"I've been in this business for 20 years Andy, I've seen this...I KNOW this...if you pass up an opportunity like this one, I promise you...you will NEVER see another one like it again...EVER!"

"You're insane...but you might also be brilliant."

"FUCK YOU! I'M NOT GOIN!"

"So... ya wanna see Andy? Anybody gotta flashlight and a couple of shovels?"

"If you guys ever go to Vegas...YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' IN!"

"How about a bathroom? I may of shit my pants!"

"OK, bullshit bullshit my line, bullshit bullshit my line, AHHHHH!"

"You almost sat in some cottage cheese. Oh pardon me, that's your ass."

"Whoopdie doo, whoopdie die...stick a needle in your eye!"

"Do you want to move in with me?"

"I'm sick of this shit, Lawler. I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna sue you for everything you got, I swear to God. Fuck you! Okay? Okay, Lawler? FUCK YOU! I'm sorry, Dave. I know I'm not supposed to use those words on television. I can't say those words. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! But, you, you are a (bleep)ing, (bleep)ing (bleep)hole! Okay?!"

"Those are dead people laughing. You know that? Those people are dead!"

"I'm not a comedian. I don't wanna go for cheap laughs."

"Brenda Strong - Doctor"

"William Newman - Street Preacher"

"Assumpta Serna - Lirio"

"Helen Shaver - Grace Downs"

"Nathaniel Marston - Trey"

"Breckin Meyer - Mitt"

"Christine Taylor - Laura Lizzie"

"Cliff DeYoung - Mr. Bailey"

"Skeet Ulrich - Chris Hooker"

"Rachel True - Rochelle Zimmerman"

"Neve Campbell - Bonnie Harper"

"Fairuza Balk - Nancy Downs"

"Robin Tunney - Sarah Bailey"

"Relax... it's only magic..."

"Exorcise your rites."

"Spend the weekend with the girls!"

"Welcome to the witching hour."

"It's "Carrie" meets "Clueless"!"

"He's sorry? Oh, he's sorry, he's sorry, he's sorry! He's sorry! He's sorry! He's sorry! Sorry my ass!"

"You don't exist. The only way you know how to treat women is by treating them like whores! When you're the whore! AND THAT'S GONNA STOP!"

"[after finding out that Chris had tried to rape Sarah] I'm gonna go play."

"Have you ever heard of invoking the spirit? It's when you call him... Manon. It's like... it's like you take him into you. It's like he fills you. He takes everything that's gone wrong into your life and makes it all better again."

"If God and the Devil were playing football, Manon would be the stadium that they played in, he would be the sun that shined down on them."

"You know, if I was pathetic as you are, I would have killed myself ages ago. You should get on with it."

"You know, in the old days, if a witch betrayed her coven, they would kill her."

"[After causing a tree branch to nearly fall on Bonnie and Rochelle] Be careful. You don't wanna end up like Nancy."

"[After kicking Nancy into a mirror] I bind you, Nancy, from doing harm."

"Hold your breath till I call."

"Relax, it's only magic. Now who's pathetic?"

"Close your eyes. Say your prayers. Sleep if you can."

"Who will it come for next?"

"Your heads are history!"