"Man, it's the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. If it ain't that piece of paper, there's some other choice they're gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall "Pink" Floyd wants to do, man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin' man, L-I-V-I-N."

"[repeated line] Alright, alright, alright!"

"Merry Christmas. May I sit down?"

"Help, My house is being robbed. My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard. My name's Murphy."

"Ralph Foody as Johnny"

"Terrie Snell as Aunt Leslie"

"Sandra Macat as Santa's Elf"

"Senta Moses as Tracy"

"Angela Goethals as Linnie"

"Michael C. Maronna as Jeff"

"Hillary Wolf as Megan"

"Kieran Culkin as Fuller"

"Virginia Smith as Gegorette"

"Devin Ratray as Buzz"

"Michael Guido as Snakes"

"Kristin Minter as Heather"

"John Heard as Peter"

"Catherine O'Hara as Kate"

"Daniel Stern as Marv Murchins"

"Joe Pesci as Harry Lyme"

"Macaulay Culkin as Kevin"

"This Non-Family Comedy is a Real Scream."

"When Kevin's Family Left For Vacation, They Forgot One Minor Detail: Kevin. But Don't Worry... He Cooks. He Cleans. He Kicks Some Butt."

"A Family Comedy Without The Family."

"SON OF A!!!"

"I made my family disappear."

"I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap, including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult-formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape. [applies aftershave; pretends to scream]"

"You guys give up? Or ya thirsty for more?"

"Did anyone order me plain cheese?"

"I hope that I never see any of you jerks again!"

"Yeah. Hi, look. I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone. Our phones there are out of order."

"This is my house! I have to defend it!"

"Bruce Willis as Lieutenant John McClane"

"Richard E. Council as Otto"

"Kevin Chamberlin as Charles Weiss"

"Sam Phillips as Katya"

"Nicky Wyman as Mathias Targo"

"Anthony Peck as Ricky Walsh"

"Larry Bryggman as Inspector Walter Cobb"

"Colleen Camp as Connie Kowalski"

"Graham Greene as Joe Lambert"

"Jeremy Irons as Simon Peter Gruber"

"Samuel L. Jackson as Zeus Carver"

"[to Sidney-Ann Strongin on television] Thank your."

"Gillian Quinn - Cara Seymour"

"Matthew Fox - Jeffrey Scaperrotta"

"Annabel Fox - Hallee Hirsh"

"Veronica Grant - Deborah Rush"

"Schuyler Fox - John Randolph"