"Alright man, you win, is that what you want to hear you win. (Nick starts slapping himself) What the fuck? Hey man, you ain't one of them desert slashers, are you? Cut a person's body up and leave it out in the desert in little tiny pieces and shit, huh? Oh, shit! We are in the fuckin' desert! I'm in the car with a psycho freaky Jason hack-killer motherfucker! Please don't kill me, freaky Jason. I said, please don't kill me, freaky Jason! (Nick just looks at him) I done fucked around and caught a ride with the wrong white boy!"

"Larry Miller — Mr. Hollister"

"Hector Elizondo — Hotel Manager Barney Thompson"

"Elinor Donahue — Bridget"

"Amy Yasbeck — Elizabeth Stuckey"

"Alex Hyde-White — David Morse"

"Laura San Giacomo — Kit De Luca"

"Jason Alexander — Philip Stuckey"

"Ralph Bellamy — James Morse (final film role)"

"Julia Roberts — Vivian Ward"

"Richard Gere — Edward Lewis"

"Happy Man: Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin' - this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin'."

"Magician at party: No matter what they say, it's all about money. So let's imagine, ladies, that you're a savings and loan officer. Watch - one, two, three; see, you've got it all, and we've got nothing. You've got all four, take a look."

"Philip Stuckey: [about Morse] He mortgaged everything he owns, right down to his underwear, to secure a loan from the bank."

"A name... you want a name... the pressure of a name... I got it! Cinde-fucking-rella!"

"Those are two very specific examples of crackheads."

"Fifty bucks, Grandpa. For seventy-five, the wife can watch."

"Yo, Viv, babe. Would ya come down here? The Sphincter Police won't let me through."

"People put you down enough, you start to believe it."

"I think you have a lot of special gifts, Edward."

"I appreciate the whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing."

"You'll buy a snap dog and we'll cop a squat under a tree or somewhere."

"The bad things are easier to believe. Haven't you noticed that?!"

"The first guy I've ever loved was a total nothing. The second was worse. My mom called me a bum magnet. There was a bum in a fifty mile radius, I was completely attracted to him."

"People always do what you tell them to do? ...I guess so."

"Honey, I've got a runner in my pantyhose. I'm not wearing pantyhose."

"I want the fairy tale."

"[to Edward] In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight."

"People's reaction to opera the first time they hear it is extreme. They either love it or they hate it. If they love it, they will always love it. If they don't, they may learn to appreciate it, but it will never become part of their soul."

"Impossible relationships. My special gift is impossible relationships."

"You and I are such similar creatures, Vivian. We both screw people for money."

"Flesh seduces. Passion kills."

"the lesbian community is under siege, we always try to present to the heterosexual community the idealized version, but I do not think that's a good way to do it, even though I can understand where it's coming from. ("Valerie Miner talked about the kinds of self-censorship she finds in her work when she starts thinking she should present only positive images of lesbians or working-class people.") Yes. In that poem and also in the poem "Night Voice" I do that. There's this whole controversy now over media images of lesbians and gays and bisexuals. It's brought out in movies like Basic Instinct and Silence of the Lambs where they are presented as killers. It comes up in the novels of P. D. James, where she has these criminals who are lesbians or gay men. And I hate that. But, at the same time, I want the dirty laundry to be out there, whether it's on the Mexican culture or the lesbian culture or the bisexual. And I'm not sure how you do that."

"James Rebhorn - Dr. McElwaine"

"William Duff-Griffin - Docteur Myron"

"Bill Cable - Johnny Boz"

"Jack McGee - Sheriff"

"Benjamin Mouton - Harrigan"

"Stephen Tobolowsky - Dr. Lamott"

"Daniel von Bargen - Lieutenant Marty Nilsen"

"[To Nick] Well, she got that magna cum laude pussy on her that done fried up your brain!"

"Wayne Knight - John Correli"

"[To Beth] My sex life is actually pretty shitty after I stopped seeing you. [He shows her his palm] I started developing callouses. I haven't had a drink in three months. I'm working my ass off. I'm off the sauce. I even stopped smoking. Now, will you tell I.A. I'm just your average, healthy, totally fucked up cop and let me out of here... please?"

"Dorothy Malone - Hazel Dobkins"

"Chelcie Ross - Captain Talcott"