"What's our main attraction? You, of course! Get ready to party like never before! We've got it all! Minigames to make you move! Boards that make your party groove! So come one and come all! What fun we'll have! Clashes! Crashes! Brawls! Falls! Who am I, you ask? I'm your master of catastrophe, MC Ballyhoo, at your service! And, of course, I don't run this show solo. Two heads are better than one. Meet my friend - Big Top."

"Hungry Piranha Plants! Deep-rooted secrets! Paths that branch off to danger! You'll tangle with all that and more in DK's Treetop Temple!"

"Treasure on the far isle! Pirates on the prowl! Blasting cannons! It's time to run the gauntlet in Goomba's Booty Boardwalk!"

"One mischievous monarch! Two terrifying pitfalls! And a billion ways to go mad! You'll find it all behind that door! Deranging! Rearranging! It's King Boo's Haunted Hideaway!"

"Who's at the wheel?! How long is this train?! Are you ahead... or behind?! Welcome aboard the Perplex Express! Where are we going? Insane! And at the speed of crazy!"

"Crueler than pirates! Scarier than ghosts! Riskier than a runaway train! In Koopa's Tycoon Town you'll play an unbelievably dangerous game! Real estate - dominate the town!"

"Beyond space! Beyond time! And beyond decency! We're in the blackest hole of all - Bowser's Warped Orbit! It's seriously sick and twisted!"

"Let's see who goes first! Smack the Dice Block! Punch with your Wii Remote!"

"Now it's time to start this party! Let the games begin!"

"Observe yonder Star! Be the first to reach the Star Space with 20 coins to pocket that prize!"

"The Star Space will then move to a new spot. Maybe closer to you! Or farther! Who can say?!"

"Now witness a legendary jungle contraption: the DK Barrel Cannon!""

"If you pay 5 coins, it'll blast you across the board! Where exactly? Who knows?!"

"And anytime you find Candy lying around, snatch it up! If you can't find some..."

"Head to the nearest Candy Shop and load up on the sweet stuff! What's all the hubbub about Candy?"

"You can gulp a piece at the start of your turn to mess with competitors! And to change your fate!"

"The breezy boardwalk behind me goes straight to a pirate island. Get there as fast as you can!"

"Captain Goomba awaits you there. He'll give you a free Star every time you reach him!"

"Good thing Dolphin Shuttles are standing by! They'll help you get down to the end faster!"

"So spend away, competitors! Shell out coins for rides and Candy to make the run again and again!"

"Come close, folks! The walls have ears! The stairs are staring! The whole manor has no manners!"

"But don't panic! Keeping your head is key to the Haunted Hideaway, where you must locate King Boo!"

"The manor is a maze where you can't scan ahead to find the correct path! That true path leads to King Boo."

"Most of the other paths...well... those dead-end in pitfall rooms!"

"Take the correct turns and you'll stumble upon King Boo's den! He'll give up a Star for 10 coins!"

"Then King Boo will boot you all out! You'll restart your Star hunt here, but all the rooms will be shuffled!"

"So many cars! So much luxury! But what looks like such a straight run to the front locomotive... is actually a disorienting trip!"

"And if you somehow reach Shy Guy, he'll give you a Star for 20 coins!"

"To win the day in Tycoon Town, you'll seize Stars by investing your coins in the Hotels behind us."

"When you pass a Hotel, you can pour coins into the place by giving your cash to the Koopa Bellboy!"

"Whoever has invested the most coins in a Hotel becomes its owner. And the owner gets its Star!"

"Here's when it gets brutal. Real estate is competitive! You can STEAL a Hotel!!"

"To steal a Hotel, stuff more coins into the place than anyone else has. Then you're the new owner!"

"Here's the second twist! If your cash plus everyone else's adds up to a certain amount..."

"That hotel will grow! A 1-Star Hotel will turn into a 2-Star Hotel. But who benefits? Only the owner!"

"That's how you get Stars here! The truly wealthy make 3-Star Hotels and block steals with 100 coins!"

"We're in Bowser territory now. And you'll play by HIS rules. So you'll start with 5 Stars..."

"There are no star spaces in Bowser's territory, so each team starts with 10 Stars."

"Then earn more the Bowser way: Stealing! Steamrolling! Savagery! You'll need two kinds of Candy... Bowser Candy and Bullet Candy!"

"Chow down on these to steal Stars from each player you pass!"

"Bowser Candy lets you smack 2 Dice Blocks, and you'll steal 2 Stars from each victim!"

"Bullet Candy lets you blast farther! You'll get 3 Dice Blocks, but steal only 1 Star per victim."

"Study where foes are before chowing! Which will steal you more Stars? A short rampage? Or a long snipe?"

"On to the race to the Star Space! Where can it be? I'm crazed with anticipation!"

"(Player) reached the Star! Victory is within reach!"

"So close, yet so far! You don't have enough cash! You need 20 coins!"

"Will you trade 20 coins for a Star?"

"Really?! You don't need a Star? Inconceivable! Imponderable! I hope you don't regret this... (if the player says "no" to a Star)"