"Once upon a time, long, long ago. Well, more like 20 years ago. Belle married Beast in front of 6,000 of their closest personal friends. Big cake. Yeah, so instead of a honeymoon, Beast united all of the kingdoms and got himself elected king of the United States of Auradon. He rounded up all the villains and sidekicks, basically all the really interesting people, and he booted them off to the Isle of the Lost with a magical barrier to keep them there. This is my hood. No magic. No wi-fi. No way out. Or so I thought. Hang on, you're about to meet us. But first this happened."

"This is our one chance to prove ourselves to our parents! To prove that we are evil and vicious and ruthless and cruel."

"[After Jay sets off the alarm at the museum.] Way to go, Jay. Now we have to go to school tomorrow!"

"(Singing) The past is past. Forgive, forget. The truth is you ain’t seen nothing yet!"

"Mirror, mirror on the... in my hand... where is fairy godmother's wand... stand?"

"Nasty. I like that guy."

"Leave it like you found it."

"I will never forget Mother's Day again."

"(To Jane.) I love you. But you are on a major time-out."

"Melanie Paxson - the Fairy Godmother"

"Can I go back to my game? I'm on level three."

"I've chosen my first official proclamation... I've decided that the children on the Isle of the Lost be given a chance to live here in Auradon. Every time I look out to the island, I feel like they've been abandoned."

"Maria Canals Barrera - Theresa Russo"

"Holmes Osbourne - Mr. Baruder"

"Riki Lindhome - Galaxy Scout"

"Selena Gomez - Alex Russo"

"David Henrie - Justin Russo"

"Abby Elliot - Lara"

"Thomas McDonnell - Aaron Riley"

"Jake T. Austin - Max Russo"

"Xavier Enrique Torres - Javier"

"Steve Valentine - Archie"

"Thomas Mann - Roosevelt"

"Osric Chau - Peng"

"Thomas Middleditch - Fuzzy"

"Jennifer Stone - Harper Finkle"

"Jackson Nicoll - Albert DeSantis"

"My mom is gonna kill me."

"Oh my God, my ass is killing that cat."

"Sexy kitty, or sexy mouse?"

"Albert, where are my boobs?!"

"Oh God! Oh no, here comes the uplifting chorus!"

"David DeLuise - Jerry Russo"

"Victoria Justice - Wren DeSantis"

"Chelsea Handler - Joy DeSantis"

"Johnny Knoxville - Jörgen"

"Jennifer Alden - Giselle"

"Jane Levy - April"

"Give me your car keys... now!"

"He still chooses her over me? She's a FISH!"

"I can see we have to take this slowly. Mer... maid. Mermaid. Fabled marine creature, half-woman, half-fish, best known for sitting on rocks, staring into mirrors, and obsessively combing our long, beautiful hair. Blah, blah, blah."

"When you help a mermaid, you get a wish."