First Quote Added
4월 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Vicki Pepperdine: "What a pity Benedict Cumberbatch had to pull out!""
"Milton Jones: "Oh, look over there. There are your parents waving.""
"Fred MacAulay: "Magnificent curtains!""
"Milton Jones: "I hear the Duke of York's is going to be out of action for a long time...""
"John Finnemore: "Prosecco - For those special occasions that aren't that special.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Vodafone - Mos...ubbish...obile...hone...cept...in...country.""
"Vicki Pepperdine: "Look, I told you, will you wait till I come off before you go on?""
"Jon Culshaw: "We only had ten in last night...""
"John Finnemore: "Yellow Pages - In case the internet stops existing.""
"Milton Jones: "How long is this thing?""
"Barry Cryer: "The Noise Abatement Society - ...""
"Lee Mack: "Oh well, I suppose it only cost me sixty quid...""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Andrex - Shit happens.""
"John Finnemore: "Fray Bentos - Don't ask, don't tell.""
"Tony Hawks: "Waitrose - Two for the price of five.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Southern or Northern Rail - We're not happy 'til you're not happy.""
"Barry Cryer: "The Milk Marketing Board - A glass of milk... in every glass.""
"Miles Jupp: "Disneyland - Because if you don't take them, they will never shut up!""
"Jack Dee: "Young James thought it would be a lark, to ride upon a great white shark...""
"Jack Dee: "Without permission, stupid Jake went skating on a frozen lake...""
"Jack Dee: "A dreadful habit of young Mart's was lighting his and others' farts...""
"John Finnemore: "Ryanair - You knew what you were getting into!""
"Jack Dee: "Despite the warnings, naughty Mya climbed right inside the tumble dryer...""
"Jack Dee: "Poor Mrs. Wilhelmina Binns was knackered giving birth to quins...""
"Jack Dee: "A stubborn boy whose name was Norm, flew his kite in a lightning storm...""
"Jack Dee: "With stick in hand, naughty Denise approached a peaceful swarm of bees...""
"Jack Dee: "Despite the warnings, naughty Sue would feed the monkeys in the zoo...""
"Jack Dee: "Daisy Pugh and husband Gus, spiced up their sex life on the bus...""
"Jack Dee: "A wicked habit of young Bill's, was rifling through his father's pills...""
"Miles Jupp: "McDonald's - We have toilets!""
"Barry Cryer: Guantanamo Bay - Made to make your mouth water.""
"Jack Dee: "Young Nigel earned a stern reproof for doing cartwheels on the roof...""
"Jack Dee: "A naughty little lad called Dave would hide inside the microwave...""
"Jack Dee: "'I see dead people!' claimed young Cole, which made his mother drop her bowl...""
"Jack Dee: "One day a small girl called Sophia climbed right inside the tumble dryer...""
"Jack Dee: "Though often warned, a boy called Rex still tampered with electric flex...""
"Jack Dee: "In spite of warnings, little Stu would taunt the lions in the zoo...""
"Jack Dee: "The infant Mike had such bad genes, he lived on top shelf magazines...""
"Tony Hawks: "A fantasy epic on BBC now, with a tale spanning multiple worlds, in which a threatening godlike figure suffers several bouts of sexually transmitted infections. That's His Dark Venereals on BBC Three.""
"Gary Delaney: "Coming up next, Chris Hemsworth is back in the Marvel crossover that's also a sequel to Frozen - Thaw.""
"Gary Delaney: "Next on BBC Two, Dara Ó Briain is back as the host of the quickfire topical panel show for Chinese cannibals who eat the shy. It's Wok the Meek. ...if you could hear the footsteps going all round the houses to get to that one!""
"Pippa Evans: "On ITV at eight o'clock, mystery guests sing songs while wearing elaborate masks, before a celebrity jury attempts to guess which is the least attractive. That's The Masked Minger at eight o'clock.""
"Rory Bremner: "Later on Radio 4, a new series in which Kirsty Lang travels to each region of the UK in an attempt to find the country's finest sperm bank. That's Round Britain Jizz, this Friday at 11.30.""
"Tony Hawks: "Next on ITV a new game show, giving contestants a chance to win an any of an amazing selection of panty liners. That's The Sale of the Sanitary, next.""
"Jack Dee: "Belinda made her parents vexed for all she ever did was text...""
"Jack Dee: "'I think I shall try six', said Fred, 'electric blankets on my bed'...""
"Miles Jupp: "Coming up this evening, Ben Fogle takes his fossil hammer to Dorset's Jurassic coast on a hunt for the perfect ammonite. That's Cracking One Out with Ben Fogle, later this evening.""
"Stephen Fry: "And talking of piers, Piers Morgan and Katie Hopkins visit Oxford to examine the Reverend Spooner's passion for the repair and maintenance of the city's traditional watercraft. That's Care of Punts, coming soon.""
"Stephen Fry: "Meanwhile on BBC One, Charlie Dimmock takes command of a squad of Coldstream Guards as they completely returf an entire rugby pitch in time for their crunch match against the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders. That's Sod This for a Game of Soldiers.""
"Stephen Fry: "And tomorrow on Radio 4, Spice Girl Melanie Chisholm asks 'can owning a sheepdog cure depression?' That's Mel and Collie, later on Radio 4.""