"Puss: I would wager half a stolen kiss the potion we seek lies somewhere within in that room. I should go. I am more grateful than you, smarter than the donkey, and I can fit through those vents."

"Puss: I shall return successfully and with the utmost speed."

"Shrek: Avoid the hazmat elves."

"Shrek: Uhhh. A root canal? Uhhh. Having my nose hairs plucked out one by one?"

"Donkey: Are we there yet? How 'bout now? I was just kidding. Seriously, though...now? You know what I've been thinkin'? We should start a band! Hey, that reminds me, who brought oats?"

"Donkey: Actually that might be me. That wedding invitation's kind of coming back on me. Sorry."

"Shrek: Donkey!"

"Donkey: Shrek, please don't go out there. You heard what she said. Something, something, ambush!"

"Shrek: Relax, Donkey. I'm an ogre. Unless you know a four-legged beast who could carry all our luggage?"

"Fiona: Bandits! Shrek, let me help!"

"Donkey: No! Please don't leave me, I'm really losin' it here. Besides, Shrek can handle it. Watch. Click on your left mouse button when you want to punch something! If bandits hit you, they'll steal your coins. Just clock 'em good and get your money back. Click your mouse left button twice to do a double punch! Left mouse. Two times. C'mon, Shrek. Click on the left mouse button three times to do a combo punch! Don't hold back with these guys! Give 'em what for! You need to get our wheel back so we can get a move on! Ooooh, Shrek, you showed them! Yeah, those bandits didn't stand a chance against you! First it was BAM! Then it was KAPOW! Then it was, "I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs!-""

"Donkey: Now Shrek, for every problem there is a solution. Say, you know, those logs look kind of weak and crackly. I bet you could combo punch our way outta here! Come on, hop to it, big guy! Now that's what I call dead wood! Let's make like a tree and get inside our onion carriage! Far Far Away, here we come! Four wheels and all!"

"Shrek: Oh, yeah. Here we come alright."

"Donkey: Man! This is taking over! Hey, if people wanted to read, they'd buy a book, alright?"

"Allister: To make a long story short, the King and Shrek sniped at each other over dinner."

"Donkey: Yeah, you know what, Allister? I got it from here. She's all like, "Oh you can be beautiful again, just marry my son Prince Charming", but of course Fiona's having none of it. Why? Two words: "Sha-rek"! So what's this nasty crone do? She goes to threaten the King instead."

"Allister: And the next morning, the King invited Shrek on a hunt. But all was not as seemed."

"Donkey: Where is everybody? Man, I love hunts. This is going to be great. But, where're they all that?"

"Shrek: I'm not sure. The King said to meet him by some tree."

"Donkey: Ogres?! Where?!"

"Shrek: Eww boy. Hello? Anybody there? I know I saw something that time. Hello out there!"

"Shrek: I'm going to check it out. Keep going that way and I'll catch up with you. And if you see the King, tell him I'll be right there."

"Donkey: Okay, but don't be long, I don't want you getting scared without me. I'll just keep going now... deeper and deeper... into this dark, creepy, forest like the brave, noble Donkey that I am. (Gasps) What was that?!?!?! Ooh, look at those pumpkins. Go over to them and click your left mouse button to pick them up. Click your left mouse button again to throw them before they explode. W-what was that?"

"Guy: Hmmm. I fancy some nice fried donkey ears tonight."

"Donkey: Uhhh. Maybe not. Now, I'd say this would be a perfect time to use some love potion... Or any kind of potion come to think of it. I'm going to have to go up there and kick that rope down, potion or not. And one guy is no match for a donkey with a black belt in button mashing. There's a sparkly mushroom I can bounce on. Make me jump and then press that left mouse button while I'm in the air and I'll do a jump attack. Shrek, is that you, man? Alright. A four leaf clover. Free food? Now that's what I call a perfectly lucky and unsuspicious coincidence, seeing as how I'm too hungry and all to think very clearly right now. Mmmm..mmm! It's too bad Shrek isn't here to get some too. Oh man, this is going to hit the spot...! Aaaarghhhh! Shrek! Help! They've got me!"

"Donkey: I knew it. There's no such thing as free lunch!"

"Shrek: Uh oh. What trouble have you gotten yourself into there, Donkey?!"

"Shrek: You just need to stop thinking with your stomach, Donkey! For five little seconds?"

"Donkey: Consecutively? Oh, Shrek, you can crack me up. So where to?"

"Donkey: ...Excellent, thank you. How am I going to get my donkey butt across the water?"

"Shrek: This is going to take some strategy."

"Donkey: Fight pumpkins with pumpkins, I always say."

"Shrek: Let's turn you into a pumpkin pie!"

"Announcer: All right, contestant, race through this level and collect as many coins as you can! You're on a strict time limit so no clowning around like the rest of the game! Start the clock! And...GO!"

"Donkey: Shrek? You hear that?"

"Donkey: You are a pirate in galoshes."

"Puss: What are you talking about? I look good in this. These boots are Italian leather. They accentuate my -- ENOUGH! I am here to kill the ogre. Prepare... to die. And now, señor, prepare to feel my blade's cold, sweet kiss. Cough, cough...COUGH COUGH COUGH..."

"Donkey: Nah, he's a goner. Let's just watch."

"Puss: GAK!! YURK!!"

"Donkey: You heard the man, Shrek! Pleasure his awaitance! Take him down! Hi-yah!"

"Donkey: Was this part of the plan?!? (Shrieks) Shrek! I'm trapped!"