Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

"For those dense fucks who grow weary at the absence of sophomoric violence, here is a little boy being attacked by his cuddly gerbil."

"Check out Happy Jack's Happy Noodle boy Page - I won't give you the URL because life is never easy - do a web search."

"Keep Smiling until you stop"

"It's a book you can enjoy with the entire family, so long as they're numb to the grotesque."

"# Murder. What's with that?"

"# Do you kill people?"

"# Have you ever been murdered?"

"Break glass in case of overwhelming despair."

"Smile! You fucker!"

"Keep off! It's impolite to walk on the dead."

"This is my back"

"The most beloved massive head wound recipient in existence."

"Remember, dog, beauty is ephemeral, pain is forever."

"If you actually believe your true intelligence is determined by some standardized system, well, then you can't be THAT smart. The ability to quote memorized information is hardly worth such joy."

"Cursed with an abnormally vast perception of this cruel reality. Trudging through levels of intense emotion no small minded creature could withstand!! So it is no surprise that, most of all, there is pain in superiority. I suffer..."sob"...because I am better."

"I never asked to be this superior being."

"Your pathetic delusion flatters me!! How open you are in exposing your defective and easily misled mind."

"Indeed! The toenail that is your brain is hungry!!"

"Ooh. I believe in pain by whatever name you wish to disguise it under. So, yesss!! I DO believe in love!!"

"I would insult your intelligence, but what would be the point?"

"Because, and I mean no offense by this, I would like to go."

"I CAN'T SEE THE BACK OF MY HEAD!!"

"Krik: "Shiit! It feels like we've been running around for HOURS. Let's rest for a minute.""

"Tess: "Okayy!! And, hey, let's also thrust our thumbs deep into our EYE-SOCKETS!! WHEEEE!! C'mon, how stupid are you!?""

"So he's shaking and whining that he only wanted a BrainFreezy and didn't want to be bothered. Just like a little girl. We pushed him around some more, for a few more minutes. And then, and I swear this happened. I SWEAR... he shot LAZER BEAMS from his EYES!!!"

"You're not here because that guy is some psychotic, raving, Neo-Nazi NERD!! You're here because you're a small-minded ass-tick!!!"

"Tess: "I can't believe this. I'm escaping a house full of assholes so I can live in a world where they're NOT in chains.""

"Krik: "Fuck you!""

"OOOOH, SORREEEE!! I only created THE UNIVERSE!!! You’re right, I should be out running LAPS."

"Understand that these people are not catatonic, they can get up and do as they please. In fact, they all have powers. Highly destructive weapons of the mind. But there is no desire to use them - either out of respect or out of fear of retaliation. Here, the futility and stupidity of aggression is understood."

"The Devil: "You will adress me by my proper, distinguished title - Senor Diablo.""

"Johnny: "Will "Mr. Satan" do?""

"Know that, for all its troubles, the world is perfect. Flawless in its beauties and turmoils. Violence and nightmares being a natural product of humanity."

"Hey!! Move it!! Every place I have to be is important!!"

"I’m so depressed. I wish I could kill myself again."

"Excuse me, but I don't seem to have enough cream cheese to cover both halves of my bagel."

"No! This is wrong. You...you're supposed to teach me!"

"Jimmy: "We could work together. I'm just like you!""

"Please, somebody rescue me from this hell of inferiority!! I deserve better than to have to endure the stupidity of those who do not share my interests in music!!"

"I trust that your minds are developed enough to take no offense at these things. If not, well, I'm better than you, aren't I?"

"Doing something purely for one's own enjoyment is fine, but, I must admit, finding that others enjoy it as well has a certain power over the corners of my mouth."

"I do not adore death as if I were some idiot groupie to the lead singer in a band. I approach it with the mixture of fascination/terror/icy speculation of someone who really knows nothing. I trust, only enough, to know that I like myself too much to even consider bringing about my own demise."

"...the soon to be ruler of the known universe JHONEN VASQUEZ!! Your desire to be conquered bleeds out of you. I know you want it."

"I mean, I still haven't killed anyone. I think I keep from going over that edge by writing about this person who has taken a flying leap over it."

"Stupid people: I would ask you to keep in mind that this should NOT be a source of moral guidance (THAT WOULD BE MOVIES). Put away the knives and never allow yourselves to forget: YOU ARE STUPID."

"He is thinking of how pathetic this is. [next panel] I don't know what he's thinking here. He is very mysterious."

"Ah, swearing - Beloved crutch of the intellectually deviant."

"Kids, don't be stupid and try this. This is a trained flying toddler."

"Sir? There seems to be a problem with this ice-sucky machine. Please make my pain end."

"Have you seen this boy? He is very ugly."