"Dwarf 1: Mumptious o harshness, yes! Overrun by Clan Froggy. Under control of the Fairy Godmother. They've captured Snow White, too! Blumptious o scrumptious, you gonna save Snowy and my Dwarven brethren or not?"

"Dwarf 2: I say, hruff-hruff, mighty good show there."

"Shrek: We're on our way to the other side of Mt. Grimm. Are we close, by any chance?"

"Dwarf 2: I dare say, sweet Nancy, not by a long shot! It only gets harder from here on out."

"Fairy Godmother: Oh Stone Warriors, You are my aces. Pound those smiles Right off their faces!"

"Dwarf 3: Uhh... Oh... Thanks for saving me. Now hurry up and rescue Snow White."

"Dwarf 4: Beards and whiskers, free at last! Listen, guys, first things first, We need to save Snowy from the clutches of Fairy Godmother. Once you do it's smooth sailing to Far Far Away."

"Dwarf 4: Goshness oh safeness, she's alive!"

"Fairy Godmother: Not so fast! Fiona will marry Prince Charming, and you all can take a dirt nap! Catch me if you can!"

"Fairy Godmother: You may have stopped me this time, but I'll get you, and your little donkey too!"

"Shrek: Now on to Far Far Away and my Fair Fair Fiona."

"Narrator: Handsome and the crew made their way to Far Far Away. They arrived to find Gingerbread Man brought a little friend. Well, okay... a big friend! Unbeknownst to the crew, Gingerbread Man had whipped up a monstrous cookie creation to help defeat Fairy Godmother. Unfortunately, his weapon of mass destruction turned out to be a mass of doughy devastation."

"Papa Bear: Help! Knights are attacking the giant cookie, but destroying the city. Only you can put out the fires."

"Shrek: We'll take care of this."

"Papa Bear: Great. I'm going on a porridge break. Meet me at the trucks when you're done. Now, will you get that lunatic cookie monster out of my town! He is a HUGE fire code violation!"

"Leperchaun: Pay me a billion pounds if ya want to pass!"

"Gingerbread Man: We don't have that kind of dough."

"Leperchaun: There once was a Ogre with a wish, Who had all the grace of a fish. His motley crew will pay me my due, Or all this will end with a..."

"Gingerbread Man: Squish?"

"Leperchaun: Hey, that rhymes!"

"Magic Mirror: Wherever lies a cookie, the Big Guy will strike. So toss cookies wherever you like!"

"Magic Mirror A princess in distress? An army of balloons? And a giant cookie man allergic to milk? It's gotta be Hero Time!"

"Gingerbread Man: Go get 'em!"

"Narrator: Well, things were about to get ugly. If Shrek and Fiona didn't kiss before midnight, they would be transformed back into ogre form. But what do you know? Those crazy kids decided to go for the ugly. Love can make you do some pretty strange things. If you don't like awkward kissing scenes, then turn your head."

"Shrek: Now that's more like it. You're beautiful."

"Fiona: And you are truly handsome, Shrek."

"Fairy Godmother: Oh nooooooo! Why? Why? Why?"

"King Harold: Aaaah, I think my carriage is double-parked."

"Fairy Godmother: You're not going anywhere, you incompetent little toad!"

"King Harold: Ribbitt."

"Fiona: Hey, toots, you can't zap my father like that! I will never marry your son!"

"Shrek: Looks like we got our happily ever after without your help."

"Fairy Godmother: AARGH!!!!!!"

"Shrek: Guess you underestimated us."

"Fairy Godmother: The only things I underestimated were trolls and elves. If you want something evil done right you have to do it your evil self."

"Prince Charming: How about this for your happily ever after? What's the matter? Not a troll fan?"

"Donkey: Yeah! It's about time we kicked this dork to the curb. Or to the tree. Whatever."

"Fairy Godmother: That's it! I'm sending you straight to the glue factory."

"Fairy Godmother: What do ya know? I can be beaten."

"Donkey: I'm gonna need a whole box of tissues."

"Puss in Boots: Ah, lovers make the world go round."

"Magic Mirror: Well, Shrek and Fiona got their happily ever after all. Now put down the controller and go outside to play. We're done. Really. It's over. That is all. Folks."

"Narrator: Once upon a time there was an ogre named Shrek who found and married his true love, Princess Fiona. After returning from their honeymoon, they found that their friend Donkey has moved in and taken care of their home. Worst of all, he would not leave them alone. It was then that they received an invitation to a kingdom Far Far Away. Princess Fiona's parents were throwing a royal ball in honor of her "Happily Ever After" and were anxious to meet her new husband. Nervous and with some hesitation, Shrek reluctantly agreed to go to Far Far Away."

"Shrek: We are ready to leave for Far Far Away. Where is Donkey?"

"Princess Fiona: I don't know, he went looking for Dragon two hours ago. Would you go look for him?"

"Shrek: Look for him? I'd rather leave him behind!"

"Princess Fiona: Don't be so grumpy."

"Shrek: Oh alright, I'll go look after Donkey!"