"Cynthia Dunn: I call it the "every other decade" theory. The 50's were boring. The 60's rocked. The 70's, my god, they obviously suck. So maybe the 80s will be like, radical. I figure we'll be in our 20's and hey, it can't get any worse."

"Darla Marks: What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head, bitch."

"Clint Bruno: I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer. [glances over his shoulder] Looks like we're almost outta beer."

"Carl Burnett: We're not in Junior High any more. We're freshmen. We're in the big time now... where the girls will be puttin' out all the time."

"You just wasted another fucking beer!"

"[on speaker from his truck, to junior high students] Okay, all you freshman fucks, listen up!, Today's your lucky day, Normally you'd be spending your freshman summer getting your asses busted, and running for your worthless little lives. But today, since we feel so sorry for you, we're gonna make it easy on ya; gonna save us all a lotta time. If you meet us here, right here, after school today, y'all only get one "lick" from each of us. But if you run like cowards, well, it's open season, all summer long, boys. Oh, and Mitch Kramer. Mitchy-Mitchy-Mitchy-Mitchy...We're lookin' for you, pal. Your ass'll be purple before the day's over. Have a nice afternoon. [kisses CB mic]"

"I’d like to dedicate this first lick to your mother... fuck her."

"You are an embarrassment to the sport of pool, and you should be honored that I even let you play at my table."

"Man, it's the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. If it ain't that piece of paper, there's some other choice they're gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall "Pink" Floyd wants to do, man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin' man, L-I-V-I-N."

"[repeated line] Alright, alright, alright!"

"[to Sam] Sweetheart, now that you're old enough, there's something I've always wanted to tell you and I think you're ready to hear it: you're not very pretty and you're not very bright. I'm so glad we had that talk."

"Julie Gonzalo - Shelby"

"Andrea Avery - Gabriella"

"Madeline Zima - Brianna"

"Regina King - Rhonda"

"Dan Byrd - Carter"

"Chad Michael Murray - Austin Ames"

"Jennifer Coolidge - Fiona"

"Hilary Duff - Sam Montgomery"

"Austin: I live in a world full of people pretending to be something they're not. But when I talk to you I'm the guy I want to be."

"Shelby: [Sam walks down the main stairs into the dance] Love her dress. Hate her."

"Hal: Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

"[after Sam and Austin get together] Oh my God! You gotta love high school!"

"Have no fear! Zorro is here... [slight pause] AND HE'S GOT THE KEYS TO HIS DAD'S MERCEDES!"

"[repeated line] Anything is possible if you just believe."

"[to Rhonda, biting her freshly manicured nail] I'm a very appealing person."

"Shera Danese - Vicki"

"Megan Mullally - Call Girl"

"Sarah Partridge - Kessler"