"[Encountering the Big Top] Well I'll be greased and fried! What in blue blazes is the circus doing here in these parts? I love the circus! Come on! Maybe we can get some free passes. [Noticing the purple lights on the tent's cables] I've never seen one that looked like this 'un before. Well... I don't know Pooh, you know there's something kinda peculiar around here. Where is everybody? There's nobody around. Where's the dang ticket booth? [A shadow from inside the tent follows them] How are we supposed to get in and see the show?"

"Charles Chiodo - 'Klownzilla' the King Klown"

"Christopher Titus - Bob McReed"

"Royal Dano - Farmer Gene Green"

"Peter Licassi - Paul Terenzi"

"Michael Siegel - Rich Terenzi"

"John Vernon - Curtis Mooney"

"John Allen Nelson - Dave Hanson"

"Suzanne Snyder - Debbie Stone"

"Grant Cramer - Mike Tobacco"

"(from trailer) Killer Klowns From Outer Space...It's Crazy!"

"Big Top...Big Shoes...Big Teeth!!"

"[after just witnessing the blinding light] Well I'll be hornswaggled! Did you see that little ole sky doggy zip down there, Pooh? [Looks at his comic]] Haley's Comet! And it's landed in our backyard! [Excitedly runs into his house to get his shovel, axe, and pick]] This is out lucky day! We gonna be rich! Pooh, we gonna be rich! Thousands of people are comin'! Gonna have hot dogs and helicopters and airplanes and tacos! This is our lucky day! Pooh, we gonna be rich!"

"Horrific Harlequins With An Appetite For Close Encounters!"

"Alien Bozos With An Appetite For Close Encounters."

"In Space, No One Can Eat Ice Cream!"

"Debbie Stone: Nobody's gonna put me in a balloon again!"

"Paul Terenzi: [as Jo-Jo The Ice Cream Clown] I'm Jo-Jo the ice cream clown with the bestest ice cream in town! We'll give you a stick, you'll give it a lick. And it'll tickle you all the way down. Ice cream! ice cream! We brought our goodies here to you! A tasty treat for while you screw! Let's take a break! Cool off those hot lips with our frozen fruity bars! Icy-Wicies, Fudgy-Wudgy bars. And everyone's frozen delight, the Lick-a-Stick!"

"Amusement Park Guard: What are ya gonna do with those pies, boys?"

"I'm supposed to read you your rights. But you're in Mooney's jail, and you ain't got no rights!"

"I made it through Korea I can make it through this bullshit!"

"They took your wife away in a balloon? Well you don't need the police, pal, you need a psychiatrist!"

"[Discovering Pooh has been dognapped] What in tarnation is going on here! Where's my dog?! Where's my Pooh Bear?! I'LL TEAR THIS THING APART WITH MY BARE HANDS!!!"

"[Cain asks L.J. who he thinks is a helicopter pilot why they haven't taken off yet] Because I usually drive a Cadilac! [punches out Cain and smiles]"

"Survive the Horror."

"Death is not the end... just pray so."

"A secret experiment. A deadly virus. A fatal mistake."

"I've been a bad, bad girl..."

"The T-virus is protean, changing from liquid to airborne to blood transmission, depending on its environment. It is almost impossible to kill."

"You're all going to die down here."

"Get out get out you CAN'T be in here"

"I don't remember the truth!"

"I'm not on the menu."

"You're all going to die."

"The infection is spreading faster than anyone could have anticipated."

"The evil continues..."

"Our lives are in their hands."

"My name is Alice and I remember everything."