First Quote Added
4月 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"As you may already know, I tried to kill you. I see how that could be construed as a bad thing, but the part that understands that is not the one running things in my little world."
"I've excluded happiness as one of those possibilities we seek for ourselves. Oh, I still want it, but that's beside the point. Contentment - they say it's the ultimate, but I can't even wish for that. I don't even want the desire to be content. I can only hope for silence."
"I like you immensely, Devi. And to prove it, I shall obliterate all of my affection and interest for you. Just like before, but different. I cannot hurt what I do not acknowledge. I don't know of anyone that I love, or of anyone that loves me, but I give you what I can. I give my nothing."
"I know forgiveness is out of the question. I just ask for what we all ask of the people we respect - that the thought of me does not compel you to violent spasms of projectile vomiting."
"Kill my stomach if I'm hungry! Shut off my want if I'm lonely! Tear off my genitals if I'm aroused!! Excess!!! So much excess!! It's so much superfluous nonsense, and I want nothing to do with it if I can help it!!!"
"It's a frightening world to be alone in."
"It must be nice to still have the opportunity to save the cohesion of your pretty mind. The best some people can hope for is to better manage their damage."
"Dear Die-ary, the passions that drive us should be the ones we respect and admire. To feel contempt for one's own motivations is a vulgar thing. Too often, it seems, I've succumbed to less-than admirable compulsions, driven by this furiously reprehensible machine of mine. So many things inside that I can do without - desires and urges and what not. So extraneous. By the time I write in this book again, I hope to be as cold as the moon that lights this page."
"Such amusing fiction, these stories they tell. It always comes to this. If they really had a desire to live, they would've been more aware of how easy it is to die, would've chosen their actions more wisely. In these moments, you can tell they're not regretting having hurt you. They regret doing it to your face. They get so loud. They make so much noise. I try to wait until I'm out of the room before I start laughing... A blur... of... sweating... screaming... human... drama... but, everyonce in a while, they say things that sound like words. They make me think about what I'm doing. The noises make me uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that... sometimes... I wonder... why I don't just get myself a pair of earplugs."
"Dear Die-ary, there's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their "discomfort" like a favorite shirt. I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now... but I can't help but look forward to where it's going."
"Don't disturb me at home...I'm very busy!"
""Try the stew...it's delicious" (from Squee = Dreamtime)"
"I love children, they're so sweet and stay crunchy in milk"
"Why are people so... unpleasant? Honestly, it's so difficult to truly care about so many things without first knowing the answers to some of the most fundamental, mind ravaging questions! How can one possibly respect the existence of something, people in this case, when that something seems to defy respect? They do such trivial things, and find amusement, even up to 'so-called' maturity, in the incessant mistreatment of their own kind."
"These hands!! I can't get them off my wrists!!"
"Squeeze my nub!"
"Now you see what my goiter can do to your follicles!"
"I am wiggling my leg! Witness my leg!"
"NIPPLES!! I HAVE NO NIPPLES!!!"
"Clutch my testes, bloody squirrel humpers!!"
"Cease your flatulent winds and hear my mind-numbing expulsions of wicked noise! Grr!! Cheese!!!"
"I have powers pinto beans can only dream of!"
"Everybody! Say it with me as I wiggle!! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Look David Hasselhoff can fly!!"
"Those kids are after me lucky charms!! Must get to my car and escape! Shit! Speed lines are chasing me!!"
"Crackers! Crackers! But, no squeezy cheese!! You've broken my secret elbow!"
"Holy pigshit, Batman!"
"Oh, the horror!! The funky horror!!"
"Whoopee, and all that shit!!"
"Stop with the mooing you damned chihuahua!"
"Accept my heartwarming gift of tree scratchies!!!"
"Moo! Moo!! Mooo!!! I'm voodoo cursing you!!"
"Goobers or Raisinets?! Goobers or Raisinets?!! Squeak once for yes!! Who has stolen my cheese!! Answer me, or don't!!"
"Note: "Then, so as to anger American audiences, 10 minutes of french dialogue with subtitles ensue, guaranteeing limited theatrical release.""
"Pssst, lady, c'mere and drool on my face."
"The monkey, he see me, but me don't see da monkey. He punch me in da head!! Head punchin' monkey!! Skeetos drinked my head juice!! Corn!!"
"I won't leave you!!! You is my bruddah!! BLOOOGH!!! I won't forget you!! I do mighty kung-fu kick for you!!!"
"I am like a flying potato!! Bow down!! Or I will unleash my zoinky army of surly crack-babies!!"
"I am going to fly into your butt!! Prepare all asses for vicious entry!!"
"End this pathetic deception! I know you're hiding martians in your head!! Gimme them martians! I am going to put butter on them!!"
"Otan jiyou bi o me detou gozaimasu!! [webmaster's note: If anyone can tell me what that means, there will be warm offerings of tree scratchies in it for you. Thank you.]"
"You think, but you're not plywood."
"(Points at a dead dog) "My god!! You're beautiful!!""
"You have invoked an evil older than man!! Older than croutons!!"
"MMMM MONKEYYZ"
"You insane son of a bitch! You just ruined a perfectly good baby! I yell!"
"I am the policeman who punches heads!! Now move along you insane freak."
"Hey you! Stop eating grass!! This isn't some kind of grass eating place where you can eat grass!! Hear me!! I am da law!!"
"You fucking lunatic!! Stop!! Don't make me shoot your groin!!"
"Let's go to my room, Shmee. We'll hide under the blankets and maybe fall asleep before we die."
"No, you're wrong, Shmee. They aren't bad people. They love me. They don't really mean it when they tell me to get kidnapped."