"Say, buddy, who's the most liquid businessman on the street? Waring Hudsucker! Say buddy, when is a sidewalk fully dressed? When it's Waring Hudsucker! You get it buddy! It's a pun, it's a knee-slapper, it's a play on- Jesus, Joseph, and Mary! Is that a Blue Letter! Christ Almighty, why didn't you tell a guy! Hold on folk, we'll express to the top floor."

"Say, buddy, what takes fifty years to get up to the top floor and thirty seconds to get down? Waring Hudsucker! Ya get it, buddy?"

"Hiya, buddy, my name's Buzz. I got the fuzz I make the elevator do what she does."

"And that's the story of how Norville Barnes climbed waaay up to the forty-fourth floor of the Hudsucker Building, and then fell all the way down but didn't quite squish hisself. You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the forty-FIFTH floor? But that's another story."

"And Norville, he went on an' ruled with wisdom and compassion and started dreamin' up them excitin' new ideas again."

"And so began 1959, the new year. When he learned that Norville owned the comp'ny, ol' Sidney was upset at first. It's a good thing Doc Bromfenbrenner was there because he was able to keep Sidney from harmin' his ol' self."

"[having just rammed a broom handle through a clock, thus freezing time. Line spoken to camera] Strictly speaking, I'm never supposed to do this. But you have any better ideas?"

"[Prologue] That's right. New York. It's 1958. Anyway, for a few more minutes it is. Come midnight it's gonna be 1959. A whole 'nother feelin'. The New Year. The future. Yeah ole daddy Earth fixin' to start one more trip 'round the sun and everybody hopin' this ride 'round be a little more giddy, a little more gay. Yep, all over town champagne corks is a-poppin'. Over in the Waldorf the big shots is dancin' to the strains of Guy Lombardo. Down in Times Square the little folks is a watchin' and waitin' for that big ball to drop. They all tryin' to catch hold of one moment of time. To be able to say "Right now! This is it! I got it!" 'Course by then it'll be past. But they all happy, everybody havin' a good time. Well, almost everybody. They's a few lost souls floatin' 'round out there. Now if ya'll ain't from the city, we have something here called "the rat race." Got a way of chewing folks up so that they don't want no celebrating, don't want no cheerin' up, and don't care nothing 'bout no New Year's. Out of hope. Out of rope. Out of time. This here is Norville Barnes. That office he's steppin' out of is the office of the president of Hudsucker Industries. It's his office. How'd he get so high? And why is he feelin' so low? Is he really gonna do it? Is Norville really gonna jelly up the sidewalk? Well, the future, that's something you can't never tell about. But the past, that's another story."

"Well look who it is. Amy Archer, Prizeter Pule winner."

"I wasn't expecting all this hoopla. You can quote me on that."

"Fight on! Fight on dear old Muncie! Fight on hoist the gold and blue! You'll be tattered, torn, and hurtin' once the Munc' is done with you! Gooooooooooooo Eagles!"

"For instance, take a look at this sweet baby. [Shows a drawn circle on a piece of paper] I developed it myself. Yessirie, this is my big ticket upstairs. You know, for kids."

"[repeated line] You know, for kids."

"Stephanie Szostak - Jacqueline Follet"

"Yes, because that's really what this whole multibillion-dollar industry is all about, isn't it? Inner beauty."

"By all means move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me."

"Ines Rivero - Clacker at elevator"

"Alyssa Sutherland - Clacker"

"Gisele Bündchen - Serena"

"Rebecca Mader - Jocelyn"

"Tibor Feldman - Irv Ravitz"

"David Marshall Grant - Richard Sachs"

"Daniel Sunjata - James Holt"

"Rich Sommer - Doug"

"Tracie Thoms - Lily"

"Adrian Grenier - Nate Cooper"

"Simon Baker - Christian Thompson"

"Stanley Tucci – Nigel"

"Emily Blunt – Emily Charlton"

"Anne Hathaway – Andrea "Andy" Sachs"

"Meryl Streep – Miranda Priestly"

"Hell on Heels"

"Tell me, why do we require a trip to Mount Everest in order to be able to perceive one moment of reality? I mean... I mean, is Mount Everest more "real" than New York? I mean, isn't New York "real"? I mean, you see, I think if you could become fully aware of what existed in the cigar store next door to this restaurant, I think it would just blow your brains out! I mean... I mean, isn't there just as much "reality" to be perceived in the cigar store as there is on Mount Everest?"

"Yeah, but are you saying it's impossible---? I mean, isn't it a little upsetting to come to the conclusion that there's no way to wake people up anymore, except to involve them in some kind of a strange christening in Poland or some kind of a strange experience on top of Mount Everest? I mean, because, the awful thing is, if you're really saying it's necessary to take everybody to Everest, it's certainly really tough, because everybody can't be taken to Everest. I mean, there must have been periods in history when it would have been possible to save the patient through less drastic measures; there must have been periods when---in order to give people a strong, more meaningful experience---you wouldn't have to take them to Everest!"

"[Upon entering the restaurant] I was beginning to realize that the only way to make this evening bearable, would be to ask Andre a few questions. Asking questions always relaxes me. In fact, I sometimes think that my secret profession is that I'm a private investigator, a detective. I always enjoy finding out about people. Even if they are in absolute agony, I always find it very interesting."

"Wallace Shawn - Wally Shawn"

"Andre Gregory - Andre Gregory"

"Someone asked me the other day if I could name a movie that was entirely devoid of cliches. I thought for a moment, and then answered, My Dinner With Andre. Now I have seen the movie again; a restored print is going into release around the country, and I am impressed once more by how wonderfully odd this movie is, how there is nothing else like it. It should be unwatchable, and yet those who love it return time and again, enchanted."