root - Gary Murray"

"Hilary Swank - Kimberley Hannah"

"Paul Reubens - Amilyn"

"Luke Perry - Oliver Pike"