"Letters from "kindred spirits" come in, telling of how they agree with my views and how the world stinks, and of how they wish they could just kill themselves. Well, dispose of yourselves quietly, if you must, so long as you don't leave a note saying I told you to do it, you self-esteem deficient loons. I happen to have a certain fondness for existing - soda wouldn't have that lovely fizzy feeling if you were dead. Think of all the things you would miss; cartoons, music, movies, video games, music, art, fingernail growth, sex...well, perhaps not sex, depending on how weird your mortician is."

"I do not adore death as if I were some idiot groupie to the lead singer in a band. I approach it with the mixture of fascination/terror/icy speculation of someone who really knows nothing. I trust, only enough, to know that I like myself too much to even consider bringing about my own demise."

"Doing something purely for one's own enjoyment is fine, but, I must admit, finding that others enjoy it as well has a certain power over the corners of my mouth."

""...there's just a time to pull yourself out of the muddy gloom that sucks at your feet and holds you under the delusion that this is the only kind of attention there is to receive. There is a time to just pack your bag full of a deadly arsenal of weapons and just shake off the dismal robe that shrouds you. Well...perhaps YOU shouldn't go about it that way...No, you probably shouldn't. But you'll be seeing somebody who does. Kids, don't do this at home...unless you're not planning on blaming me (in which case, GO TO IT. We need more things like this on the news.)"

"People. God knows I love them (Do not fear the sarcasm.)"

"I trust that your minds are developed enough to take no offense at these things. If not, well, I'm better than you, aren't I?"

"Please, somebody rescue me from this hell of inferiority!! I deserve better than to have to endure the stupidity of those who do not share my interests in music!!"

"Johnny: (After smashing a sledgehammer into Jimmy's open torso)"I don't like myself much.""

"Jimmy: "We could work together. I'm just like you!""

"No! This is wrong. You...you're supposed to teach me!"

"You work with the living canvas, whose ephemeral beauty is realized at that tiny moment at which the life has truly been extinguished from it's shell."

"Johnny: "I could arrange for that to be true. But at the moment your legs are still attached to your body. Take advantage of that now.""

"Jimmy: "I can't leave!!!""

"Excuse me, but I don't seem to have enough cream cheese to cover both halves of my bagel."

"I’m so depressed. I wish I could kill myself again."

"Hah! No, it won't hurt at all, though some people say it is the most excruciating thing they've ever known. Your hair might fall out."

"Hey!! Move it!! Every place I have to be is important!!"

"Know that, for all its troubles, the world is perfect. Flawless in its beauties and turmoils. Violence and nightmares being a natural product of humanity."

"There is such amusement in seeing the joy in someone when they think they have just gotten smarter."

"The Devil: "Yeah, okay.""

"Johnny: "Will "Mr. Satan" do?""

"The Devil: "You will adress me by my proper, distinguished title - Senor Diablo.""

"HEY!! I'm BLISSING over here!!"

"Understand that these people are not catatonic, they can get up and do as they please. In fact, they all have powers. Highly destructive weapons of the mind. But there is no desire to use them - either out of respect or out of fear of retaliation. Here, the futility and stupidity of aggression is understood."

"OOOOH, SORREEEE!! I only created THE UNIVERSE!!! You’re right, I should be out running LAPS."

"Beware of God."

"This is Heaven. You can stop praying now."

"Someone get this churrito out of my ass!!"

""Not... grasping. She speaks of my manliness, but in... what... a negative way? Confusion!"

"Krik: "Fuck you!""

"Tess: "I can't believe this. I'm escaping a house full of assholes so I can live in a world where they're NOT in chains.""

"Don't make me try to come up with an original curse!!"

"You're not here because that guy is some psychotic, raving, Neo-Nazi NERD!! You're here because you're a small-minded ass-tick!!!"

"So he's shaking and whining that he only wanted a BrainFreezy and didn't want to be bothered. Just like a little girl. We pushed him around some more, for a few more minutes. And then, and I swear this happened. I SWEAR... he shot LAZER BEAMS from his EYES!!!"

"I am laughing at his funny-ness."

"Tess: "You're a real asshole, you know that?""

"Tess: "Okayy!! And, hey, let's also thrust our thumbs deep into our EYE-SOCKETS!! WHEEEE!! C'mon, how stupid are you!?""

"Krik: "Shiit! It feels like we've been running around for HOURS. Let's rest for a minute.""

"MY EYES!! I CAN’T SEE MY EYES!!"

"I CAN'T SEE THE BACK OF MY HEAD!!"

"Because, and I mean no offense by this, I would like to go."

"For, despite the forgiveable ignorance of youth, you are also, likely, being raised by imbeciles, poorly prepared for parenthood, capable only of perpetuating their genetic flaws. What tragedy it is to be just smart enough to know you are doomed to painful idiocy."

"I have seen the light, and it is me."

"There is no worse enemy than the one incapable of knowing why they may be wrong."

"I would insult your intelligence, but what would be the point?"

"Ooh. I believe in pain by whatever name you wish to disguise it under. So, yesss!! I DO believe in love!!"

"Agonizing is the pain of knowledge. Acknowledge my genius and make it more bearable."

"Indeed! The toenail that is your brain is hungry!!"