Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

"This is the Johnny shirt that all your ugly friends are wearing. You are much better looking, so get it and make them see how hideous they are. It's not really edible, you could eat it if you really tried."

"Knock on me. You just TRY IT."

"Plastic Roses: Get your ass kicked for being insensitive."

"Dude, can you spare some change? I need beer."

"If you can read this, you are probably not dead yet. - The management."

"You'll pee fire!"

"Your intestines will hate you."

"Enjoy your stay."

"I Eat Food"

"What Do You NEED?"

"Johnny the Hamicidal Maniac"

"Hellfire Vodka"

"ring me, I dare you"

"777 the # of the moose"

"For a good time, don't call me. I am dull."

"t-shirt of Johnnys"

"Do you know what it's like to be trapped into a life you never planned on having?"

"I haven't smiled once since you were born."

"You ruined my life!"

"Mommy's ignoring you honey. Go bother your father, he's in his study."

"I can't hear you honey."

"Time's up boy!!Next time I see you, you will be a lot smaller and coming out of my other end!"

""My dog's name is Woofles!" (concluding his speech on armagedon)"

"Yeayyy... see you tommorow, Squee!"

"Stand back amigo, this is a job for the ANTICHRIST!"

"Nny... It felt like such a good thing with him. Have you ever hated someone for making you like them - like them so much... and then wish they would die?"

"You know what's worse than hiding from what scares you?!? Do you?! I'll tell you-- it's having good things pass you by because you're too busy cringing in idiot terror, hiding someplace where all you can do is dwell on shit!!"

"Sigh... It's so pretty when you're looking down on it."

"You see, he's a bit upset just now. None too pleased with the turn of events. I, on the other hand, feel quite lovely. Ironic, really, considering I'm known to be the depressive side of things, while he is more accustomed to being the manic one."

"You are nothing more than an outhouse to him, Mr. Eff, whereas I am his home. He will return, and when he does, that will be the end of it."

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BACTINE!!"

"Don't expect anything but nasty irritation from anyone you didn't create."

"You're alive for now! Why waste your existence mimicking the dead!? Go enjoy!!"

"Don't make me break my foot off in your ass!!"

"Poisoning our boy's mind with your shit!! You offend me!!!"

"You bought me from the pet store, fed me once, and then nailed me to the wall; THREE YEARS AGO. I dont have to imagine."

"She liked you and you tried to kill her. That was impolite."

"I mean, look at you! You devote more time to fuming over the stupidity of mankind than you do to what you once felt so much for!! Your imagination has been subverted!!"

"Killing yourself isn't the answer."

"The extent of your work is that anemic piece of shit, Happy Noodle Boy! A goddamned STICK FIGURE!!!"

"...who would ever suspect that they were no longer the mind behind the other end of their internal conversations. The other voices have become self-aware."

"Hardly. You see, I am holding a giant hamburger"

"There is a disturbing association in your mind, between feeling and weakness. I concur that it does present a vulnerability... but it means openness!! To pleasures! To pains! To grievance and rapture!! What other creatures know such things!!? And you would cast it off like an itchy turtleneck?!! Blasphemy of your species!! Your body screams for input!!"

"You were born a feeling creature. There is no unlearning of your nature. Therefore...there is no choice!!"

"There is no choice. You're always a slave to something."

"Try something else! Put your head in the trash compactor! That should work!!"

"Nothing quite brings out the zest for life in a person like the thought of their impending death. I see by the looks of you that you understand."

"Hmm? What's that Shmee? Mm, Hmm. Yeeess. Hmm? Yeah. Really? Uh, Huh. Okaay. What? Hmm. Well FUCK YOU MR. BEAR!!! You speak LIES!!! LIIIIES!!! Stuffed with pure venom, you vile lint infested bastard!! How many more, like you, are there?!! How many more?!!! You can't even imagine the things I've endured!! And always at the hands of shit like you!!! You don't know the truth!!!"

"Hey, sorry about the window, but I noticed it was locked. I don't suggest you ever lock it again."

"Two nights ago, I was taking a walk at night, and this little chihuahua started following me!!! GODDAMMIT!! IT KNEW!! I ran, and finally lost it, and made it home!!! BUT IT KNEW!! IT KNEWWWW!! Did the DOG SEND YOU?!"